Ponderings and Musings

Road Trip.

I am currently sitting in a Panera in Horseheads, New York. Today is my comp day for working the weekend, so I’m celebrating the event by going on a road trip. It’s my first time doing one of these road trips in the new Jeep. I am loving it. And I am eating healthy by eating an Asian Chicken Salad. I find it tasty.

My route of choice has taken me through the Southern Tier of New York State, mostly along the Susquehanna River thus far. Shortly, when I reach Corning (home of Corning Glass Company), I’ll turn right and head up through the Finger Lakes and then head home.

Driving along the banks of the Susquehanna River has been an eye-opening experience, and one that I was not anticipating on this trip. They are still in the process of cleaning up from the recent flooding of the river. Since I mostly avoid the interstates and drive the back roads, I am seeing a lot of homes with huge piles of what appears to be most of their belongings out by the road awaiting garbage removal. These piles include countless toys, tons of insulation that has been pulled from water sogged walls and, a little surprisingly to me, beds and mattresses, evidence that the water was high enough to flood second-story bedrooms.

While I didn’t drive into Binghamton (I try to avoid the cities on these trips as well), I was stunned by the amount of destruction in the Village of Owego and the hamlet of Tioga Center. Whole shopping centers are closed, downtown book stores are throwing away everything and boutiques and the like are dumping their contents and by the looks of it, trying to start anew.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw one of many banners hung from houses that were in the midst of cleanup: “We R Owego, We Will Rebuild.”

I have all of my photo and video gear with me today but I can’t bring myself to take photos of what I’m seeing. Photographing this to share on the internet seems to be callous in a way. Instead I stopped at an open snack counter, noticed one of several jugs collecting donations for local residents, and made a deposit in the jug.

As you head west out of the downtown area of Owego (which, by the way, is quite a quaint village if you’re looking for a little out of the way place to spend an afternoon sometime), there’s an area where there is just piles and piles and piles of household belongs and the remnants of buildings. I couldn’t decide if this used to be a shopping center something but now it looks like everyone is bringing their stuff here and then big trucks are taking it out. At least that’s what it looked like to me.

As I look out the window here in Panera in Horseheads, I notice that it’s raining again. And it’s raining quite hard. I’m guessing this is not the type of weather these folks need right now. I hope they continue to stay strong as they clean up and get their lives back in order.

“We Will Be Owego Again!”

All signs show that these folks are going to do just that.

Intensity.

The Big Project™ at work is coming to the crunch time for the next 40 days or so. Luckily, the Powers That Be™ are completely understanding when it comes to our wedding so I don’t have the stress of having to a do a wild juggling act. This is a good thing, because they don’t really have a choice in the manner.

That’s the way I roll, baby.

I worked this past weekend as it was my on-call week and on Saturday I found myself getting way too stressed out about work. Saturday night we went out to dinner where we talked and relaxed and I was able to find my center again. There’s no reason to get stressed out about this stuff. Life is suppose to be enjoyable so I might as well start enjoying it again. It’s still the best gig for me at this time in my life and my career path shows a lot of promise if I just do what needs to be done, so there’s nothing really to get worked up about.

I’ve had several Mac users dump me from Twitter since I’ve been talking about my Linux obsession more on there. I still think Macs are great products and I encourage people to get them. Personally I’m liking Linux on my ThinkPad and I like sharing my experiences with this on Twitter. Hence the username, “TheTechBear”.

On the other hand, maybe these people dropped me because I talk about tech instead of bearish and/or flirty stuff. I love me some bears, but I have plenty of other ways to indulge in that sort of discussion. I use Twitter as a broadcast medium more than anything, though I do enjoy chatting one on one with likeminded people from time to time (and did it ever cross your mind that I might have more than one Twitter account? I have like five or something like that.) One thing that I don’t enjoy is when people try to use Facebook (and now Google+) as a hookup site. There are plenty of sites out there for that sort of thing and I tend to save my Facebook and Google+ connections for my family, friends and folks I plan on meeting in real life someday, so don’t get offended if you can’t find my underwear shots on either of those sites. Besides, the underwear shots are very old. They’re even in black and white.

There is the one shot I took a few years ago of me naked with my PowerBook G4. Perhaps that would please the masses, though the PowerBook is strategically placed.

Ticker.

