Ponderings and Musings

I have not been able to get fully into the groove of work after returning from a most excellent vacation. Part of my brain is still in “Mickey Mode”, which is actually a good thing because it helps make each day a zippity-doo-dah day. In that respect, I’ve been smiling a lot. But the biggest obstacle to getting back into the work mindset has been the fact that I have been in training since Monday morning. I didn’t get to go anywhere exotic for this round of training; for seven hours a day this week I’ve had my headset on and I’ve been staring at a computer screen as the trainer goes through another assault of information. Luckily, this is the last bit of training for a while.

When you’re sitting in an office, staring at a screen, listening to someone talk and then doing the occasional exercise, your mind can wander, especially since there’s nothing to make you go “SQUIRREL” every once in a while. The squirrels hide behind the corporate firewall. So this makes my brain just go into daydream mode and the like and I start thinking about a whole range of topics. This isn’t a bad thing, in fact, it’s a good way to get things sorted out in my head. Luckily, the training wrapped up early and I will be able to get work sorted out this afternoon and hopefully get some things done. Incomplete items on my to-do list distracts me.

So what have I been thinking about? Lots of things: politics, better ways to use my blog, my growing disappointment with tech journalists, the simplification of my life, the reassessment of who is important to me and who is not, all sorts of stuff. Deep stuff. I tend to think deep when I get into a pondering mode.

I was happy to see all of the red avatars in support of Marriage Equality on Facebook on Tuesday and Wednesday. I was also happy to see quite a few people wearing red. Marriage equality is obviously a topic that is near and dear to my heart, so it’s always encouraging to see the support. There might be hope for the populace after all. For the life of me I can’t figure out why some segments of the population feel the need to spend millions and millions of dollars to try to force their personal beliefs on the entire country through a constitutional amendment that would be contrary in spirit to every other piece of the Constitution. Many equate this behavior to the GOP, but that’s only because the whack-jobs have hijacked the GOP because the Republicans have become such a mess. It’s not the Republicans per se as much as it is a segment of the Republicans, much like it’s not all Democrats that go on television spewing that they voted for President Obama because they got a free phone. There is a tendency to divide everything into two distinct camps. It’s black or it’s white. It’s negative or it’s positive. People need to realize there’s lots of gray.

I’ve decided that as I get older I must be getting a touch more cranky because my patience of basic asshattery is quickly dwindling. When I see two cars nearly smashing into each other because both drivers are jockeying for the closest parking spot to the door, putting nearby pedestrians in danger whilst doing so, I want to pull them both out of their vehicles and smack them upside the head. Especially since they’re parking at the gym. But then I realize that they’re not going to the gym to workout, they’re going to use the tanning services the gym provides, which is stupid in itself. Get outside and get some sun. I don’t even know why I go to the gym. Well, I know why I go to the gym, it’s because I sit in front of a computer all day and I need exercise. I’m counting the moments until I can get on my bike and ride on a lonely country road, enjoying the smell of “fresh country air”.

I’ve pretty much divested myself of any interest in what most tech journalists have to say about anything. The latest trend is to just bash Apple to death and make broad proclamations as to why said journalists are switching to whatever platform is the soup du jour. I’m happy with my Apple gear and I have no intention of switching to something else just because it’s the hip thing to do. The closest thing I’m getting to being hip is the handlebar mustache, and that’s still a few months down the road. My “tech reading” has been focused on productivity stuff lately. I’m becoming a productivity geek and for me, what I have on my Macs and my iDevices is what works best. I’m in the process of building my own “cloud” anyways and trying to get off of as many ad-supported services as possible. This helps me keep my brain exercised.

I have o many thoughts going through my head. This blog entry has probably been very rambly and all over the place, but that’s the kind of week I’ve had. Not bad, not good, just rambly.

I’m looking forward to the weekend.

So I’m seeing these Facebook updates about people being disappointed that winter weather is still upon the place we call home.

Last check of the calendar, it’s still winter.

Even though you’ve all convinced yourself that it’s spring by setting the clocks ahead a couple of weeks ago, Mother Nature knows best. It’s not spring. It’s winter.

And that’s why we travel to Florida at this time of year, to find some spring. Because as much as we think it’s spring because it’s light until 8 pm, it’s not really spring. Not yet.

Next time I’ll tell you why the trains don’t run on time.

