Uncategorized

I don’t usually write a blog entry from work, especially being the busy executive that I am, but I just had to write down this epiphany.

I like meat. Now get your mind out of the gutter. Of course I’m talking about the dinner table. Last night I had two cheeseburgers at McCrappys. Today I had a delicious turkey wrap (it’s called a ‘Perky Turkey’) with just hint of bacon. I haven’t felt this energetic, but more importantly, balanced in a long time. Is it possible that I was starving my body of necessary nutrients by eating a vegetarian diet? One can not find a clear answer through research, so I’m just going to go with what feels right. And right now, I know I feel good.

Earl is in Ohio through tomorrow night, which means that I’m fending for myself when it comes to meals. He’s the cook of the family. He likes to cook and make wonderful meals for us. When he’s out of town, I go into “popcorn mode” where I just of survive on a tub of well oiled popcorn for supper every night. Popcorn is my favorite food, especially when dripping with butter and various fatty oils. Plus, I was raised on popcorn. My mother felt it was a necessary part of every non-breakfast meal, whether it was a bowl of soup, a hamburger, a steak or the Thanksgiving Turkey, there was a bowl of popcorn, fresh from the Radarange, next to the main dish. Come to think of it, I may have had popcorn once or twice for breakfast too. Anyways, so now I live on popcorn.

Last weekend, after a particularly satisfying food binge, we promised each other that we would eat healthy this week. I was going to go back to my vegetarian ways. We were going to be thin and trim for our trip in June. I called him this evening to remind him not to go through the McCrappys drive thru and to go to Subway instead. (Typing that sentence makes me realize how I sound frightfully close to a nagging wife… lesson learned on that one.) After all, I had a wonderful veggie delite from Subway this afternoon for lunch while I was on the road and I thought he might enjoy the same pleasure I did. Of course, I neglected to tell him that I accompanied my veggie delite sub with a large order of Tater Tots, but I was never a stickler for details.

Well for some reason I just couldn’t face another bowl of popcorn tonight, Orville Redenbocker be damned. So I drove to McCrappys and ordered up myself a double cheeseburger value meal… large. The wench in the drive thru wouldn’t super size it for me, nor would she sell me a McRib because apparently McDonalds doesn’t feel that March is a month for McRibs. They suck. Apparently McDonalds is trying to get on the “health kick” and not offering super sized meals now because of that ridiculous “you made me fat” lawsuit. I knew I was going to feel guilty about going to McDonalds before I did it, so I drove two cities away to go through there drive thru window instead of eating at the McDonalds right down the street. Apparently in my little mind, crossing city lines wipes away any guilt that one can accumulate from betraying his lover and eating at McDonalds while his lover is suffering through another Subway sub. I don’t know what makes me think I’m married to Jared. So not only did I do a disservice to my vegetarian ways by eating two cheeseburgers, I went on a 45 mile round trip to do so. Bush Lite would be proud of my extraneous oil use! Great. Now I’m a meat eater AND a republican.

I’m going to fess up with Earl during our nightly “good night” call in just a little bit. I hope he’s in the mood to go to Tom Wahl’s this weekend to kiss and make up.

*Never one to assign blame, the fast food urge can be attributed to my blog friend Thomas’ eating an entire three pound tub of potato salad in one sitting. I couldn’t find potato salad, so instead I headed to McDonalds. Its *his* fault.

As I mentioned before, I’ve been feeling a need to get back to the simple life. Now, I don’t want to do it Paris Hilton style, or even Eva Gabor style (though I do think that Eva and Zsa Zsa were much more fabulous than the Hilton girls), but I am trying to keep life as uncomplicated and organized as humanly possible.

It started with my computer late Sunday night. When we switched to Verizon DSL a month or two ago, we received a free subscription to MSN Premium. I sort of poo-poo’ed it, since I was in a Linux brat phase and tossed the CD aside. Well Sunday night I installed MSN Premium on my computer and I must admit that I like it! I must be a sucker for marketing or easily distracted by pretty baubles, because I really like the layout of the screen, the integration of e-mail and the “sidebar” stuff, including a list of my unread messages, a list of who’s currently online, my upcoming itinerary for work and the MSN Radio Station service which has a fabulous 80s channel on it. It’s more geared for the computer novice, but if the winsupersite guy can use it, so can I. And he’s such a big geek he gets to write about it for a living. If you ever want to IM me, I’m on MSN/Windows messenger. Click the icon on the left side of my blog screen to say hey.

