Ponderings and Musings

So today is hump day and if all rumors come true, the day that the iPad 2 is to be announced. In honor of this duopoly of an event, I forgot both my iPad and my MacBook Pro today as I left for work. I also forgot my hat and gloves so let’s hope Mother Nature isn’t given a tub of Chiffon and subsequently becomes cranky because I’m living on the edge today.

I’m writing this blog entry on my iPhone. The experience isn’t awful but it isn’t stellar either. Please forgive any spelling or syntax errors that are unusually weird.

I have mentioned before that I believe in reincarnation and all of that and because of this, I believe in déjà vu. I believe that when one experiences that spidey sense it’s because we are on the path that we were meant to be on and that any recent decisions are making an impact on what lies ahead. Kind of like The Matrix but without the crappy sequels. I have been feeling a great surge of déjà vu today and it has put a smile on my face. I must be doing something right along the way. I find reassurance in this.

I started my second year at this job yesterday and I must admit that feels good. The longer hours can occasionally be a drag but I love what I do and I feel like I’m growing in the position so how can it be bad, right?

So we are now officially in the latter half of the week. I think that’s reason to smile too.

So instead of being a graphic holding a baseball bat with whirring motions next to me, I’ll just be a happy face to make others smile.

Life is good.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I am really starting to fear for American society. Over the past decade or so it’s become rather chic to have an IQ that in yesteryear would have been described as “a dull normal.” I’m reminded of the movie “Idiocracy”, where one of the folks from the future tells the time traveler that he has to stop that “fag talk” or people will beat him up. The time traveler is speaking in our everyday version of American English. He opts to use complete sentences and everything.

I recently watched a video where a woman said, “fruits and vegetables are miraculous because you can grow them. If you put seeds in the ground, fruits and vegetables will grow right there.” The tone of surprise in her voice indicated that she had never comprehended this before in her, and this is only an estimate, 20 to 25 years on the planet. This was something that she had just learned and she wanted to share.

One has to look no further than the battleground we call “The American Highway” to see examples of the downfall of our society. What was once the thrilling adventure of driving your merry Oldsmobile has turned into a ride through insanity much like the boat ride in the Chocolate Factory (chicken head notwithstanding). When did the concept of “Right on Red” become such a scary idea? Earl constantly reminds me that turning right on red is an option, it is not against the law to pass on that option and that no one is obligated to turn right on red. Okay, I get that, I guess, but when did it become such a scary venture to make a right hand turn in your vehicle when no other vehicles are headed towards your intended path of travel? I have been trying to find a trend in which drivers get scared about this whole right on red thing and I think it has something to do with the “right turn only” sign, the one with the big arrow pointing to the right and the word “ONLY” underneath it. For some reason, folks seem to think that this means that they can only turn right when the light is green.

Right on red works like a stop sign, except with a nifty light instead of a dull, bland, metal sign. You approach the intersection, come to a stop as directed and then, if everything is clear, you proceed in your intended direction of travel, which should be to the right, since you’re making a right on red. It’s not difficult. If you can’t navigate that, you should be in the institution counting widgets and looking forward to the day that you can be rewarded with using double digit numbers.

Don’t even get me started with the bozo that’s printing up bumper stickers that say “I CHOOSE NOT TO TURN RIGHT ON RED”. I’ll have to print up a bumper sticker that says “I CHOOSE TO REWARD YOUR IDIOCY BY NOT THROWING A MALLET THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.”

Another sign of Creeping Idiocy is the need to mark every, single, stinking hazard with some sort of icon. There is a picture of a man and a snowblower near the chute on our snowblower. Said man is reaching towards the illustrated blades. There are lively marks around said graphic to indicate a whirring motion and that it wouldn’t be a good idea.

What sort of moron just sticks their hands into blades that are moving so fast that they need lively marks to illustrate their whirring? Why can’t it say “DANGER! DEATH MAY HAPPEN IF YOU STICK A BODY PART IN THERE” instead of having this graphic with lively marks indicating the whirring? If someone sticks their hand in their and loses their hand in the process then good, the law of survival of the fittest has won and if the idiot survives, he can spread the word about the dangers of things that whirr. Don’t insult my intelligence by having a stupid graphic on there indicating a very obvious danger. I deserve to be maimed if I can’t figure that out.

It’s like the woman who dumped hot coffee on her crotch and then sued McDonalds so that now every cup has to say “CONTENTS MAY BE HOT” on them and the temperature of coffee has to be lowered enough to not burn the ve-jay-jay. Perhaps balancing a cup of coffee, smoking a cigarette, talking on the phone and shifting the car is not a good idea while you’re trying to drive. You don’t deserve to reproduce you whack job and the universe was speaking to you. Perhaps you should listen.

The other day Earl ordered a cheeseburger. The woman asked if he wanted cheese with that.