I’ve been writing some pretty heavy blog entries this week. I guess it’s reflective of the mood I’ve been in. There is one thing that has really been bugging me that I haven’t talked about yet, though. I need to get it off my chest.

What the hell has happened to Facebook?

I logged in early this other morning and things were different. My chronologically sorted timeline was gone and replaced with “Top Stories”, items that someone deemed were important to me. The birthday list that I review everyday had been shoved down to the bottom of the page and replaced with a scrolling, blob of uninteresting drivel that I couldn’t move and couldn’t delete. If I scrolled the page, that blob of uninteresting drivel remained, slowly recounting what my friends were doing to other people that I don’t know. “Mandy likes unicorns.” “Bobby responded to Edgar’s post.” Who the hell is Edgar?

As a web designer by trade, that unmovable blob of uninteresting drivel’s presence irks the hell out of me. The fact that it’s just shoved there and that everything scrolls around it is just wrong. Bad, bad design. It’s like a fly landed on the screen and started pooping. Hate it.

I know that I’m getting rather on in my years but I thought that a timeline was suppose to be presented chronologically? Why is Facebook trying to tell me that my friends losing at Mafia Wars (what the hell is that?) is akin to a newspaper story? If I wanted to read a newspaper I’d buy one. If people are telling stories then they need a life and to get out of the house more. I’m looking for a chronological view of what’s going on in the people I’ve selected to care about lives.

Honestly, I want to dump Facebook completely. It’s reminding me more and more of MySpace and the reason I left MySpace is because it looked like someone was serving shit on a stick. Facebook is becoming awful. I think the ONLY thing that’s keeping a good chunk of the people engaged in the service is the fact that they and millions of their friends and family are already on there.

Sorry, I’ve never liked a hostage situation and I’ve never liked being told what to do. I might still bag the Facebook thing completely and do something drastic like write a letter or dial a phone. Hell, I might just hang out on Skype and talk to people face to face and leave me witty one-liners to Twitter. And unless someone invents a solid way to import my contact lists from Facebook to Google+ and a lot of people follow along with the conductor, Google+ ain’t gonna do much for me. I know it’s in beta but I’ve seen people take less time to build a rocket to get to the moon. (I don’t know why I selected that outdated metaphor but I did.)

To sum it all up: Facebook sucks and it’s time to Dial-A-Visit. One ringy dingy.

Impressions.

Earl and I still have the death of Jamey Rodemeyer, the 14 year old teen that committed suicide last Sunday as a result of bullying because of his sexual orientation, on our minds. Because the death took place relatively close to home with business connections with Jamey’s mother, Earl and I (and Jamie and Scott) have been wondering what we can do to help make the world a better place. Earl has organized donation efforts within his company and I am helping out in that department as well. We’ve agreed that perhaps the best thing to do is to continue be who we are with no apologies and for me to contribute where I can, even through this blog thingee here. Many others do the same thing, I am hardly unique, and hopefully the right words will reach the right person at the right time and a fatal loss can be averted. Education is always important.

I have been thinking about my high school years a little bit. As I mention on the “It Gets Better” video I made earlier this year, I don’t remember having an awfully rough time at it in high school. Yes, I was teased and I sure didn’t have much in the way of self-confidence, but for the most part I was able to shrug off how people were taunting me and exist in my own little reality until those that taunted me grew up. I also surrounded myself with a good group of friends. It’s a common path for gay teens and luckily the majority of us make it to realize that it does indeed get better. There are two particular incidents that stick out in my mind, though, that I don’t know that I have ever written down.

The first one I remember took place when I was a sophomore. It was the beginning of sixth period and biology class was just starting. The teacher was a man in his mid 40s with wild hair and a disheveled appearance. He was undoubtedly a football player back in his glory days. He used the same overhead projector slides every year and his dittos were always so light because he recycled the same material year after year. He was mechanical in his teaching and I didn’t really connect with him very well. Animals in the biology room were rarely in their cage, we’d often see guinea pigs crawling around on the floor during class.

The clock over his head said 12:21 and he was kicking off the lesson of the day. In a big booming voice he said, “Mr. Wing. Do you know what a homosexual is?”

The eyes of the 25 classmates around me all shot in my direction and there were several smirks. I instantly turned beet red and stammered and stuttered a little bit. An anonymous voice tittered, “of course he does.”

The eyes remained on me as did the those that belonged to the teacher. He wanted an answer. The moments seemed like they went on for hours. I started to speak and the disheveled man answered for me, “A homosexual is a human being that enjoys the sexual company of the same sex.”

