WW84.

OK, I really wanted to like this film. Being set in 1984 I was ready for some mid 1980s scenes and music and frivolity. I also hoped that since the movie was set in the 1980s there’d be some sort of nod to the Lynda Carter series. Something. Anything .

I have no idea why the movie was set in 1984. This could have been a 21st century film without any change to the story at all. The music wasn’t really 1980s music. There were a few legacy computers here and there (that have capabilities far beyond what the IBM PC actually had in 1984). There was some big hair. That’s it.

There are a couple of instances where Wonder Woman throws her tiara as a boomerang. Cool beans. Surprisingly there was no “schwaaaaaaaang” sound effect with the throws. Even in the cartoon adaptations of Wonder Woman the tiara throws make the same sound.

There are a lot of plot holes in the story. There are enough plot holes to make my husband stop the movie midstream and ask, “are there a lot of story issues because I never see plot holes but there are plot holes”.

As a pilot please don’t get me started on the fighter jet scene that was included in the trailers. The production team was being a little too clever with the invisible jet.

There’s a fight scene where Diana and Steve arrive with Diana in her street clothes and then suddenly she’s in her Wonder Woman “garb of justice”. This could have been the perfect opportunity for the classic Lynda Carter spin, or some derivatives like they’ve shown in the animated version. Nope. She apparently changed her clothes in a car.

I feel like Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal were both underused in their roles. They did the best with what they had. It could have been more.

The movie is long at over 2 1/2 hours. The pacing is very uneven.

My biggest struggle with the movie is, does the world know Diana Prince is Wonder Woman? People are calling her Diana even though she’s wearing her “garb of justice”. Yet, at least one character doesn’t know she’s Wonder Woman until it’s too late.

When the big, evil plan is reversed in true superhero fashion, do people still remember the results and chaos of the plan? It is not resolved and it’s handled poorly. Are the dead people still dead?

The CGI is all over the place. The physics behind Wonder Woman’s amazing feats ping pong between “suspension of disbelief” and “what the hell” periodically. There’s some “Justice League” quality CGI in this movie. That’s not a compliment.

My biggest thrill with the entire movie was the post-credits scene.

Reports say “Wonder Woman 1984” is considered a success and there will be third movie, probably in as many number of years knowing the way DC does these things. I don’t know where they’ll go with the story or mythology but I feel like it’ll be uneven. I saw a recent interview with Patty Jenkins and quite frankly she seemed a little full of herself. Was the first WW movie a fluke? Possibly. Gal Gadot, Kristen Wiig, and Pedro Pascal all did well with the material they had to work with. The pacing of the movie needed a lot of help, and the story had way too many kinks (not in a whips sort of way, though WW whips her lasso around for everything but getting the truth out of people lately). Oh, and what’s up with WW’s powers? Like, is she really flying or is she jumping, and how does one lasso a lightning bolt with a lasso that’s too short to take care of business on the ground?

I love Wonder Woman. And I wanted to love this movie. But I can’t. Let’s hope what the third movie coming along is better than this.

And give us the spin or a schwaaaaaaaaaang.