A month or so ago I made a cash deposit with a bank teller at the local bank. She told me I could do all of my banking online. When I asked where I would put the cash if I did this particular transaction online, she didn’t have an answer, but she then repeated that all banking transactions can be done online. Her voice didn’t get too robotic but her stare became alarming confused. She just followed the sheep and baa-ed what she was suppose to baa.

I’m thankful to be only visiting this planet.

I’m taking an early lunch today because of my work schedule. For some reason, perhaps the fact that it’s Monday, I just couldn’t bring myself to go through the Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru and get a large unsweetened iced-tea like I usually do. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t want to stomach the taste of the tea that often seems like it’s been run through coffee grinds or because I’m trying to feel outside of a rut, but I decided to get wild and crazy and go through the drive thru of the newly renovated McDonalds.

“May I have a large, UNSWEETENED iced tea with lemon, please?” The capital letters reflect the emphasis in my voice.

The newly installed display with flying graphics and whimsical fonts showed:

1 UNSWEET TEA LG
1 LEMON


Since the flying graphics and whimsically styled letters were urging me to check the display for accuracy, I did just that. All looked good.

I pulled up to the first window and gave the sleeping clerk my money, where she took it, flung some change at me and promptly shut the window. Behind the coating over said window I could see her going back into nap position. I hope her mouth was agape.

I pulled up to the second window where the I was handed a straw, a napkin and a large drink. I could see the lemon floating nicely on top. This made me happy.

I pulled away, since I had checked my order for accuracy and went to a secluded part of another parking lot about a mile away. I flipped on the hotspot on the iPhone, unsheathed my straw and pulled open the laptop. I then took a sip of my 1 UNSWEET TEA LG and discovered that I was the only one that had apparently checked the whimsically designed flying letters for accuracy.

My tea is SWEET.

This does not make me feel SWEET.

Since fuel prices are soaring beyond control as oil corporations laugh gaily, I decided that to go back to the McDonalds would be a waste of fuel and that would outweigh the money I had spent on the allegedly labeled 1 UNSWEET TEA LG. Therefore, I dumped the concoction down the nearest storm drain and fed the lemon to a seagull. I do find the presence of the seagull to be rather disconcerting because we are hundreds of miles from the ocean and at least 100 miles from Lake Ontario. Perhaps he is lost.

I know I feel lost without my unsweet tea this morning.

On the bright side, I shall never cast my eyes upon the whimsically styled letters, the sleeping clerk or the newly renovated McDonalds, because I am going to donate any remaining money I have on my Arch Card to the next homeless person I see and I am never going to set foot into the place again. I don’t care if you have a burger that tries to mimic itself as a McRib sandwich and I don’t buy into the folly of the whimsical letters. The renovation was mere lipstick on a pig and if you can’t pour unsweetened iced correctly into a large cup, when there’s probably an over-designed, technologically wasted piece of crap doing it for the minimally paid minion, I’m certainly not going to contribute to this idiocy.

I’ll stick to the tea run through the coffee grounds in the future.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, blogger folks are starting to write about the signs of spring and how wonderful all of it is. The signs of an early spring are here as well and people are often surprised when I say this is my least favorite time of the year. It’s true, early spring ranks last on my Casey Kasem countdown but I think if we lived in any other part of the country it would be a different story.

You see, we live in the Lake Ontario snowbelt. It’s actually something that I’m quite proud of because I believe it adds to my heartiness. When one lives next to one of the great lakes, you’ll find that when the lake is relatively warm for this time of year, the cold, Arctic air will pick up an extra helping of lake water, shake and stir it gently and then dump it onto those of us that live in the aforementioned snowbelt. This isn’t bad in itself, except that it’s a heavy, wet snow, versus the dry, fun, fluffy one usually finds in a debilitating blizzard. Our snowblower can barely get through an open lawn of dandelions, say nothing of six to ten inches of this heavy snow. There is clogging, there is swearing and there is a promise to a nosy neighbor that if they keep looking out the window and laughing at me, I’m going to clear their breakfast dishes with the aforementioned snowblower.

There is hope, however, because as I cleared out the driveway this morning, the sun was warm enough to force me to take off my hat due to overheating and it was able to melt the rest of the snow. Who knew the pavement was still there under all the white stuff? An extra bonus is when the landscape lights shine brightly under the snow. It’s like Christmas except it’s not.

So I’m ready for the big blast of heat that moves us from early spring to late spring. In these parts it usually comes around July.

Until then, we shovel the heavy, wet stuff.

It is snowing like crazy and I am happy to say that it’s about time. The wind is starting to pick up as well, which may make for some groovy winter driving conditions on the ride from work tonight. I am looking forward to the challenge.

Driving in this morning was interesting because when we got up this morning there had been no new snow, but by the time we left it was snowing pretty good. Locally maintained roads were awful but the Thruway was good for the amount of snow coming down. I saw a few drivers stop dead in their tracks on the Thruway, right in the driving lane. This is just stupid. I don’t know why they stopped, there were no visible hazards in the road but they would just randomly stop. One of the most infuriating things about driving in this weather is the general disregard of common sense and established traffic laws. Red lights still mean stop when it’s snowing. People still shouldn’t park three deep in a parking lot. Common sense dissipates when people are confronted with a challenge. That’s horrifying.

Gas prices went from 3.39 to 3.45 to 3.57 in two days. I’m so happy to hear how good the economy is doing. I’m also glad to hear that job creation is up because I will soon need a second gig to pay for commuting to the first.

I went to the local station to fill up the tank for ride home and when I went into the store I noticed that all milk and bread was gone. Eggs too.

Let’s have some french toast, I guess.

During a storm like this, most things don’t bother me but I find few things more terrifying than plates on a car from a former Confederate state trying to navigate the winter driving conditions up here. Heck, I miss the old New York plates that used to indicate the county because then you knew whom to avoid from the Big Apple. I couldn’t stand the weeping.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

We woke up this morning to moderately warm temperatures. I was surprised to see that it was 45 degrees when I left for work, but I really appreciated it. It made me realize that we are plodding along this winter thing pretty well.

I take Vitamin D on a daily basis to combat Seasonal Affectation Disorder but I still feel a little glum from time to time. My body needs sunshine. I don’t mind cold and snow on the ground but I just need to feel the warmth of the sun to get through it all.

I occasionally remark that spring is my least favorite of the seasons. I am usually referring to early spring where everything is sopping wet, the skies and gray and the weather is so changeable that you can go out in shorts but you have to bring a parka along just in case. I like the results that spring brings and I’m usually golden when I can see a field of dandelions but until then I find it kind of drab.

To celebrate the warm temperatures today I took my morning walk around the parking lot at work. This lifted my spirits considerably. I awoke feeling kind of blah about the day today because the husbear is off to Buffalo for a few days and we have the whole Valentine’s Day thing going on. Loved ones have remarked that I’m considerably off kilter when Earl is out of town and they are correct. Nevertheless we have to do what we have to do.

So as I look around whilst typing, I see the glimmer of sunshine off in the distance and I feel warm enough to roll down the window a bit. Tomorrow they see it’ll get to only 19F but then warm back up on Wednesday. Again with the changeability. I need the sunshine.

We might have to seek it this weekend.

It is a brilliantly sunny day in the Jtown and by this time next week I will hopefully be more motivated to share pictures of such beautiful days with you. Why?

Because I will have an iPhone again.

I should be wicked tired again but I’m not. I went to bed at a decent hour and without setting any alarms, I awoke at 0255 so I could pre-order my Verizon iPhone (it was available at 0300). Verizon was kind and had fired up the order site early so I placed my order, received a confirmation and went back to sleep.

Quite exciting.

Last year I was excited about my Droid and my options of things other than Apple, but then I realized that computing outside of Apple devices is work, and I must be getting old because I just want my stuff to work. Hence, my decision to return to the iPhone.

I could go on and on like the typical Apple fanboy that I really try not to be but instead I’ll just sit back and enjoy the rest of this lunch break in the sunshine.

It has been one of those weeks. You might think that I am about to write about how dreadful the week has been for me, but in all honesty, it has been a really good week. I hope this is a sign of how 2011 is going to be, now that we are nearly a month into this whole ’11 experience.

This morning as I was taking a shower, I found myself grinning. Granted, I still had a silly grin on my face from the dream (see previous post) that I had just woke up from, but I also found myself grinning because I was excited to be going to work. Perhaps the Vitamin D pills I’ve been taking (sunshine in a capsule, I guess) helped coax the inner smile out, but I am feeling a hell of a lot better at the end of this week versus the way I was feeling on Monday morning. It’s amazing what a few days and a few conversations with yourself can do. I ‘fessed up to some of my own personal hangups I have and I’m realizing that while I strive to live a healthy life (and I’m moderately successful at it, I suppose), I’m never going to have that lean, mean body builder body that I always thought I could have. Heck, I even had a little cub gut when I was still in my single digits, why I thought I could achieve something different at age 42 is beyond me.

At a holiday gathering not too long ago, one of my family members asked what I was doing for work these days. I still can’t believe when I tell someone what I do, because it’s something that I used to really want to do when I was a young teen geek. I write programs. I (along with a bunch of other very talented people) maintain network monitoring systems that give smart people the tools to monitor the dialtone for millions of people across the country. That’s wicked cool. I speak Unix. I speak Linux. I speak Solaris and I write in code (PHP and Perl, to be exact). I make data connect. I’ve come so far from the BASIC programs I wrote in the mid 1980s to where I am today and it’s something that I still can’t believe I do and actually get paid for it. When 5 p.m. arrived this afternoon, I could have stayed at my desk at least another two hours continuing on the project I was working on. Granted, it would have made the night seem rather short, but I could have easily stayed and worked and actually enjoyed it, until I realized how much I was missing my husbear and family.

