January 25, 2012

Remember the first, second season episode of “The New Adventures of Wonder Woman” where Diana Prince returns to the United States in the 1970s? Jimmying her way into the IADC as an agent needs a little bit of covert work. One of her accomplishments is that she is able to gain access to the room that houses IRAC, the Information Retrieval Associative Computer. She does this by remembering the tones uttered by the security keypad as she is being given a tour of the facility. Without looking at the keypad, she is able to remember the musical sequence and press the buttons in the exact same order when she manages to get to the security door alone.

I do not possess this skill.

Like many technologically oriented business facilities, the building I work in is protected by various security measures, including our keycard work badges. We are required to wear our badges at all time and they are needed to gain access to the building. Because I work in one of the Network Operations Centers, we need our badge to gain entry through that door as well. Not everyone’s badge gains access to this inner part of the building, but my badge has been so blessed.

I left my badge sitting on the kitchen counter today.

I was not able to make the screeching noise that the keycard mechanism makes when it recognizes your badge. I don’t think the mechanism even works that way. I also confirmed that neither my body (nor my personality) is magnetic enough to make the keycard thingee do it’s thing without having my badge.

Forgetting my badge is just a symptom of my day, as I have forgotten a couple of things along the way today, including my hat and gloves. This has made for a chilly walk around the parking lot during our twice-a-day attempts at exercise during breaktime.

I have forgotten my badge once before in the nearly two years that I have worked in this building. It’s not a big deal; you smile and kid around with the person that holds the visitor badges for a moment and they’ll scold you a little and let you use one of those badges that day. I don’t mind that except that when I introduce myself I’m tempted to say that my name is Anonymous. The card reader doesn’t know who I am, it just knows that I’m a friendly visitor. The real problem with using the visitor badge is actually obtaining one. To do this, you kind of have to lurk around the entrance and then do a little shimmy to get in behind a co-worker who thoughtfully remembered their badge. I’d mention that it’s kind of a like a terrorist move to gain access to Fort Knox, but I don’t want people to think that I am a terrorist because I’m not. I just know how to shimmy in behind another person. I would never use my powers for evil.

Now if I could just figure out how to make that screeching sound.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad