Fun and Games Dept

I did not recognize the young lady behind the counter at Dunkin’ Donuts today. She appeared to be on her first or second day on the job; she seemed a little disoriented as to where important things like donuts and coffee were located. Because of this, I decided not harass her with a “why isn’t my tea waiting for me?” type of attitude. The prince can be reasonable.

The woman at the customer side of the counter, who was two people ahead of me in line, ordered nearly a dozen cups of coffee, all with differing sidearms. She seemed impatient and conversely very relaxed at the same time as she counted out pennies and nickels on the counter. After the cash portion of the transaction was completed she stood there at the counter. She didn’t head to the “pick up” area that is common in places like Dunkin’ Donuts, Tim Hortons and Starbucks. She planted herself right there in front of the register. Her roots went deep. She was shaped like a potato.

After all the differing cups of coffee were inefficiently assembled and distributed, the potato woman left and the balding woman in front of me (I notice things, what can I say) ordered her coffee and donut. She paid and then planted herself in front of the register. This slows down efficiencies by half, because the person that could be assembling the drinks is constantly reaching around the person that is taking the orders instead of working in her work area over near the pick-up window. The balding woman likes change as well. And since the customer is planted in front of the register, there’s that awkward moment where the cashier asks for the order of the next customer in line whilst screaming around the customer that is planted in front of the register, forcing the very dignified gentleman (that would be me) to yell his order and have his view obscured by a prominent bald spot on the back of the woman’s head.

I don’t mind bald people. I am proudly a bald person. But I do find it disconcerting to see a bald spot surrounded by the remnants of three different dye jobs in a woman’s hair and quite frankly, this type of balding is entirely too prominent in this part of the state. Someone needs a license revoked somewhere.

Now, I knew that when I got to the counter there would be mayhem because I am all wild and crazy and tend to pay for my order with the Dunkin’ Donuts app on my iPhone. When the overpriced iced tea came to $2.86, I showed the screen of my iPhone with the barcode prominently displayed.

The new cashier asked, “do I scan that?”.

Ok, I had a brief moment of “and then there’s Maude” and I was going to say something like, “Why don’t you call President Obama and ask him for the money?”, but that would have been extremely rude, especially to an employee on her first or second day. So instead, I simply said, “Yes, you scan it but after you press the MPAY button in the lower right hand corner of the screen.”

In another life I write cash register programs. In an alternate universe I am a secret spy that can easily memorize computer screens without even thinking twice about it.

She did as ordered and all was well.

“Thank you for your help”, she said sheepishly as I shuffled over to pick-up area, determined to get the precedent back to where it should be.

I like the newbie behind the counter. I hope to get her trained to have my unsweet tea ready and waiting.

So the blog has been silent for a few days and it is with good reason. Earl and I made the trek to Earl’s hometown to attend the memorial service of our brother-in-law. It was good to see the family as it has been way too long since we last saw them, however, we really need to get down there on happier occasions. It really pained me to see my in-laws grieving; I don’t do well with seeing others feel pain.

I wasn’t particularly close to my brother-in-law; we always had pleasant conversations but we didn’t have a lot in common. I could tell that he loved his family very much and that he seemed happy in the little niche of the world he had carved out for himself. As long as a person is happy that’s all that matters.

During the service, some thoughts that had been written by his wife were shared with the congregation. The words and the feelings that they conveyed were very moving as there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. That, and the military presentation, were the hardest things emotionally. However, there was one passage shared during the reading/eulogy that really, really affected me.

“No matter how upset or angry he was, he never yelled at me”. These were the words of my sister-in-law. I never knew that. I admire that. And I learned something from that.

My father always said my mother had a tendency to “bark back” due to the fact that she has red hair. I think I might have inherited that trait a little bit; I am often asked to stop hollering when I get passionate about something. There’s a chance that I might have a bit of a temper and to tell you the truth, that’s not something that I’m really proud of. I don’t know that I have ever accomplished anything by yelling a lot, but to be fair, years ago I worked in an environment where yelling was the only way you could get your point across. It’s still not something I’m proud of and it’s something that I really need to get a handle on. Yelling and cussing are two things that I find to be unnecessary and they’re two things that I need to stop doing.