I have been a lucky man for these 42 years. I have tried many things. I’ve been a radio personality, I’ve worked as a caregiver and I’ve been a geek in some capacity all of my life. Each step along the way, however curvy the road has been, has brought to me where I am today.

I would usually say that I am a lucky man, in fact, I just did in the previous paragraph. More importantly, I am a grateful man and I’m also a happy man.

It has been a good week.

I almost always remember at least one of my dreams on any given night. I have a dream journal that I write in from time to time, even if it’s a bullet list of the images or themes I encountered in the dreamscape that night. I occasionally find it amusing to go back and read these journal entries. I wouldn’t dare share them with others as I’m afraid I’d end up in some nut house making rag rugs with blunt scissors. I like to give the appearance of functioning in modern society.

My dreams alternate between wild, whimsical and theme-laden. Last night’s story seemed to feature a cross of all of this. In the dream I had continued with my radio career and had eventually made my way to where many celebrities of my age end up.

I was selected to be Richard Dawson’s replacement of “Family Feud”. Apparently I was skipping the hosts that have had the duties since Mr. Dawson, I was the chosen host and there was going to be much excitement.

One of the families on my first outing was a row of shirtless frat boys who were drinking a lot of beer. The other family was your usual Midwestern family with a ma, pa, kids and a grandma who needed to kiss me on the lips because that’s what Richard did.

We got into the mechanics of the game, which were pretty true to what we know on television and the sound effects were the old ones and the board flipped instead of being electronic. I was having a grand old time being host but towards the end of the game the grandma that had kissed me couldn’t figure out the buzzer so she wanted to arm wrestle with one of the bearded, shirtless frat boys. For this I apparently changed into a tux and read the question into the microphone and the grandma yelled out ‘beep beep beep’ and started arm wrestling the dude. This all seemed quite normal and I think I might have yelled out “Survey Says!” really loud because it was then that I woke up.

There is some symbolism in there that I’m still mulling over but for the most part I woke up with a big smile on my face. I had fun last night!

I think it’s time to change my aspirations and start watching Game Show Network again.

Oh, one curious thing: in my dreams I almost always have a full head of hair and just a mustache. I wonder if this is how my subconscious or soul or whatever sees me, kind of like the way Neo controlled the way he looked in “The Matrix”. Interesting.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

One of my goals for 2011 was to know my limits and then do what I can to expand them. For example, I have this irrational dislike for toothpicks. They friggin’ freak me out and if anyone near me is using one I feel inclined to go ballistic and do what I can to assure that said person will swallow the vile device. I realize that this is a limit of mine and while I still can’t tolerate the sight of a toothpick, I no longer feel the need to buy a pistol when I see one in use.

I have this thing about money. I find it fun to spend. With a big, hard shove from the husbear, I have garnered a huge disinterest in credit cards, mainly because I feel like our financial status is a huge game of Jenga and if I place a credit card anywhere on the stack someone is going to take their paw and knock the whole thing down, reducing my life to living in a mobile home* and eating ramen noodles with lots of butter and the water drained out.

While I refuse to go into any sort of credit crunch again, despite the urgings of our local bank, I do like shelling out cash as much as possible. I tip at Dunkin’ Donuts. I’d probably tip at McDonalds if they ever came back to the counter. I buy two of everything, including things like windshield washer fluid and antifreeze, because 2012 is just around the corner and lord knows we’ll need antifreeze during the big armageddon.

Like most Americans I enjoy spending money but I do it faster than I should. So I have resolved this little bugaboo of mine by setting limits via allowances. My wallet is crammed full of Dunkin’ Donuts rechargeable cards, Tim Hortons cards and the like. I put a weekly amount on the card and then I stick to it. When it’s empty, we are done until the next allowance. I’m thinking of instituting this approach for my iTunes music and app consumption as well because at times I can get a little haywire with that.

It’s not that I can’t control my spending, because I suppose I could if I tried, but doing it this way, with the whole allowance card system makes me think twice about what I’m buying and it hones my budgeting skills in some way.

For some reason I think this approach might work for calorie consumption, but Richard Simmons did that whole deal a meal thing a long time ago and in all truth, I don’t think deal a meal has a card for a Friday cookie from Dunkin’ Donuts that has been saved up for with careful planning throughout the week.

* no kvetching about mobile homes, because I grew up in one and in all honesty I’d live in one again if I needed to. Earl, on the other hand, would rather not think about it at all.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad