Gayish.

Today is National Coming Out Day. For your reading pleasure, here is a blog entry I wrote back in 2004 on this very subject. And here is another blog entry I wrote back in 2006.

As I said in one of these entries:

So if you’re gay, peeking around the closet door and wondering what to do today, just take a step out and tell someone, anyone, that you’re gay, even if it means admitting it to yourself by looking at your image in the mirror. You deserve the self-respect and those around deserve the respect of you telling them the truth.

I stumbled upon an article on Google+ about Google Pride, the initiatives being taken by Google for Pride Month, in recognition of it’s LGBTQ employees. It’s always good to see companies recognize and celebrate the diversity of their employees. I always consider this sort of thing when out looking for the next chapter in my career.

I started my tech career working for DEC, or the Digital Equipment Corporation, which at the time was based in Maynard, Mass. (DEC is now part of Hewlett-Packard). My first gay pride parade was in Boston in 1989, when I joined many colleagues in the group BGLAD, Being Gay or Lesbian at Digital. Like the efforts described by Google, Digital was supportive of BGLAD and another group within the company, DECPLUS (DEC People Like US), and provided resources so that we could show our pride in the parade with banners and everything. It felt good to work for a supportive company and I have been fortunate enough to work for other companies that are supportive (to varying degrees) as well. I’ve been out in my career for a long time and that’s something that I’m very proud of, if one can be proud of just being themselves. A fellow Google-Plusser mentioned it best, it’s not so much that I’m proud of being gay but rather that I just lack shame for being gay.

I wish we lived in a time and place where we didn’t need Pride festivals and parades, where LGBTQ folks were considered to be completely part of the norm. I don’t need a day to be gay at Disney because I’m always gay at Disney. But until we come to the realization of that time and place that I dream of, there will be the need for Pride Month with the parades and the festivals and the drag queens and the dykes on bikes and the leathermen and all the millions of other folks that are just being themselves.

I think our family needs to go to the Boston Pride parade this weekend.

Barbara Eden joined several other celebrities at “Life Ball” in Vienna. I have to admit, she’s looking good at 78 years old and she can definitely still pull off her ‘Jeannie’ costume.

Photo courtesy of New York Daily News.

Cub has joked that Earl and I tend to celebrate a variety of anniversaries. There’s the anniversary of our first date, the anniversary of when I told Earl I loved him for the first time, the anniversary of when we moved in together and the anniversary of our commitment ceremony at Penn’s Landing in Philadelphia. This weekend we are celebrating a new anniversary, and that’s the anniversary of our legal marriage. One year ago tomorrow Earl and I exchanged our vows in front of family and friends at the Turning Stone Resort and Casino in the lovely hamlet of Verona, New York.

We have returned to the scene of this commitment to spend some time together this weekend.

We are staying at The Lodge. I am told that this is a five-start resort. The folks here are quite friendly and quite good at the whole hospitality thing. The music is playing as I type; the music being part of the turn-down service. Our slippers and bathrobe await. I’m ready to get comfortable.

Earl and I have reservations for our official anniversary dinner tomorrow night; tonight we opted to eat at the steakhouse on the property. The dinner was quite good, though probably too many calories. The conversation with my husband was effortless as it should be and we proudly told our server that we were celebrating our wedding anniversary. She brought us desserts with a candle. I thought that was nice.

Gambling at the casino is not high on the priority list for the weekend, but we are doing a little gambling and I’m currently up about $50 from where I started. I can’t complain about that. Earl has done better and he decided to stay a few moments longer while I type this blog entry. He asked why I cashed out early; I told him that I was adding to the computer fund because I’d like to get a new laptop one of these days. He just smiled knowingly.

I was chatting with my friend Sandy at work today and she couldn’t believe that Earl and I had been together for 16 years. That’s a long time in this day and age! I told her that it feels like forever but it also feels like only yesterday when I first went crazy over this gorgeous redheaded bear. I fell head over heels for him in 1996 and I’ve done it every morning since that life changing day.

My life has never been better. And this is the weekend to celebrate the reason for that.

I think the wine from dinner is making me a little sappy.

This blog entry is a repost from this day in 2005.

Today is National Coming Out Day, the day in which closeted gay men and lesbians are urged to come out of the closet and announce to the world, “yes, I am gay.” The tradition is led by the Human Rights Campaign, which has designated this day to show others that there is a huge support mechanism for LGBT folks.

National Coming Out Day started in 1988, three years or so after I came out to myself and started peeking out around the closet doors. Who am I kidding. I had always known of my attraction to the same sex. It was late in 1985 that I actively began admitting it to myself. I’m not going to go into my whole coming out story this year. If you’re interested in the sordid details, feel free to read last year’s Coming Out Day entry.

I just know that someone, somewhere is doing a Google search on being gay today. Perhaps he lives in a country where he could be shot for his homosexuality. Perhaps she is being forced to marry a man because that’s how she was brought up, when she’d reallly like to marry her female teacher or pal from high school. You’re afraid. You’re afraid that you’ll be shunned by your friends, disowned by your family and burned at the stake at the next neighborhood barbecue. And I’m sorry you feel that way. The world is a scary place and there’s a lot of ignorance in the world. But know that you’re not alone. Know that while there is a lot of hate and negativity out there, also know that there is even more positive energy, love and acceptance, often in places that you wouldn’t expect to find it. We know that you didn’t *choose* to be gay, regardless of what others may say about that fact, and we know that you don’t have to live a certain lifestyle simply because you’re attracted to the same sex. Do what your heart tells you to do. Do what feels right to you. If you’re not ready to live your life “out loud” and admit to everyone and anyone that you are gay (I can just picture Billy Bob stopping Thelma the hairdresser on some rural street and saying “I like those queer boys!”) then just do one thing today, actually go ahead and do two things. Look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Look at yourself long and hard, reach for your true inner feelings, without any masks, without any fear, without any worries of reprisal. Then say it out loud. “Yes, I am gay.” Then follow it up with “And that’s o.k.”. It’s a baby step. But you’ll feel better for being honest with yourself. Allow yourself that dignity today.