So while the tears formed in my eyes during the memorial service on Friday night, I have to thank my brother-in-law for teaching me a little something through his actions as conveyed by his family. If I stop in mid-sentence during a passionate conversation, know that I’m taking a few deep breaths and trying to keep everything in check.

I guess we’re never too old to learn.

So I’m currently en route from RDU to DTW on Delta flight 4936. The flight attendants are Michael and Chrissy. They’re very friendly. And I’m in an even more sunny mood because the GoGo wifi service is a GoGo today!

Yay for iPads and being able to easily catch up on online happenings!

When GoGo works, the speeds are very impressive. This makes the plane geeks quite happy.

One of the reasons I look forward to flying on Delta is because their flights often offer WiFi via their GoGo service. I have used it before and it’s actually quite an impressive service.

When it works.

This is the second flight out of the last three that has had a broken WiFi connection. There are placards all over the plane exclaiming WiFi, but GoGo is a NoGo yet again. The flight attendants have also announced that the coffee maker is broken and that they forgot to put beer on the plane. Hot tea is also out because without a coffee maker you can’t have tea.

Now granted, these are all first world problems and there are many, many, many more horrible things in the world, such as the child that is bouncing up and down on the snack table that is attached to the back of my seat. Why there are two young children flying this late at night is a little behind my admittedly old-fashioned comprehension, but to have one of them bouncing themselves on the snack table is making me really wish someone had remembered to put the beer on the plane this evening. Especially since departure was delayed due to catering dragging their feet.

On the plus side, my economy comfort seat is quite nice with lots and lots of legroom in front me. It was worth the extra $40, especially since it comes with a vibrating chair that is now making wailing noises.

And I thought the child that communicated through random noises that sounded like “bip bip bip” the other night at Panera was bad.

I’m curious as to whether other gentle readers who fly Delta have the same issue with GoGo being a NoGo. Perhaps it should be “Went Went” because NoGo is just a little too obvious.

As a quick aside and mostly unrelated topic, I find it humorous that NCR calls their point of sale software “RealPOS”. When I see that, I see “real piece of shit”. Nice!

The child is now bouncing around at a higher velocity and apparently has a saggy diaper because the smells coming from the row behind me resemble something I smelled once in a conference room at work on Taco Day.

Perhaps the kid needs a taco.

“Are you sure you don’t have a beer? I’ll even drink something really warm”, the passenger pleaded.

Nothing.

My next flight will definitely be in first class. Even if we have to take a second mortgage on the house for the luxury. Hell, I’d even sell some of my swimmers to fund a first class trip.

Let someone else deal with the bouncing on the tray table.

So I’m on Delta flight 6163 en route to Detroit. Once there I must make a quick connection to Delta flight 5611, which will take me to Raleigh-Durham, where I am spending the weekend with friends doing creative endeavors.

Creativity is good.

I’ve mentioned before that I really love flying, and tonight is no exception to the rule. When we took off from Syracuse I had a big smile on my face because I could imagine all those times playing in the backyard at Grandma City’s house and watching the jets fly overhead as they made their way in or out of the airport. Flying over tonight I was able to spot that backyard with ease and it made me happy.

Looking out the window right now, we are over the southern tip of Ontario on the shores of Lake Erie.

Earl and I have been actively talking about our retirement years, though they’re still a ways off. We are going to live elsewhere someday, which makes me happy, and we’ve talked through the pros and cons of having a winter home and a summer home. Other than the beauty of our current home, I have little desire to stay where we are, though I wouldn’t mind if our summer location was in the Syracuse area. Of the Upstate New York cities, that’s the one I feel most comfortable in, and for obvious reasons. I’ve tried others on for size and they just don’t fit right. There’s something about the vibe of Syracuse that fits like a well-worn t-shirt, and I like that feeling.

