Spiritual Stuff.

Since this week seems to be about metaphysical stuff in some ways, I thought I would share with the class an adventure that I shared with my sister yesterday.

Our father passed on a little over a year ago when his home-built airplane (the second plane he built from scratch) crashed into a wooded area near the airport he was testing the plane at. This occurred during the second flight of the plane. Earlier this year I came to terms with the loss of my father. I had had a couple of dreams about him including one very vivid dream in particular where he told me what had happened and that everything was okay. While I will always feel sad that I can’t call him up and tell him the latest road trip adventure that Earl and I have gone on or reminisce with him about something, I know that I’m beyond the grief and pain. I have accepted and I have continued with life, the way I know that he would want it to be.

My sister wanted to see a psychic. I didn’t really feel the need to see a psychic, because of the dreams and the way I was feeling, but I agreed to go along with her for moral support. I had been to a psychic before. This first psychic told me that I was a “bright star that would burn out quickly” and when he tried to cleanse me chakra he felt compelled to hit me upside the head a couple of times. This all took place in the back of a hair salon, so I should have known something was fishy about this guy.

I’m digressing.

The psychic we went to see is pretty well known. She has been doing her thing for a long time. My aunt is her virtual assistant and my aunt assured us that she knew nothing about the people she was going to meet. I met my sister at her office in a hilltop business park.

When we stepped into the entrance of her professional suite it was pitch black. There were no lights on anywhere in the room and there were no windows to let in any natural light. I figured that this must be significant so we propped the door open a little bit so we could see each other with light from the hallway, but otherwise it was completely dark. There was a little sign on the conference room table urging us to just wait and she would be with us in a bit. Sounds of a reading came from an adjacent room. The mood was interesting with the pitch darkness of the room. Come to find out, the building was experiencing electrical problems, there was no other significance to sitting in the dark.

When we met with the medium, she asked us to naturally say our full name and our birth dates. She didn’t bolt out of the room to Google someone, she didn’t speak into a hidden microphone and I scouted the room out for signs of wi-fi. None of this was present. She simply sat in the chair across from us and explained that she would go into a trance-like state and she asked we not bounce our legs from nervousness or fidget in our chairs as that would make her nauseated and she could potential throw up.

Ok, then.

After saying a silent prayer her whole demeanor changed and her face lit up in a very beautiful way. Gazing upwards about two feet above our heads, she smiled and said hello to several souls that had come to visit.

That’s when Dad arrived.

I’m not going to get into the details of the reading because, well, it’s kind of personal, but some things that she did get completely right:

“He says he fell from the sky. What does that mean?”

“There was nothing he did wrong, it was the engine. ‘The bastards rebuilt it wrong.’ There was no way he could recover.”  (Interestingly, my dream journal of that dream says, “There was no way I could recover.”)

“If he had to go, this was the best way to do it because he was doing what he loved. He thinks that everyone should go this way.”

“He was there in the dream that you about him. He was really there. He knows you already know what happened.”

The medium accurately conveyed things about Dad and our family that she couldn’t possibly know. No Googling or anything would give the details of some of the things she mentioned. His personality came through what she was telling us. His sense of values was accurately portrayed. Names were said without coaching or input. Long story short, I fully believe that we talked to our Dad yesterday. I feel more comfort than I did after my own grieving process. 

As the medium went into the trance I felt goosebumps and a radiance in my body that I have felt only two other times in my life and it was absolutely amazing. I may have gone into the room a skeptic (as learned from that other experience from the psychic that wanted to beat on me), but I left yesterday knowing that Dad was with the other family members that have passed on and that he was doing just fine. He was a little startled from having arrived there so abruptly, but he was just fine.

There’s a lot of people that don’t believe in life after this life or that folks have the ability to see the other side. Dionne Warwick, Ms. Cleo and their ilk have kind of turned everyone sour and cynical when it comes to psychic phenomena, but I feel that what we experienced yesterday was real.

If you feel the need to visit a medium, please send me an email and I will share her contact information with you.

Thanks for the visit, Dad.