The sounds of helicopters were heard a little while ago. They were on their way to nearby Herkimer and Mohawk, where a gunman shot six people today. Four of them are dead. Four people were shot at John’s Barber Shop in Mohawk, the other two were shot at a car wash in Herkimer. The gunman apparently set fire to his house before heading over to the barbershop.

It’s kind of weird knowing that this is happening so close to home. What’s really weird is that I know John the barber. He used to cut my hair back when I had hair. Earl and I have both been to his shop on many occasions. He has a really great singing voice. I hope he is safe.

The area schools are in lockdown. The story has made it to the national news.

Though the shootings took place 10 miles away, I’m still locking the windows and doors. It never hurts to be cautious.

I saw the following letter on this blog entry. It is entitled “How To Be Free”.

Um, yeah.

Dear Jake and Connor,
I turned down a really good job offer today. To tell you the truth, it wasn’t even that hard. Even in this new normal, post Great Recession world, the allure of a good job working for someone else just doesn’t exist for me anymore.
It could be because I know it will never be a great job. It could be because my freedom – and the ability to see you guys whenever I want – means too much to me.
You are only 7 and 3 years old right now. You haven’t caught on to the changes that have happened in our lives and in the world over the last few months and years.
The past 2 decades have brought to the world a revolution like no other. The world is now digital and flat and you are connected to almost every other person on earth. You have access to every great idea ever thought by mankind.
This is a threat to anyone with power right now. They aren’t sure what to do….they don’t know how all of this is going to shake out.
As you read this remember that people often overestimate what they can do in 2 years but they wildly underestimate what they can achieve in 10.
Never under estimate yourself! The key to happiness and success in this world is believing you deserve it and knowing you can achieve it. You can! It is as simple as deciding right now that you are happy. That you will define your own success.
I have no idea how old you are going to be the first time you read this but at 7 and 3, you are both incredible people. All parents think their kids are smart and cute and funny so I’ll spare you what I think and let you know that other people tell us these things all the time.
You both have a magnetism that isn’t easily explained. You make people feel better about themselves. In this crazy world, that is truly a needed talent! I hope you both recognize it in yourselves and I hope your mother and I have properly nurtured that talent….because the world needs more of it.
I want to explain something to you guys: At some point, the world is going to offer you a deal.
It will try to convince you that what it needs from you is what you really want.
It will spend millions of dollars on advertising and education, info-tainment and propaganda to steer you in the direction it needs you to go.
The world will tell you that if you work hard, you will achieve success.
That success and happiness are just over the next hill top.
You will go to the finest universities and you will meet incredible people.
Almost all of them, with their souls quietly yearning for something bigger than themselves.
The world will promise a decent living at a good wage. You will travel. You will see foreign lands.
It will offer you guarantees from exile, with friends and followers willing to pretend they are hanging on your every word, as long as you pretend to hang on theirs.
You may even be one of the lucky ones to whom the world offers a soul mate.
Of course, it will neglect to tell you that your submission to the world means you may not be soul mates forever.
It is going to offer you safety and security. It will entice you with imagery of comfort and luxury.
The world will offer you a steady paycheck. A release from the fear of being able to provide or survive.
It is going to offer you the dream of a happy, care free retirement. It will offer you equity in its markets, it will be kind enough to let you relax in your golden years.
The world will offer you a death with dignity. You do not need to suffer alone or be in fear it will say.
The world will take care of you.
This is a generous world. For all of this, it only asks for one thing in return. All the world wants is your humanity.
Fuck the world….go your own way and never look back.
Go make deep connections with incredible people.
Don’t subsist on the shallow connections the world wants you to have.
Go discover new things. Create. Be beautiful.
Don’t buy into the world’s illusion of happiness through wealth.
Go teach people that they don’t have to trade their humanity either.
Show the world you don’t fear expulsion because the connections you have made are too real….too deep.
Show the world you want to be with your soul mate forever. That you won’t sacrifice your love or your family because the world says that is the way it is supposed to be.
Show the world that you do not need its illusions of safety or security.
That you do not want its versions of comfort and luxury.
Show the world that when you make deep connections you do not have to suffer alone or live in fear.
Show the world that when you keep your humanity you get to share it with others.
Only then will you be free.
Love,
Dad

Being out of town for work has afforded me the opportunity to eat out a lot this week, and it is only Wednesday. I am terrified to jump on the scale when I get back home, but aside from some alcohol choices I wouldn’t normally make, I have been doing my best to eat healthy during this trip.

Aside from feverishly looking up calorie counts while gazing at a menu in the selection of restaurants I have been in, I have noticed something that has brought a smile to my face.

