Such A Gas.

Last night I dreamed that I was doing stand up comedy with Rosie O’Donnell. There we were, both on the stage together, hamming it up and telling the funniest jokes, one-liners and stories known to gay America. Unfortunately, I can’t remember a word I said, but I do remember the crowd roaring with laughter. Rosie found me quite humorous as well.

And it wasn’t even one of those naked dreams.

I like to think that I make people smile. Maybe chuckle. Even laugh out loud once in a while. It’s my contribution to the world.

I have no idea why I had that dream last night, but it’s kept a smile on my face all day today. I hope you have reason to smile as well.

That’s Mr. Crocker.




Thanksgiving Pies.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Earl and I began our Thanksgiving feast tonight by baking two pumpkin pies. It’s the first time I’ve ever made a pumpkin pie, solo or with assistance. It’s funny, but I never realized how many ingredients went into a pumpkin pie! The recipe we have from Wegmans called for maple syrup. I don’t know if that’s common or not but I found it quite interesting. I let Earl fill the crusts. He wanted a nice, “restaurant style” pie so the filling comes right to the top of the crust. I can’t wait to dig into the pies on Thanksgiving day.

I was never much of a baker before we moved in this house nearly two years ago. Sure, I would whip up some cookies from time to time, but now I must say that I really, really enjoy the experience. Maybe it’s because we have a bigger kitchen or something. Perhaps it’s becaue I get to play with gadgets like the mixer, the “magic bullet” and the can opener. The other night I saw one of those can openers on television that takes the lid off of the jar for you. How cool is that! But I doubt we’ll get one, it’s like taking a chunk out of my masculinity card.

Medium in 3D.




Medium in 3-D

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Earl and I are ready for tonight’s 3D episode of Medium. While we were grocery shopping last night, there we were in Wegmans, ready to swipe the debit card at the checkout when I loudly proclaimed, “We need our 3D glasses!”. I shoved aside the woman behind me who seemed to have way too much asparagus on the belt. (How much asparagus can one eat, anyway?) I spotted the smiling faces of Patricia Arquette and Jake Weber on the cover of TV Guide and practically jumped over two adjacent lanes to grab two copies. The man next to the magazine stand looked at me with a puzzled look. I told him, “We need our 3D glasses for Medium!” and bound across asparagus woman’s cart again to get them to the scanner just before the cashier hit subtotal.

I didn’t even need a phone booth or room to whirl with orchestral accompaniment to accomplish this feat. This is probably a true Jump The Shark moment for the show, but it’ll be fun nonetheless. We will forgive them for any extra cheese in tonight’s episode.

We’re ready for the big show tonight. Do you have your 3D glasses?

Philadelphia Freedom.

On Saturday night, Earl and I decided to take a drive into Center City Philadelphia to take a look around. We were in town visiting the family for the weekend and the family activities had come to a lull so we figured it was a good time to get out and about.

I’m not super familiar with Philadelphia. Earl is a native of the area, so I let him do the navigating while I drove the myriad of streets in the “gay area” near Antique Row. I always find that area so charming. I particularly enjoy the narrow streets that are barely wide enough for two bicycles to fit between the sidewalks, let alone a vehicle of any size. Walking amongst the centuries old houses in this area is so peaceful. As soon as you enter one of these streets, the sounds of the city seem to fall right away, and there you are in your own little historical paradise, walking down a sidewalk with no traffic coming by. You can almost feel the history as you pass by the homes, a psychic sense of the clap-clop of horses from days gone by, the smell of wood smoke. There are times when I wishe we lived in such a house in Philadelphia. Something off the beaten path, a home rich with history where the doors aren’t particularly square and the glass in the windows is a little wavy. The stairs creak, the plumbing bangs (though is still quite functional of course). A location where I rely on nothing but my feet or mass transit to move about the area, whether its off to work, picking up groceries or meeting friends at the corner pub.

Of course, we haven’t hit the Lotto yet, so I don’t see that coming to fruition any time soon. But it’s always fun to dream.

Television Fun.

Earl and I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from Philadelphia. We were sure to pick up two copies of this week’s TV Guide. Not because we want to know what’s on, but because we need our “3D” glasses that are enclosed in the magazine for tomorrow night’s “Medium in 3D!”.

And while I’m typing this entry, I’m watching the remake of “The Poseidon Adventure”. It’s just not the same without Shelley Winters.

City Folk.

Earl and I are spending the weekend in Philly visit Earl’s family. It’s been a while since we’ve been down here and it’s good to see everyone and catch up on the family news. Plus there’s a rumour that there might be a trip to Atlantic City tonight, which I think is a great idea since I’m feeling the luck.

We’re staying with Rick and Helen this weekend which is always a good time. It’s nice to be able to sit in their living room with my PowerBook and surf the internet. The fun part is that they don’t have a high speed connection so I’m apparently borrowing a neighbor’s wireless connection. Netstumbling is always a good time.

Rick and Helen have a cat named Jones who needs to learn the rule when Uncle J.P. is using the computer. “Thou shall not nudge the PowerBook.” I think he smells his cousin Tom or something.

The Maligned Mustache.

I was doing a search on Google for some good looking guys (who doesn’t do that from time to time?) and ran across George Eads from CSI. He’s a little too close to the “pretty boy” look for my taste, but nevertheless he is very attractive. Especially now that he’s grown a mustache.

Apparently fans of the show (especially those of the female persuasion) are fit to be tied because their little piece of cheesecake has fuzz on his face now. What a bunch of babies. The man looks great!

I don’t know why there’s this stigma attached to having a mustache. “He looks like a cop.” “He should be a porn star.” I don’t know if anyone has noticed but men naturally grow hair on their face. It’s the way nature intended it. Adult men are not naturally baby-faced and then one day decide to stick some hair on in an attempt to be stylish. It’s work to scrape it off each morning and a task that many men dread.

I once had a boyfriend who threw a fit whenever I grew my mustache. “It makes you look too old.” Who cares? You’re only as old as you feel and quite honestly, I felt better about myself when I had a mustache. So in that respect I was quite relieved when he dumped me. I grew the mustache and didn’t shave it off for a long, long time. When I did shave it off (just to change my look or whatever), I immediately grew it back. I felt naked without it. Years later when I lost a bunch of weight I thought I’d shave it off and go with the trendy “soul patch” under my lip. I didn’t feel trendy though, so I grew my beard.

I have noticed that there is more opposition to a mustache vs a beard. I don’t know why. Food is more apt to be stuck in a beard than in a mustache, so it’s not like there’s men running around with spaghetti hanging out of their mustache or anything. And it makes for such a soft landing spot when you’re planting a kiss.

I am looking forward to future pictures of George Eads with a big, bushy, fireman’s style mustache. I hope he’s an inspiration to men everywhere.

Next time your spouse, boyfriend, significant other, whatever decides to grow a mustache or beard, don’t close your mind to it, encourage him! It’s the way nature intended it to be and at the very least, you’ll save a mint by not buying Mach III blades.

George Eads with a mustache

Energy.

It’s been about 48 hours since I’ve downloaded Madonna’s new album, “Confessions On A Dance Floor.” I’ve downloaded both the non-stop and the traditional versions of the CD and have had the non-stop version loaded into the Acura stereo since Tuesday night.

I can not stop listening to this CD. This album is fscking awesome!

While I can’t find a weak track in the bunch, I do have my favorites. I love the ‘smooth’ sound of “Get Together”, I really enjoy “Sorry” (rumoured to be the next single) and I’m diggin’ the trance-disco sound of “Jump”.

It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve thoroughly enjoyed an entire album from an artist, the last one being BT’s ECSM in 1996. I long ago lost faith in pop music and today’s artists, figuring that a pop album with an adult, yet dance appeal was a thing of the past.

I’m happy to say that Madonna proved me wrong.

“Confessions On A Dance Floor” is not sugary but it is full of energy. There’s no anger or rage on this album, just good, melodic, musically complete tracks. If you like good dance music and haven’t added this album to your collection, what are you waiting for?

Welcome home, Madge.

Morning Moonlight.

While quite beautiful, there is just something wrong with waking up by moonlight to start the day. There is something just out of whack with looking out when getting up and seeing the entire lawn bathed in moonlight. When I arise, I want the sun shining beautifully, birds singing their joyous song and gentle, warm breezes carressing my naked body lying on the bed.

Alas, we live in Upstate New York. The sun won’t be seen for days, the birds are vacationing down south and the gentle breezes are most likely the beginnings of a blizzard.