February 25, 2018


I’m going to start this blog entry off by admitting that I’m very drunk at this moment. Some people might gasp and say, “oh my god he’s drinking the nectar of Satan himself” but that fact of the matter is that I’ve had five very large servings of a Chicago brew this evening and quite frankly I don’t know how I’ve ended up in front of my computer. Earl takes good care of me. He makes sure that I’m never making a fool of myself. He also doesn’t know that I write blog entries under the intoxication of alcohol. If he knew I was writing this blog entry he’d hit the “delete” key. Ah ha! Apple has deemed the delete key an unimportant. There’s no delete key.

This is all raw.

Since I’ve maintained the same job while moving from Central New York to Chicago, and my job is based in my home office, we don’t have much of a chance to mingle with others from Chicagoland. Through mutual friends, Earl is the outgoing one from our pairing, we were invited to a bowling party with like minded folks. We bowled and I was awful! Grandma City thought I should be a professional bowler but I don’t have a clue about bowling. I was happy to be not the only one without a beard. I’m terrible at bowling and there were many laughs and we had a good time. Jamie practically grew up in a bowling alley and I’m envious of the spin he can put on a bowling bowl. Chris is punny and he is a delight. I am blessed with an incredible family all together. People don’t get it but I don’t care. Our family is our family and I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.

Did you know I am a pilot? I am buying an airplane. The new flying club likes to go fast. I fly low and slow. See the scenery. Do it old school Maybe I’m an old soul.

Earl and I chatted with strangers tonight that rapidly became friends. I’m like Raj on Big Bang Theory; I don’t let me guard down until I’ve had a beer or three. Have you noticed that Big Bang Theory has completely outstayed it’s welcome? Ad revenue and same old same old; Hollywood has become nauseatingly complacent.

Earl let’s me go wild with the alcohol once in a while and he makes sure that I don’t drive, don’t take the el and get home safely. I’m home safe. Stop worrying. He has the keys.

Blog entries were never meant to be journalism, they were meant to be raw feeling. You’re seeing me quite raw right now. Anyone trying to make money from their blog entries is a tool. Just stop. You’re not that important. It’s not journalism, it’s mediocrity with a bull horn at best. Put down the bullhorn. Life your life.

I’m sure drunk blog entries were the thing during the Geocities days but honestly, I’m old school. I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. My mother taught me how to type and I can do it without thinking. Best skill I’ve ever learned. If you’re going to bang on this typewriter you’re going to use the right fingers. That’s how to raise an eight year old. Shout out to Sandi.

I was remarking to a new found drinking buddy that walking Halstead (the muggles call it ‘Boystown’) at age 50 makes this Chicago transplant feel obsolete. There’s too much screaming and the bachelorette parties need to go away. If I wanted to look at boobs I’d pretend to be straight. There’s nothing wrong with boobs but they’re not my thing. There’s nothing obsolete about wanting to be a gay, upstanding citizen, devoid of wanting to shoot things. The second amendment is groovy but quite frankly too many people in the U.S. are turning the Second Amendment into a G-D religion. It’s not a religion. It’s a gun, and if a gun gives you a religious experience do us a favor and take a G-D viagra. Students at school shouldn’t have to pay for your penis envy.

I’m digressing. I write that sentence even better when I’m sober.

Thank god for autocorrect. By the way, Apple is crap since Steve Jobs died. Don’t let anyone fool you. It’s all marketing and it’s all crap. Apple is maintaining revenue and doing nothing to move technology along. They mean well but they don’t have a clue.

I need to end this blog entry now.

Sense of Direction.

I’m finding it more and more difficult to remain exclusively on the Apple ecosystem with my computing needs. Today I went for a drive between Chicago and Rockford, Illinois. I purposely took some backroads, made quite a few random turns to get a sense of the area and decided to head home after an hour or so of meandering. I asked Siri for directions home in Chicago.

She complied. Sort of.

She had me turning left and right through the farmland, trying to get me to a main road. I was watching the compass indicator in the Jeep all the while. I have a great sense of direction and I usually know what direction I’m headed in at any given time.

When I got to the intersection at the first numbered route, Siri said “Turn left onto Illinois Route 176 West.” At the time I was facing south. The compass in the Jeep confirmed that I was facing south. I know Chicago was to my east, or at the very least southeast, so heading west on a route wouldn’t have made sense. I turned left and saw a sign that said Illinois 176 East, even though Siri said turning left would have taken me west.

I figured she was just having a day and carried on.

“Turn right onto US Route 12 North”. Wait a minute. Heading east on Illinois 176, as confirmed by the signs I was passing, meant that if I turned right onto US 12 (no cloverleaf or anything) I would be turning south, or at the very least, southeast. I turned right onto US 12 and that it was signed East US 12, South Illinois 59. Nowhere was there a sign that said north, even though Siri said to turn right to turn north. Looking at the map, to get onto US 12 North (which was actually US 12 West and Illinois 59 North), I would have had to turn left.

This sort of frivolity continued for three more turns, where Siri told me to turn left or right in the proper direction but she didn’t know what the direction was, she was 180 degrees turned around. She was insisting that I basically head west to get to Chicago, even though she was pointing me eastward. I decided to play it safe and I turned off Apple Maps, moved it to my “unused” folder and fired up Google Maps in her place. Google Maps knew which way was what and successfully got me home in less time than predicted by Siri.

For all the premium money one pays for the “Apple experience”, I’m concerned with the rash of bugs that have been present in seemingly the majority of Apple’s software lately. Apple Maps has had a bad rap for several years, and I keep hoping that it’ll get up to speed with the rest of the world, but it just doesn’t make the grade.