So for years and years and years we’ve been hearing that something exciting/awful/exhilarating/enlightening is going to happen on December 21, 2012. Legend says that this is the date that the Mayan Long Count Calendar comes to an end. Apparently, it is also the date that the Sun, the Earth and the center of the Milky Way Galaxy are in perfect alignment.

Now, of course this whole Mayan Prophecy thing isn’t based on the fact that it’s 12/21/12. Numbers, or rather, the value that we assign to a specific point in time, have nothing to do with it. The fact of the matter is, for some reason, the Mayan Long Count Calendar ends with this particular Winter Solstice. That’s why the Mayans didn’t mention anything about Time Zones or clock positions or the International Date Line.

Okay, then.

The truth of the matter is, I hope that something does happen this Friday during the Winter Solstice. I hope that people start finding the good instead of the bad. I hope that people start finding common sense again and I hope that people start thinking along the lines of the Greater Good instead of just concentrating on the Richer Self.

Do I think there’s going to be some sort of cosmic or galactic shift? I hope there will be, a shift in perception and a shift in attitude.

I know that I’m not going to wait for the New Year to try to better myself with a bunch of resolutions. I’m going to start the next Mayan Long Calendar with an open heart and an open mind. Maybe the Galactic Alignment will help others do the same.

So I know Oprah talked about this book over a decade ago, but I just downloaded and started reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. As I prime my mind, build my body and feed my soul for 2013, this book felt like a natural fit for where I currently am on my path. I was wondering if any of the gentle readers of this blog had read the book or had any comments. I love feedback.

I think I had a spiritual moment whilst standing on the Golden Gate Bridge this past week. It was a glowing happiness that washed over me as I stood there, enjoying the sun and the breezes and the water below. Perhaps it was relatives that have passed on stopping by to enjoy the view with me. Maybe it was the gentle smile from the clergy-like attired man that was there to speak with those that thought about having their last spiritual moment on the bridge. Whatever it was, I felt calm, at peace, recharged and ready to take on the future head-on after a few moments of standing there.

When I returned to the observation area, the man that knows me better than any other person on this world sensed that “something” had happened on the bridge for me. I couldn’t put it in words for him so I didn’t try. I know I felt more relaxed than I have in a couple of years. The feeling carries on.

This weekend a friend asked if I am a spiritual person. The emphasis of the question was on the word ‘spiritual’ versus ‘religious’. I’m definitely not a religious person; I think the vast majority of organized religions have taken the a beautiful intent and perverted into a diatribe of hate, a conversation of a fear and an intent of pure profit. But spirituality is something completely different for me. Spirituality is found when the heart connects with everything that surrounds it. I seek beauty everywhere I look. I fully believe that this life, right now, is just one chapter of a multi-faceted journey and I fully believe that we have kindred spirits that we have known before, we know now and we will know again. I have met people where there was just a resounding ‘click’. When I meet someone for the first time and I feel that ‘click’, I attribute it to some sort of connection and start talking with them like I’ve known them before. I figure we had a conversation in a previous life or something, so we might as well just continue on together. I know, it sounds very Shirley MacLaine. I’m okay with that (though I wasn’t completely okay with her portrayal of Endora).

I know a lot of gay men that are atheists. I know many that have found a path similar to mine; finding spirituality via the Universe instead of relying on the writings of man. Each of us have our own path and I’m fine with that. I’m not going to try to change your mind and I thank you for not trying to change mine. We have our beliefs and I don’t think that it all comes down a binary answer.

I believe that we can do wondrous things for the world if we just open our hearts and minds. Standing on the Golden Gate Bridge opened up my heart and mind a little more. My goal is to maintain that openness and do what I can to make the world a better place. So yes, I am a very spiritual person and I am happy that I have found that again.

I had written a reminder to myself almost a year ago. I thought it would be a great Father’s Day present. The plan was simple: the new plane would be ready for passengers. I’d get up at the crack of dawn and drive the hour to get to the airport, which is really just a mowed, grassy-strip flanked by trees and a gravel bed and marked with “16” and “34” laid in the ground in cinder blocks. We’d push the plane out of it’s hanger. He would make a thorough inspection to make sure everything was perfectly ready for the flight and then we’d take-off. Hopefully we’d take off towards the north so we wouldn’t have to take off over the power lines at the south end of the runway. We’d head to a fly-in breakfast for Father’s Day, just like we had done so many times in the 1940 Piper J5-A back when I was teenager. The destination would be at Weedsport, Canastota, Marcellus or maybe even Penn Yan. We’d land and put the plane in just the right spot. He would order eggs because pancakes scared him to death (due to his allergy to buckwheat); I’d eat the pancakes because I don’t eat eggs. We’d both eat bacon or sausage. After breakfast we’d chat with the other pilots that had made the journey. I’m sure many would have looked over the new Wittman Tailwind.

Much has changed in a year. I miss you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day. Thinking of you today has generated a couple of tears but many, many smiles.

I consider myself very lucky in that I inherited a magnificent (albeit, convenient) memory from my father. When a customer came into the family store, my father could tell that customer what they bought the last time, even if the last visit had been a decade ago. There was no need for a computer or a contacts tracking database, my father kept it all in his head. I found this amazing. I remember key details of people when I meet them, but unfortunately their name isn’t one of those details. But other things remain. My sister is always amazed when I can relay an event from when I was preschool age. She says she never remembers these things.

I spent the evening with my sister and my mom looking over old photos, some of which included photos from my mom and dad’s wedding day and from their “pre-kids” era. One photo of mom and dad locked in a playful embrace was particularly enjoyable. They were both 18 or 19 and looked very happy. Jennifer remarked that she doesn’t remember any other photos of mom and dad embracing. Despite my memory skills, I don’t remember one either. It’s not something that was commonly photographed. They hugged, we just didn’t film it.

Even though my mom and dad separated and later divorced, I still vividly remember the last time I saw my dad lovingly gaze at my mother. It’s a memory that brings a smile to my face and it makes me feel like a happy kid again.

There are little random things here and there that stir up a memory or two from my childhood and it’s a good feeling. I was a pretty happy-go-lucky kid and I think, like my dad, that when I tried I could find happiness in just about any situation. I need to remember how to do that more often. That’s a memory I need to hold onto. The ability to be happy.

I like looking through old family photos and coaxing more memories to life. It keeps me grounded and helps me remember my roots. I am who and where I am today because of all the influences that built those memories and that’s an awesome thing.

Jamie and I are just back from our spa and massage experience at the Saratoga Springs Spa. Margi has hands of wonder. It has been much too long since I have given my body the honor it deserves and at the end of the massage and subsequent steam room visit, my body said, “Thank you. Thank you very much.” It didn’t sound like Elvis.

Tomorrow I go back to the exercise routine I have started. It is certainly helping with clearing my mind and giving me the centering and balance I have been missing for quite a while. I need to remember to be kinder to my body. I feel much better when I do so. It only makes sense.

The spirit of the holiday season is the most important element of this time of year for me. I like to think that I have moved beyond accumulating large-ticket items under the tree; tokens of love are much more appropriate for me. When asked what I want for Christmas, my response this year has been “nothing, I have all that I want.”

With the passing of both my father and my father-in-law this month, I have to admit that it’s been rather difficult for me to find the holiday spirit. I have found the mingling of sympathy cards with Christmas cards in the mail to be rather solemn, though the sentiments of all were very much appreciated. It was a struggle to find the time to put up the Christmas tree this year; when I looked at it this morning, I marveled in it’s beauty (though the new tree topper we bought a year or two ago seems to be shorting out and blinking erratically).

I have struggled to find that Christmas spirit, but it has slowly been coming around and I have found ways to pass it along and bring the smile back to my face. After all, it’s the little things that count, like shaking the hand of and wishing a co-worker a Merry Christmas before they leave for the day, just after having a rather intense meeting with them. Or giving the fine folks at Dunkin’ Donuts a generous tip to thank them for having an iced tea ready whenever my Jeep is rumored to be in the area. Perhaps it’s sending a text message to someone that needs an electronic hug or leaving a voicemail wishing happy holiday sentiments to someone that you’ve only exchanged email with. It’s these little things that make the difference to me and it’s these little things that are showing me that the holiday spirit is very much alive and well.

Life is good. Happy Solstice. Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays.

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