Back in it’s day, Syracuse was known for the work ethic its citizens had. There are still elements of that in the Salt City but as with everything else in this day and age, times change. I still think Syracuse has a good future ahead of her, if she puts her mind to it, and I’d like to be around to see that future.

The other day Earl sent me a text message telling me he’s ready to go on an adventure driving across the New Mexican desert. If pressed to pick the winter location at this moment, it would have to be Albuquerque. We have been there a few times and I have always enjoyed the visits. I might have to take Earl up on his vacation suggestion and head out that way with the Jeep. Our next big Jeep adventure is to Wisconsin, Arkansas and all points in between, but it’s never too late to plan the trip after that.

We need to win the lottery.

If we did win the lottery, Syracuse would still be in my hopes for our winter location and we’d have more money to explore places like Albuquerque.

We have started descending. I should probably bring this documented daydream to a close.

So I’m at Panera this evening for supper. Earl is out of town on business until late tonight, Jamie off being a Cub photographer and quite frankly I didn’t feel like cooking tonight nor did I feel like sitting in a sit-down restaurant alone, so I decided on Panera. These are the types of actions that are packed to living here.

This Panera isn’t like others in surrounding cities; it was built in a shopping center in a long and narrow space. It doesn’t have the little nooks or cozy fireplaces or anything like that. At times it has the ambience of a school cafeteria except generally without the food fights. The high top tables that were here when the location was first built are long gone because people had a habit of falling of them and flailing in the walkway. I wish I was kidding about these things.

Just a few moments ago when I walked into Panera I noticed an older man and woman sitting and presumably enjoying a meal together. I locked eyes with the woman whilst I was walking by. In response she returned my gaze, stood up and pointed at me. I have no idea what was that was about as there were no words were exchanged. I cocked my eyebrow in a quizzical fashion (I feel very Spock-like when I do that, but not Dr. Spock-like, more Mr. Spock-like, because after all, I know little about babies outside of the fact that they’re small and sneeze things like popsicle juice.) I felt her eyes on me as I made my way to the cafeteria line but I never bothered to ask her why she was standing and pointing at me. Perhaps it had something to do with gay marriage. On the other hand, maybe one of my antennae was peeking out of my disguise or perhaps I left the lights on on the saucer that I had parallel parked between a Fiat and a beat up Buick.

In all reality, she stood and pointed at me because I am one fine look piece of human male. There’s really no denying it. The distinguished gray in the beard, while dressed to look stylish yet not too stuffy and carrying an assortment of Apple products, what person could resist me? I guess I’m fortunate that she didn’t rip my clothes off right there.

Coming to this Panera is always an adventure. I am thankful that no one in line ahead of me was asking for fries with their meal. I look forward to the day that I can sit down at a Panera without being recognized by the unknown masses.

Being a famous blogger is such hard work.

We have over three inches of snow on the ground now. Earl’s flight from Syracuse to Philadelphia has been canceled because they can’t determine if the plane has fuel or not so they have wisely chosen not to risk it. I am awaiting updates on his being rebooked for other updates.

So, to make the day feel that much brighter, we’ll enjoy the theme from The Love Boat. Notice Julie’s kicky hair style in this German version of the opening.

http://youtu.be/N3jpfOFW_QY

So today is the 1st of April. Folks on the internet are just yukking it up with their April Fools’ jokes and everyone else is suppose to laugh. It’s not a ha ha or ho ho laugh, it’s more like a bouncing jaw type laugh that’s kind of like one of the ghosts on Scooby-Doo before they’re shoved into the washing machine via the gang’s latest trap.

You can’t believe a word of news today. So far there have been stories about transparent iPhones, something called Google Nose, Kirk Cameron’s new TV series and some article about gay marriage threatening the sanctity of the tried and true institution that’s been around for millions of years. These pranksters, always a barrel of laughs.

Personally, I’m not a fan of April Fools’ Day. I don’t remember why we have such a hardy-har-har-har time on the 1st of April and quite frankly I’m too lazy and not really that invested in the subject to bother to Google it. It’s not that important to me, though I have to admit that if anything else was such a pain in my ass I’d go look it up so I guess I’m just lazy.

There have been a scant few good April Fools’ Day jokes, the best being when we told the employees of our restaurant that we had decided to close down the business the morning of 4/1/00. That was a hoot and there was no punchline! Nothing makes your jaw jump up and down like a good cry.

Years and years ago there was a radio station called KG104 that told the world that we had converted to metric time. They had ads running from sponsors and everything telling customers how to reprogram their VCRs for metric time. I thought that was kind of clever, but perhaps we did funny better in the early 90s. I mean, look at the laugh riot of “Saved By The Bell” and “Charles In Charge”.

So today, this first day of April, I sit here and stare at a computer screen trying to decipher what is real and what is not as I read through the various blogs.

Such a hoot.

Just stuff me in the washing machine and get it over with.

So last night while we were at Destiny USA we stopped at the Apple store. I spent a few moments lusting over my next computer, which is a 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display. Earl outlined the budgetary concerns with such a purchase and told me when I will be able to buy it. I can at least say, “at least there’s hope.”

But I digress from my original intent of this post.

During our last couple of visits to the Apple store we have looked at the Philips Hue Lighting “system” (for lack of a better word).

The Philips Hue Personal Wireless Lighting starter kit consists of a puck-sized controller that connects to your home network. This puck can control up to 50 LED light bulbs that have the ability to communicate with the puck. The puck communicates with your home network via an iPhone, iPad or Android app. You can also communicate with the light bulbs via the Hue webpage.

So what’s the deal? Well, these LED bulbs can be programmed to throw off any color you can imagine. The apps let you program “scenes”; press a button and it looks like sunset in your room. Press another button and it looks like you’re sitting in the beach. There’s millions of combinations and some that are suppose to give you a “therapeutic” light, such as lighting to urge better concentration or destress you before hitting the hay for the night. You can set an alarm and wake up to a simulated sunrise. It’s all quite nifty.

The starter kit comes with the aforementioned puck and three light bulbs. And it costs $200. Additional lightbulbs are $59.99.

Pricey!

However, remember that these are LED lightbulbs and they’re allegedly going to last a very, very long time. Regular LED lightbulbs at Lowe’s or Home Depot are in the $35-$45 range, so this isn’t completely out of whack but it’s definitely an expensive toy.

The system took less than three minutes to install. I have installed apps on my iPhone and iPad and on Earl’s iPhone. You don’t have to use your smartphone or whatnot to control the lights, turning the lights off and on with the switch make them behavior as expected, however, they “dim up” and “dim down” instead of just snapping on and off, which I think is wicked cool. If we want to use the simulated sunrise approach in the morning we have to leave the light switch on and turn them off via the app. I can handle that since I sleep with my phone anyway.

All in all it’s a nifty gadget albeit and expensive one. But I like it a lot and it was actually Earl’s suggestion that we get the lights.

If you’re in the neighborhood you’ll have to see our simulated disco in the bedroom. It’s a hoot!

We have lived in our house for nearly 10 years. Our kitchen has twice the amount of cupboard space as what we had in the old house. Still, we managed to find the need for just a little more space. There was a section of wall in the kitchen that was just begging for a baker’s rack or a small cabinet.

Thursday night we finally found what we were looking for. We found a 36-inch cabinet at the local Target, which could only mean one thing.

Some assembly required.

Earl and I spent our Easter morning assembling our new cabinet and getting it into place. Having been together for nearly 17 years, we’re pretty good at doing this sort of thing without killing each other, though I did ask Earl once if we were ever going to be rich enough to have a houseboy do this sort of thing for us. He said “yes, now get back to work.”

In the meanwhile, we are enjoying the new cabinet. We used all the parts and everything!