I have no idea what he said the rest of the class. Small wonder I missed passing the state exam by one point. Not only was I very embarrassed by this small exchange, it was the talk of the rest of the afternoon. I decided I would never like this teacher nor if his wife wasn’t out on maternity leave, would I ever like her. I never spoke about this to anyone. Not my folks, not my friends. The person that shared the lab table with me leaned over at the end of class and simply said, “That wasn’t very nice of him.” We’d been in school together since kindergarten. She lifted my spirits from zero to 10 on a scale from 1 to 100. Her comment made me not be afraid of ever going to school again, for I felt like some sort of marked man.

Like many college bound high schoolers in my class, I took the accelerated social studies program my sophomore and junior year of high school. To make up for skipping World History I and cramming American Studies I a semester early, we had to make up a missed credit by taking our choice of either Ethics or Psychology the latter half of our junior year, as long as it was Ethics.

The discussion was about our personal ethics and the teacher, a hippie of the 60s and 70s generation, after a lecture about personal ethics and forming our own code that we would live our life based upon, had us put our desks into a circle so that we could have a round-table discussion. We would go around the room and discuss our beliefs and interject comments about each other. I was the first one up.

I started by saying that I was a good person and I believed that one could do anything once they put their mind to it. A classmate spoke up, we’ll call him Fred to keep him anonymous.

“John isn’t really going to go far in this world because of the way that he is.”

I looked down. I knew what he was talking about. There was no guinea pig walking across the floor this time.

“With this new disease and the fact that no one would really hire a sick person, he’ll never be a teacher. Who’d trust a guy like that to be their kid’s teacher?”

Another classmate spoke. The girl next to me said, “Just look at the way he talks and walks. You can hear it in his voice. Who’d elect him for office?”

I reached for the class ring that hung around my neck. It belonged to my girlfriend at the time, but she was more friend than anything. I had no interest to go any further. It was evident that I wasn’t fooling anyone.

A third chimed in, “It’s not like John can join the military or even work as a farmer. Unless he’s a florist.”

I looked down at my hands. I tried to steal the glance of another boy in the room, another one that I just knew was like me, but he wouldn’t look at me. He was looking out the window. The teacher spoke to gain control of the conversation.

The next thing I remember is the bell ringing. I was still looking at my hands. Everyone made a bee-line for the cafeteria since it was lunch time. I got up to walk out after everyone had left and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“C’mon, let’s talk”, it was the hippie teacher. He made his way to the office.

“Are you okay?”

I burst into tears. Within two minutes, another teacher was in the office with me. She was the special education teacher for the entire school. I didn’t know her that well but apparently she had been briefed on what had just transpired.

“You know, you are very special in many ways, John. You are one of the most talented students I’ve ever seen in this school.” Our paths had crossed only once before, she had helped out with the school musical. The only other words she had ever said to me directly were during rehearsals, “wow you can fill this auditorium with your voice.”

“It’s okay to be different. I’m different. I’m in love with Herman and he’s the plant on my desk.”

I sniffled back the tears and laughed a little.

She said some more words to me that made me feel better. “Just be true to yourself. You’ll find your way and people will finally get you. Look at me, people get me and I’m nuts.”

I never had that teacher named Karen, but she probably made the most impact on my high school career. It’s funny about those teachers named Karen, another by the same name got me for who I was. It’s a good thing that she filled in for the regular teacher on maternity leave the year before.

I went into the cafeteria after grabbing my lunch. The other classmate that I had spied looking out the window asked if I was okay. I told him I would be fine and let it lie at that.

We never did continue that personal ethics discussion. The next day we moved on to something else and I have no idea what it was.

All of those impressions have lingered with me. Being singled out by a teacher, the confidence rattling of the comments of my classmates. But the one thing that stuck with me the most was what the teacher I never had said to me, “Look at me, people get me and I’m nuts.”

It’s okay to be me.

Glass.

I tend to become slightly obsessed about little things. For example, I used to work with a woman who put a period at the end of her signature. She’d sign her name and then plop a dot at the end of it. Since we all had to sign the same logs day after day, I’d see her signature there with that annoying plop of punctuation at the end of it. It drove me crazy. I pointed out to her that her name is not a sentence. She told me I was right and she would change her way.