The washer woes continue. As I always say, “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux“. After meeting the washer repairman yesterday (who wasn’t really my type), nothing has been accomplished. Apparently something is rubbing between the inner and outer tub, though he couldn’t find anything. It was not really comforting that he could shine his somewhat feeble flashlight through the outside of the tub and see into the washing machine. Talk about cheaply made! When he took the bottom panel off the washer, a screw and an important looking rubber gasket fell out, which was reassuring. The Frigidaire tech support guy that was coaching the repairman over the phone thinks that a tub support arm broke, but the only way to find out is to completely disassemble the washing machine, removing everything but the door. Then he has to, as he put it, “crack open” the sealed outer tub and see what’s wrong. Then he has to put in all new parts because it’s suppose to be sealed. And that’s if there’s something wrong with the tub, it could have something to do with a strut breaking a cement brick. Lovely. For a washer that is now 123 days old, this can’t be good. I called Frigidaire (now Frigidaire by Electrolux) and told them I wanted a new machine pronto. They had to wait for the repair guy to fax over his report, which he had done, but the faxes only print once a day and that’s at 2 a.m. Talk about customer convenience. Then the matter has to go to the “replacement review board” which will determine if I’m worthy of a new machine or not. I must say that the thought of there actually being a board called the “Replacement Review Board” is rather frightening. But not to worry, this should all be cleared up by 2012.

So, I’ve decided that tomorrow night I’m going to take a stroll through a used appliance store and see if I can find an old GE Filter-Flo washer …



…from the 70s. Those machines were indestructable. Or maybe an old Westinghouse like the one my mom used to use the garden hose in. A knob or two here, lots of water there, and viola! Clean clothes.

If anyone wants a slightly used Frigidaire front loading washing machine, have I got a deal for you.

Earl and I have been very busy today planning our trip to the Great Plains in June. We’ve made a couple of modifications to the itinerary and are leaving the “desert run” off. Instead, we’re concentrating on Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas and Nebraska. We’re hoping to make this our “Americana Trip”, where we see the sights and sounds of the good old Midwest. Enjoy some country fair blueberry pie. See some cows. Admire the corn fields. Frolic in a wheat field. Maybe spot a severe thunderstorm or two. I know it sounds terribly simple, but we are really looking forward to the trip.

Being vain and all, I’ve already begun preparations by letting my goatee grow out so that it can be hacked down to a fu manchu the week before we leave. (For those with a J.P. facial hair score card, please make the appropriate notations.) It’s was around 45 pounds ago that I last had the fu manchu / handlebar type mustache going on, and I think it will be a welcome addition to my thinner face. And besides, it seems to fit in with the Great Plains vibe we’re looking for. I’m glad Earl is tolerant.

I’ve been on this simplicity kick for the past couple of days. It seems like life is becoming way too complicated with the ringing and singing of cell phones whereever you go, barcodes replacing price stickers in the grocery stores, twelve combo meals to choose from at the restaurant, etc. I’ve even been overwhelmed by my computing experiences flinging myself from Windows to Linux to Mac to Linux to Windows to Linux to Mac to Windows. I feel like I’m in sensory overload or something, so I’ve settled down onto Windows (since I’m trying to squeeze two more years out of this computer); I’m shunning combo meals at McCrappys and opting for a Subway salad and I’m just trying to take it nice and easy.

Earl and I decided this morning that we have become completely domesticated (house trained?). The washing machine decided to fling itself apart during it’s high speed spin, which was rather inconvenient, considering the washing machine is only 123 days old, and was quite pricey. It literally scared the shit out of the cat, who was in his litter box when it happened, which is situated next to the washing machine. Hopefully, Frigidaire will get their little butt out here soon and fix it because it’s still well within it’s warranty period. It’s quite amusing how much drama this washer breakdown introduced to our household. “How are going to wash clothes?” “Are you going to the laundromat while I’m in Ohio?” The washing machine has been the topic of conversation all day. We’ve spun old washing machines tales from our youth. “My dad wouldn’t buy us a new washing machine to replace the broken one when we were kids so my mom dragged in the garden hose through the window to fill it.” “We had a washing machine that weighed clothes so you knew when it was full.” We’ve discussed the reasons we bought a front loader instead of the traditional top loader. We’ve tried to figure out why the washer broke. “Maybe I put in too much bleach.” I’ve threw out my useless knowledge about how Hotpoint washers were really made by General Electric which were made by Frigidaire which is really made by Electrolux. To an innocent bystander, it would be terribly underwhelming.

To us, it’s simply home.

