The Iced Tea Robbery.

It’s a well known fact that I stop by the Dunkin’ Donuts closest to the workplace on a daily basis to pick up a large, unsweetened iced tea with lemon. The fine staff behind the counter are always pleasant and usually have my iced tea ready and waiting when I walk into the store. I like being served in this manner.

For the month of April, like every other Dunkin’ Donuts I have been to in the past year, they have charged $0.99 plus tax for this large unsweetened iced tea with lemon. There isn’t really much involved with making unsweetened iced tea; pour some hot water over tea bags, chill it to a non-hot temperature, add a lemon wedge and voila, it’s done.

Now that it is May, this particular Dunkin’ Donuts jacked the price back up to $2.69. The total for just an unsweetened iced tea with lemon today was $2.86 (including New York State Sales and Use Tax, otherwise known as legislated rape).

This does not make Daddy happy.

Now I like the folks that work at this Dunkin’ Donuts, so I didn’t get cranky about it, but when presented with the total for my large unsweetened iced tea with lemon ($2.86), I simply said, “every other Dunkin’ Donuts still charges $0.99 plus tax.” The pleasant girl responded with, “we know, but none of us know why we don’t.”

It’s because the franchise owner is a greedy bastard. I don’t care if my cup says “Men In Black 3!” on the side with matching straw, I don’t care if my tea was selected by scantily clad virgins that were dancing in the moonlight and then brewed with ambrosiac water that had been boiled by a volcano. The fact of the matter is, it’s tea leaves, add water, stir and voila.

Now, the McDonalds across the street offers any sized unsweetened iced tea with lemon for $0.99. The problem is, it’s handed out in a styrofoam cup (the gift that gives for generations) and let’s face it, you can’t trust anything that is claimed to be suitable consumption when it’s coming from a McDonalds. So I won’t do that.

I think I’m going to start bringing my own iced tea again and I’m going to skip my daily DD visit for a while. I’ll still go to every other Dunkin’ Donuts like I always do, but I’m crossing this one off the list.