She started signing the log with just her initials, even though it said “Full Name” at the top of the column. The plop of a period remained.

I ended up quitting that job for something better: a place without rampant abuse of punctuation.

I can be a little obsessive.

McDonalds is running a promotion in where you get a free Coke glass when you buy a large value meal. The glasses come in green, blue, purple, brown and clear. I love these glasses because they have some heft to them and I like the way they feel in my hand. Now they’re not as good as the lead painted glasses we got back in the 70s from Carrols, those glasses you could literally die for if you licked them hard enough but how they’ve become collector’s items.

I don’t know that the McDonalds glasses will become collector’s items but I’m determined to stock our cupboard with at least two of each color variation. Always trying to find a better body, I have been avoiding large value meals, or value meals of any type for that matter, but I scarfed one down on Saturday night and scored a glass. I was rewarded with my first purple one.

On Sunday we stopped at a McDonalds for a quick drink. I asked the person at the counter if I could just buy a glass and she answered in the affirmative. But they were out of clear ones (the only one I really needed), so I added another blue glass to the collection.

Today I stopped at the McDonalds near work for my lunchtime iced tea and an absolutely horrible thing happened. They are not participating in this Coca-Cola glass promotion.

I almost jumped up on the counter and started screaming like a wild man. Here I was, buried in a line of people that seem shocked when given the total of their order to the point that they’re overwhelmed by the concept of having their money out of their pocket ahead of time and there is no promised glass at the end of monotony of this ordering process. What the hell is wrong with these people? Do they not watch their own, never ending commercials on television? Do they not realize that not only will I soon have a complete set of glasses for a dinner party of 16? Do they not understand that these glasses look good in all situations, whether in a formal dining room or in the room at the ass end of a mobile home?

I was going to say something snappy and witty to the disinterested counter person but I decided not to and instead of I gave the change she threw at me to the Ronald McDonald House fund.

Instead I just glared at her.

Paradigms.

The QWERTY keyboard we all know and love as it allows us to communicate with our computer was designed to slow you down in typing speed. Did you know that? The reason the QWERTY keyboard is laid out the way it is is so that you don’t find an occasion to type letters that are next to each other very often and that you have to reach around a bit to type commonly used words. Using this design prevented early typewriters from jamming their strike bars as a result of speedy typing. The need for this keyboard arrangement is long gone, yet we continue to teach people this antiquated keyboard layout instead of adopting something new, like the Dvorak keyboard. I don’t have the nerve to try Dvorak keyboard as I’m probably one of the fastest typists you’ll ever meet (and I say that with the utmost confidence), but I hear that if I was able to learn the alternate keyboard I could be even a faster typist. My 43-year old brain has been using the same muscle memory for typing since I was 7. It’s the old dog, new tricks thing.

Imagine what the world would be like today if we had the courage to try new things. Perhaps we could more than two realistic (and I use that term loosely) choices for President of the United States. Perhaps we could elect a leader based on their merits instead of how much money they funneled into a campaign to be the brightest and shiniest.

If we took a leap out of our safety nets or a step outside of our comfort zones, we might find the courage to say “hello” to that stranger on the street looks like they’re having a bad day. Maybe I’d discover that I don’t mind eating eggs. Perhaps life wouldn’t feel so boring as we strive to grow by doing the same thing over and over again. It’s like leaping out of an airplane: trust the parachute and enjoying flying like a bird. You’ll eventually be grounded again.

At age 20, when I sat down at my first staff meeting as a brand-new employee of the second largest computer company in the world, I was told that we needed to shift the paradigm of computing. We needed to approach everything from a different angle. We needed to step back from our green screens and introduce users to a world outside of typing commands at a command prompt. Our job was to help people connect through voice, video and data. It was then that I was first introduced to the phrase “paradigm shift”. That meeting meant a lot to me both professionally and personally. The lessons live within me today.

I never thought I would see the day that I would be able to marry the love of my life. I never thought that my watch would be more powerful than the first computer I used. I never thought I would enjoy the off-key singing of Journey tunes coming from the car currently parked next to me in the parking lot. But I love all of it.

Opening your eyes, looking for a different angle and smiling through it all. Now that’s a concept I can get into.

Waterline.

Things are finally drying out after the two rounds of flooding we’ve had courtesy of Irene and Lee. Our backyard is still quite squishy; there’s no way we can put a ladder up right now to fill one of the bird feeders because it would just sink right down into the lawn. Safety and all that.