Well Earl and I planned out our annual vacation today. We’re flying into Kansas City and then driving to Oklahoma City, Santa Fe, Denver and then back to Kansas City. Right smack in the middle of tornado season! It’s going to be a fun trip and an excellent way to relax and see more Americana. Honestly, I can’t wait. It’s giving us something to look forward to. It’s all puddle-jumper flying, which I honestly enjoy more than the big jet variety. The flight attendants on puddle jumpers are extra nice because they’re bucking for a career upgrade. With enough smiles, they’ll earn sufficient frequent flyer miles to get upgraded to the two and three digit flight numbers.

Come to think of it, there’s a lot of traveling in our future, with Earl in and out of Ohio on a weekly basis, plus, I’m driving to Iowa in April for a computer training course. I’m really looking forward to that, as I’m going to be able to integrate spending the night with Earl in Ohio into the trip. A little nooky on the open road is always nice, especially when it’s with my lover. Not that I would nooky without Earl, but it’s the thought that counts.

Something wonderful happened while I was at work today. The sun came out. There was a little grumbling and hissing in the office, as we haven’t seen the sun in quite a while, and my co-workers forgot what computer monitor glare was like. We have these vertical blinds that are allegedly very stylish, black on one side, white on the other. Of course, they flip the blinds around so the white part is facing in, and then I have to be all Queer Eye and fix them so that the black is facing inwards. These silly heterosexuals never understand the importances of these things. As I’m typing this paragraph, I realize that I use the word “hissy” quite a bit. It’s not that I feel hissy, I just like the sound of the word. There are certain words that just sound funny. Like pip. I defy you to use ‘pip’ in a sentence and not at least giggle on the inside. Or ‘popeet’. Do you remember the ‘popeet’? It was some storage device that compacted upon itself for easy storage when it wasn’t full of junk. It looked like a fat crazy straw with a bunch of ridges. An accordian type thing. Come to think of it, I think I had an ex fling that called me ‘popeet’. What the hell was he saying about me?

Anyways, tomorrow is Friday and of course that creates a warm glow in everyone. It’s nice to feel the positive vibe again.

After my miserable day yesterday, I had nowhere to go but up when it came to my mood. And I’m relieved to say that today was absolutely stellar compared to yesterday.

I started the morning by having a long chat with God again and it helped considerably. I kneeled in our formal living room on my meditation pillow. I closed my eyes. I cleared my mind. I felt surrounded by positive energy and a white light. Not a Star Trek transporter white light (though that would be way cool), but rather a pure, unadulterated white light. That was nice. While I had God’s attention, I asked for assistance in losing the last five pounds I wish to lose.

Surprisingly, I maintained my good mood and didn’t fall down in an emotional heap when I saw the car this morning…

Yes, Mother Nature decided to give us one more spurt of winter to the tune of 12-inches of snow. There are thunderstorms in the forecast for the weekend, so at least spring is on the horizon. Had it been yesterday, I probably would have had a major hissy fit about the weather, but today I just let it slide. Life is much too short to worry about things that you can not control. And besides, half of it melted by this evening.

Work was a breeze. Actually, it’s a hectic time. We’re airing a local hospital’s radiothon for the next three days, so there’s extra stress in the office as we’re trying to get the broadcast to happen without a hitch, while we raise $20,000, $5 at a time. It’s a great cause, and to the stress I say “piff”. Once I adopted that attitude, work was easy.

I was noticing the oddest things today. While I was trying to find the beauty in everyone, it seemed like I was seeing butt cracks everywhere. People leaning over in their chair. Secretaries leaning over the trash can. Here a crack, there a crack, everywhere a crack crack. I don’t think I’m enjoying this lo-riding pants fad very much. There’s no reason to share your crack.

To add to my cheery disposition, Earl told me tonight at supper that he’s cancelled his plans to go to Ohio this week. So he’s going to be home all the way through Monday. Very nice. I think I’m getting through this little bout of crankiness.

I have to take a moment and admit that I had an absolutely cranky day today. Miserable. Frustrating. Things at work just were not going my way. I was feeling very overhelmed. I had a couple of class A hissy fits. Plus, it started snowing again and there was needless hysteria.

So when I got home, I decided enough was enough. I seriously needed an attitude adjustment. So I jumped into the Jacuzzi. I contemplated pouring some bubble bath into the tub, but I wasn’t in the mood to clean-up the mess. So I meditated and read the latest book by Sylvia Browne. I asked for all the negativity to leave. I asked for help in finding my positive vibe again.

I know tomorrow is going to be a better day.

Earl and I had a wonderful weekend. I guess what “they” say is true, absence does make the heart grow fonder. It’s sure nice to have him home.

He met up with me Friday night at my Aunt and Uncle’s house outside of Syracuse. I cobbled together a computer for them and installed it, amongst pizza and wings for supper. It’s always nice to get together with the family, and I enjoy helping out with what geeky talents I have.

Saturday morning was the annual St. Patrick’s Day parade in Utica, and since I work for a radio station, we had to be part of it. Living in Upstate N.Y. can make a St. Patrick’s Day parade interesting, especially when it’s snowing so hard that you can’t see two or three floats ahead of you in the parade. And to keep things really interesting, one is decked out in full winter gear, complete with ski mask and gloves. In fact, your gloves impede your dexterity, so instead of throwing a tootsie roll or two, you end up throwing a couple dozen. At most parades, children are begging for candy, at the Utica St. Patrick’s Day parade, children are cowering in fear of being pelted by large amounts of Dum Dums.

After the fun and frivolity of the St. Patrick’s Day parade (who was that masked man?) Earl and I headed off to Rochester, because it’s rare that we do anything close to home. We had a wonderful meal at Champps in the EastView Mall in Victor and then did a little shopping. I say a “little” shopping. Actually, Earl (with a little coaxing from me), bought a new set of cookware from Williams-Sonoma and I (with a little coaxing from Earl) bought a new Toshiba e805 PocketPC to replace my Sony Clié. It’s not that I wasn’t enjoying the Clié, in fact, it’s been a little trooper, but I felt that I had outgrown it. It was a base model so it didn’t have a lot of room for expansion, and I was really feeling the need to jump on the WiFi wagon. And I never felt that the Clié was the sturdiest piece of equipment I owned, so instead of getting a bigger and better Clié, I jumped onto the Microsoft bandwagon and switched to the PocketPC platform. Quite simply, I love it. I love finding WiFi hotspots. And I can’t believe I’m admitting it, but I like Windows Mobile much better than PalmOS. I’m already ten times more productive on my new Toshiba than I was on any of my Palm-based gear. And Earl gets the Clié, which he is absolutely delighted about because it’s in color and has a lighted screen.

On Sunday we were just basically lazy. Did some grocery shopping. To keep things interesting I smashed a $25.00 bottle of vitamins in the “Nature’s Way” section of the store. It wasn’t intentional of course, but my hand went spastic when I picked it up and flung it across the aisle. I had a quick flashback to 1975 when I knocked over a display of glass quart-bottles of 7up in the P&C and my mother shrieked at me and gave me a smack. Earl said I looked like I was going to cry when I dropped the vitamins. Maybe I need therapy after all. Always the honest guy, I went to the service desk and told them I saw someone smash the bottle of vitamins and they better call for a clean up. Just kidding, I ‘fessed up and they didn’t even make me pay.

We watched the third Indiana Jones movie on DVD before calling it a night. It was a relaxing weekend, which is just what the doctor ordered.

I was in good spirits when I went to work this morning. And to my delight, I was still in good spirits when I arrived home this evening. Life is good.

This has been a rough week for me. Earl has been away on business since early Monday. We’ve chatted a couple of times a day via the usual “power couple” channels… mostly e-mail and an occasional phone call. We haven’t explored the Instant Messenger arena yet, mostly because we’re saving that for a “naughty” occasion. The fact that Earl has his work laptop with him should make that adventure most interesting, especially for the people in his company’s IT department.

Anyways, I’ve been tossing around the lonely and frustrated emotions quite a bit, despite my whole +NRG vibe I had going on on Tuesday. Don’t get me wrong, I truly felt, and still strongly feel, a positive vibe going on in my life, and I am shunning all the negativity I can. And believe me, it seems like there’s negativity flowing everywhere these days. Cranky salespeople and cashiers, cranky office building slumlords, cranky co-workers and today, cranky J.P.

Earl and I had quite the phone conversation last night about this whole commuting relationship / power couple thing we have going on. Not that I was questioning our relationship or anything drastic like that, God no, when I said “I Do” I meant “I Do Forever”. The foundation of our relationship is rock solid, there’s no denying it. But I had to admit to him, and myself, that I am quite jealous of his current situation. Granted, he’s in eastern Ohio right now. No offense to readers from the Buckeye State, but he’s not really in the sexiest area of the country. He commutes 700-750 miles roundtrip. He spends his evening in one of two malls or watching the crap currently offered on his hotel television. Not exactly the jet-set life one dreams of, but he’s making the most of it. But I am jealous, because I want to be living the same boring existence with him, by his side, in Ohio. I like long drives. I like banged up malls. I like hotel rooms. Especially when I’m with him. But no, I’m stuck in a city that I wanted to leave long ago.