99% of the men I have seen in restaurants this week have removed their hat for dinner. And better yet, there is evidence that these men actually did it as demonstrated by their hat sitting on their knee as they sit at the table or in the booth with their family and friends.

There is hope for our society.

I have mentioned before that it makes me quite crazy when a man doesn’t remove his hat for a meal. I find it rude. I’m not going to go on about it tonight, after all I have lectured about it before, but I guess it says something about the folks in this part of Texas when it is apparent that it is still standard practice for a man to remove his hat while at the dinner table. Granted, my observations would hardly qualify as a scientific study, but nonetheless, random samplings of data have given me hope that all is not lost when it comes to this aspect of polite behavior.

Now if we could do something about the high caloric counts in the food!

Last year I was fortunate enough to get myself a 60-minute massage at the Saratoga Springs Spa and Resort at Walt Disney World. I love getting a massage (I prefer the deep tissue version) and it’s one of the few activities where I can completely disengage my mind and ramp my RPMs back to zero for a few minutes. It’s a wonderful feeling. I’m hoping to do it again next month during our upcoming vacation.

While getting ready for this massage, the masseuse wanted me to select which lotion or oil she should use for the treatment. She had me smell each one in a choice of four and then she had me smell each one again. She told me that my body would tell me which one it needed (not wanted) based on my attraction to each scent. The one I liked the most was the one that my body wanted the most. I think that makes sense and it turns out that it worked out just right for me, because I was able to turn everything down to zero and she massaged sandalwood scented oil deep into my skin.

Ah, heaven.

Yesterday my body was screaming for chocolate. I didn’t want sugar-free chocolate pudding, I didn’t want a chocolate protein shake or bar, I wanted chocolate, like that which is found in M&Ms, the way god intended chocolate to be.

I had several handfuls of M&Ms yesterday. Jumping on the scale this morning, I lost nearly two pounds versus yesterday.

Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

As I passed by the M&M dish just a few moments ago, I realized that I just didn’t have the hankering for M&Ms like I did yesterday. I felt no impulse whatsoever to reach into the dish and gobble some down like a gorilla at the zoo. Today I had a hankering for a salad. So, I had some salad with a lovely dressing my husband made last night. That’s the complete opposite end of the spectrum: M&Ms vs salad. I admit that I could eat M&Ms right now but I wouldn’t enjoy them the way that I enjoyed them yesterday. Yesterday I could have eaten a salad but it wouldn’t have fulfilled anything, the way I feel fulfilled today.

I guess listening to my body and eating what I really want to eat instead of what I think I should eat might help get me through this last stretch of winter weather with my weight loss goals relatively intact. What my body is really screaming for is to ride my bike on a country road somewhere, but that’s not going to be happening for at least another month.

I guess in the meantime we’ll hope that my body maintains a yearning for the gym.

I’m working at the office today and it’s your typical Monday. My schedule has been filled with conference calls and I’m eating lunch at 1:00 p.m. There’s little room for complaint, I’m getting things done and I feel productive, so all is well. I have a smile on my fuzzy face.

Driving back and forth to New York this past weekend gave me ample time to think about work and the future and the like. It’s what I do and I guess it helps me process things. I started thinking about retirement and the like; though I’m theoretically around halfway through my work career, I still have goals that I would like to focus on. I like what I do for work and I generally don’t have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. If I do find difficulty in getting up, it’s usually weather related instead of work dread related. I’ve been in the work dread mindset before and it’s not fun; I’m definitely far, far from that these days. I don’t think that writing code and doing the geek thing for pay is going to be my last career though. I have one more thing that I would like to do in the later years of my career and it will help me make that easy transition to retirement if and when I decide to ever retire. It isn’t something I’m going to discuss right now, but having that goal gives me something to focus on.

One of my goals for 2013 was to improve my focus and I have to admit that I think I’m making strides in that area, though I do waiver from time to time. Focus is not something that comes naturally to me. I will freely admit that I am easily distracted and having access to the world while working on my computer does not help with this at all. I can be working away, being productive while listening to music, when a song will come on and then I find myself looking up the lyrics, seeing who remade the song and then I somehow end up chatting about the song on Facebook or something of the like. Distraction leads to rat holes of non-productivity. Concentrating on my goals and the like, keeps my focused and that’s when things starting working well for me.

Then of course, I ramble a lot, which I’m doing right now.

But it’s a focused rambling. Some of the time.