During a geek-inspired ride yesterday (to see some new road signs awaiting delivery at a local sign manufacturing facility), I pulled over and took a picture of the trees along one of the roads that was heavily flooded. This particular area is notorious for flooding in even typical spring conditions so I wasn’t surprised to see the height of the flood water line, which looked to be about four feet above the road surface.

I find it ironic that this particular piece of land has a real estate sign on it, advertising it’s availability for residential or commercial development. The sign is relatively new. I imagine that interest in using this land for this purpose is rather low, buildings up on stilts are not all that common in these parts, even on land that is situated between the Mohawk River and the Barge Canal.

I hope the land doesn’t get developed simply because the animals might like to play along the shores of the water too.

Goodies.

I was able to drive home my normal commuting route yesterday for the first time in a while. With all the flooding and such that has been going on this week many of the roads have been closed. I was happy to see that the Amish Baked Goods stand was open.

Another car pulled up to the small building ahead of me. They stopped to talk to one of the Amish men before making their way to the items for sale. As I looked over the goods, I noticed that there was just one pie for sale. It was an apple pie. I purchased that right away, along with a plate of chocolate chip cookies. The girl working the stand was the same girl that has been working there right along. She isn’t much of a conversationalist, but she did look me in the eyes when she said the only two words spoken to me, “You’re welcome”. I was happy to hear that we had progressed to two words, last time it was just “Yes”.

As I made gathered up the goodies and started back to the Jeep, the other couple made their way to the stand. I heard the woman exclaim, “Oh, pickles!”

I hope the stand is open for a few more weeks. The weather is perfect for a quick stop there before the weekend.

Philanthropy.

It is no secret that Apple makes billions and billions of dollars profit on all their iDevices. They frequently bounce around the top 3 list of companies based on their value. They have tons of cash because they’re good at what they do.

While I believe they are giving back to the human experience by giving people quality ways to connect to one another through their iDevices, they’re not as active in philanthropic efforts as one would hope they would be. This is one of the reasons that I occasionally consider switching back to the Microsoft platform; the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is dedicated to bringing innovations in health, development, and learning to the global community (description taken from the website). Bill and Melinda are using a good chunk of their fortune to make important changes in the world. I like this, and this is the reason I have quite a few pieces of Microsoft hardware in my toy box.

I mention from time to time that I have a keen interest in Linux, the free, open-source operating system alternative to Windows and Mac OS X. While it pertains to my geek side very much, I also enjoy Linux, particularly Ubuntu, because it’s very design allows one to take an older, discarded computer and turn it into a relevant contributor again. This, in turn, keeps computers out of our landfills that much longer and allows us to send these machines that were deemed not powerful enough to places where they might not be able to afford it. They may not be the latest and greatest nor the shiniest, but they work just fine and are able to importing things in regards to research, education and the like. And as a quick plug for Linux: No Viruses!

It makes me happy to see that Apple’s new CEO Tim Cook is starting to turn the philanthropic philosophy at Apple around a little bit. I hope he continues that trend. As I get older and because I have the luxury to do so, I am start to consider these types of efforts more in my purchasing decisions. I am also pursuing Linux at home actively again, not because it’s a badge of honour for a geek to be using Linux, but because I have the ability to contribute to the various Linux projects, including Ubuntu, and if I can help make the experience better for the user, then maybe someone somewhere using Linux for an important cause out their in the wild will be able to do what they need to do that much easier.

I have started a little computer journey in the effort of using my skills to give back to the world. I am a lucky geek in that I get to play with technology for my job with a company that keeps people connected with one another. By contributing to various Linux based projects and by sharing my experiences and educating people, I strive to help others to stop thinking about how the computer works and instead focus on using their computer as simply a tool to achieve what they really need to achieve.

The new blog is located at thetechbear.blogspot.com. (Update: link fixed, thanks Erik)

A number of years ago, as I sat with my cousin in a hospital waiting room, wondering if my sister was going to make it through her battle with Legionella and come out in one piece, I remarked that I needed start doing more to contribute to the human experience and to make the world a better place. I suppose everyone says that sort of thing when a loved one is sick and they have lots of time to think and worry while waiting in a hospital. The important thing is to actually take the action and do something, using their natural skills and abilities.

When we do that, I believe we truly can make the world a better place.