I suppose I’m being selfish. We have a beautiful new house. We are in good health, we have a wonderful son in our cat and we have everything that one could dream of. Except I want Earl by my side, right here, right now.

He assures me that this is temporary. Once knows the future of his work projects with any degree of certainty, he’ll decide which location needs the most attention and we’ll relocate there, or not. But it’s going to take a year or so to figure out that variable, but for now, he needs to do what he’s doing.

I couldn’t be prouder of him. And I understand what has to be, has to be. I just gotta get over myself.

Speaking of living up to commitments, I have been a beta tester for Microsoft, and am currently enrolled in the Windows XP SP2 beta test. It was going well, until my hissy fit of a couple weeks ago when I decided that I needed to stick a toe in the Linux water and wiped out my hard drive. Microsoft sent me an e-mail recently letting me know that the latest build of XP SP2 was available for download and by the way, how’s the beta testing going? A commitment is a commitment, so I wiped out my hard drive again and am in the process of downloading the latest beta test candidate. I haven’t been very good at staying focused on projects in the past. I intend on changing that.

I’ve been on this “be free and be yourself” kick since the dream I had last week about “letting go”. I’ve been writing messy, just letting my pen glide naturally and letting my feelings flow. I’ve been dressing the way I want to, rather than the way I need to, complete with bikini underwear (wait until Friday!). Bolder colors. I didn’t match my socks. If I had hair, it’d have that tossled look. But alas, there’s nothing up there to tossle. I wiped the shaving cream off my face this morning and decided to start a short beard again. And then I tried to write “+ NRG” (positive energy) in shaving cream on the mirror, but it didn’t stick.

At work, I rearranged my office. I got the computer desk that I can stand up at (you’ll notice the new view on my work webcam). I swapped desks with the graphic designer (whether she liked it or not), ridding myself of the huge behemoth I had that was designed for an IBM selectric (complete with white-out droppings) and going for the smaller desk that is just plain functional. I threw out all my files. I didn’t care what was in them. I hadn’t looked at them in six months, so apparently they weren’t important. So out they went. I dug up an old lamp that someone had discarded. It’s a monstrosity that has earned the name “Revlon” around the office… it looks like a big bottle of makeup. But it works and that’s what’s important. I even put in one of those energy saving bulbs that looks like a warped neon light, usually used by old men that are cheapskates. It gives off a fantastic light. Who cares how much money it saves. I considered dropping an f-bomb in casual conversation, but decided that being free doesn’t necessarily mean being rude, so I said my usual ‘fush’ instead. I even sang to my plants. Nothing shrill, something happy.

Paperwork was turned into me filled out all wrong (as usual) today. Did I fall down in an emotional heap? I did not. Did I rant? Rave? Have a first class hissy fit? Absolutely not. I dealt with it. High blood pressure is not worth fushed up paperwork.

I completely broke routine and did my morning stuff in the afternoon and my afternoon stuff in the morning. You know what, it made the day interesting and enjoyable. I walked around an extra block to get back to the parking garage. I whistled. I said hi to a homeless person. I ran from a yuppie.

I listened to what people had to say, no matter what they had to say, rather than multi-tasking and saying “uh huh. Uh huh. Yep. Uh huh.” I looked in people’s eyes. I saw the beauty in all my co-workers today.

At home I wiped American Idol from the ReplayTV. I don’t want to watch it anymore. I was just concerned with joining in on conversation at work and I really couldn’t care less who wins, so away it goes. I also wiped out Will and Grace. I’m not going to lose my gay membership card for not watching that show. And if I do lose my gay membership card, who cares, it’s their loss, not mine. I might even wipe out The West Wing if it continues to become unbelieveable.

I busied myself around the house and gave the towels and extra shot of bleach. The directions for our front loading washing machine say not to put too much bleach in there, but the towels were looking dingy so I gave them an extra dose. If the washer spins apart, we’ll replace it. Who cares. I might go crazy and buy a second hand washer, rather than getting the “latest and greatest” to make up for some perceived deficit in my personality.

Earl and I have made plans to go out Saturday night! It’s been ages since we’ve gone out, partly because I felt couples shouldn’t go out. We’re happy together. Only unhappy couples go out. Well what the hell do I know? Fush it, let’s go dancing. Earl wants to dance. I want to dance. So we’ll dance. Meet us in Buffalo. Everybody dance. Whooo hoo hoo clap your hands, clap your hands.

I don’t know if it’s the beginning of a pre-mid-life crisis or spring fever, but I feel wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Wild. Carefree. I’m living in the moment and looking forward to the next.