Ponderings and Musings

Last night I had a heck of a time falling asleep. This is rather odd for me in that I can usually say “I’m going to sleep” and fall asleep instantly. I just roll over and “voila” I’m in the dreamscape accomplishing everything I want to but can’t in the real world.

Anyways, last night I just couldn’t get comfortable enough to settle in for the night, so I was sort of drifting in and out of sleep. This usually results in my babbling in my sleep and apparently Earl finds this amusing. I woke myself up yelling something about peanut butter on my toes and Earl doesn’t like peanut butter so why is he walking through it… DIETY$ knows what I was dreaming about but there you are.

Around 2 a.m. I woke up with a bad case of the sniffles that just wouldn’t stop. Mother Nature decided to give us a cool night with temperatures around 50, and we had all the windows and fans going like it was 80 outside. So it got a little chilly. I usually don’t take cold medicine or anything, but I was in no mood to deal with the sniffles so I popped two Tylenol Nighttime Cold pills, chased them down with a big glass of orange juice and then headed for the couch so Earl wouldn’t have to deal with my constant sniffling until the medicine took hold. I slept like a baby for a couple of hours, then Earl woke mme up and I reinstalled myself in bed until it was time to get up for work.

One thing that I consistently forget about cold or allergy medicine is that it makes me rather cranky. I guess I’m a little bit conscious of it because I’m trying really hard not to just SNAP on people today. Truth be known, I would like to tell everyone to just shut the fsck up and leave me alone. Or I don’t really care if you want my opinion or not because I’m going to tell you it. At 85 decibels. At least that’s how I felt this morning. The medicine must be wearing off because I’m feeling more my jovial self now as I get lunch in my stomach.

I’m glad I’ve had this little bout of the sniffles in August so that I don’t start stocking up on cold medicine to get me through the winter. I’ve learned my lesson early this year. Life’s too short to be chemically cranky.

Today Earl and I had my Mom, sister and her friend Debbie over for a little party. My sister is traveling to Moscow on the 30th to join her boyfriend, the professional hockey player, while he plays for a Russian hockey team through next spring.

In a way I’m very excited for my sister. She’s getting to see a part of the world that few Americans do. From the pictures I’ve seen on the internet, Moscow is gorgeous. Beautiful. I haven’t done a whole lot of research on the city, but Earl and I have tossed around the idea of visiting next winter. I have to admit I’m a little nervous about the prospect, but at the same time I’m very excited as well. I can be self-conscious in unfamiliar surroundings. I can be a little shy. Sometimes it takes a little coaxing to get me started, but then I enjoy myself once I’m out of my shell. It’s a left over worry I guess, from obsessing of what people thought about me when I was a teenager. You’d think I’d have grown out of it by now.

As we were sitting around chatting and munching on some great food, I came to realize how much things have changed since Earl and I first started seeing each other 9 1/2 years ago. I’ve never hidden my feelings for Earl, but at one time I separated the various aspects of my life. My family never heard me DJ in a bar because I DJ’d in a gay bar. My gay friends didn’t meet my family. I never talked about going to gay campgrounds or playing volleyball with my gay friends or going to Boston for Pride. Earl and I now talk openly about many aspects of our lives. We talk about going to the gay campgrounds, we talk about swimming naked at bear pool parties, we talk about the “Earl Overlap” (I dated two Earl’s at the same time before settling down with this one – and yes, I was honest with both.)

Life is so much easier when its honest and real. That’s one of the things I admire about the writings of my blog friend Terry. He doesn’t change pronouns, he doesn’t tame language; he says it like it is whether mundane or outrageous. I find that an admirable trait.

I believe in speaking the truth. It’s not a bad thing.

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like there’s a lot going on but the day is dragging out forever? That’s how I’m feeling today.

Work is going well. It’s not crazy busy, but there’s enough to keep the day moving. But I feel like I’ve been at work for an entire day and here it is just halfway through my lunch hour. Oh well. I think this feeling is an extension of yesterday in that I am totally ready for the weekend, regardless of the fact that I’m on call and we don’t have any major plans or anything.

Oh well. It could be worse. I could have too much to do without enough time to do it. Maybe I should just get comfortable at this slower pace. I’ve complained in the past that life is passing by too quickly, maybe this is the universe telling me that it’s really not that bad.

Comfy.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

I’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly for lunch for the past couple of work days. I know that it’s rare for a man of my age to enjoy peanut butter and jelly, but I really do, especially between two slices of unhealthy white bread.

But it just feels wrong to not have some potato chips to enjoy along with my sandwich. Nothing fancy. I’m a huge fan of Doritos and would never turn them down, but a nice, normal potato chip would be welcomed alongside my sandwich.

I guess I feel all that and a bag of chips today.

I’ve adopted a new stance on driving while using your cell phone. In the past, I’ve always scolded people for yakking on their cell phone while they’re driving, mainly because they become major asshats while doing it. But I’ve found something worse.

A person scrambling for his/her headset to connect to said cell phone to talk while they’re driving.

I now say that if you’re going to talk on your cell phone while you’re driving, go ahead and do it. I’m still going to terrorize you on the road, but at least you’re being practical about it and just holding the phone up to your ear instead of trying to look like Madonna with a ridiculous headset wrapped around your noggin.

The “handsfree cell phone law” in New York State is pure, unadulterated bunk that does nothing to make the gabby driver safer. I believe the law states that you can’t have a cell phone up to your ear while driving. Apparently you can be typing in a text message on the tiny keypad, take a photo of the cop chasing you with your cameraphone or talk on your speakerphone, the one that you still have to push buttons to dial on.

I think talking on a cell phone while driving is dumb. Yes I do it myself, but I don’t have any friends so it’s not like I’m constantly yakking on the phone. And no, I’m not bitter. However, I think it’s less safe to be talking on your cell phone while simultaneously keeping an eye out for Mr. Trooper so you don’t get caught. So I’ve adopted the “pay to play” philosophy.

Politicians can’t stay out of our bedrooms. Apparently they can’t stay away from our ears either.

I’ve recently abandoned using “My Yahoo!” as my start page for my web browser. There were too many pop-ups and it was just too busy. I’ve opted to use Google instead, with the personalized option turned on. While quite functional, helpful and well suited to my needs, it’s missing two key ingredients.

Garfield.

Close To Home.

I can’t seem to get my day started without a peek at these two cartoons. I always enjoy the artistry of Close To Home, and the sense of humor behind the ink. And Garfield… well, as a cat lover I always appreciate the humor in Garfield’s thought bubble and as a fan of food and naps, I always appreciate a cat that can carry both off so well.

I need to find a new outlet for both, without the aid of a newspaper. The challenges we face during work.

I just read that tonight it’s suppose to drop to 56 degrees after a nice, refreshing cold front passes through. I am so excited about this that I am almost giddy with anticipation.

It has been so hot and sticky for the past couple of nights that I feel like I haven’t slept in a week.

To celebrate the cold front, I think I’ll run around naked in the driveway and drink it all in tonight. I hope the neighbors don’t mind.

Then I’ll take a nice nap.

As I type this short little blog entry, there’s an beautifully breathtaking thunderstorm in progress. The rumble of thunder is shaking the house right down to the foundation and lightning is lighting up the sky more spectacularly than any human fireworks display can do.

I love storms like these. It’s awe inspiring and humbling all at the same time. Mother Nature is reminding us who is boss.

And she does it with such a flair.

While Earl and I were out making new friends this weekend, we ran into a couple of guys from Buffalo. They’ve been together for a while and while were making idle chit chat, one of them mentioned that they were from Jamestown. I mentioned that I had lived in Jamestown once upon a time. Come to find out, he and I used to work together for The Resource Center.

He doesn’t work for The Resource Center anymore, but he was able to catch me up on the people I used to work with and such. It was a fabulous trip down memory lane, and I always did enjoy his company when we were working together.

I sometimes find it so amazing that people’s paths cross repeatedly in life. Absolutely fascinating!

While I was cycling tonight I spent some time on a new stretch of the local canal trails. The New York Thruway Authority is doing a bang up job on building recreational paths along the Erie/Barge Canal through New York State. When completed, it’ll be a continuous trail that extends from Buffalo to Albany, with spursto various points throughout the state.

Anyways, the trail wanders through the woods along this new section, and the serenity allowed my mind to wander.

If you have a thought, savor it.
If you have an opinion, voice it.
If you have a vision, pursue it.
If you have a dream, realize it.
If you have a passion, embrace it.
If you have a life, love it.
If you have a love, live it.

Those words just floated right through my mind and brought a smile to my lips, a warmth to my heart, and the will to pedal a little bit harder.

I thank the Universe for the privilege.