“You’re doing it again.”
Wait a minute, I knew that voice. It’s been a little while since we had gone riding together on a bicycle and had a nice chat, but here it was the middle of January and I was hearing that voice again.
It was my body talking to my head again. I believe a waitress on the show “Alice” called her inner voice ‘Isabelle’, I don’t have a name for my inner voice. That’s just weird.
“You’re doing it again”, the voice persisted. “It’s the beginning of the year and you’re trying to negate a few extra pounds by being drastic.”
I finally relented and replied. “I’m doing no such thing.”
“Yes, you are. You haven’t used any of the quarters in your desk drawer to buy a diet pop this week and quite frankly I have taken notice. I want a diet pop RIGHT NOW”, the voice demanded.
“Think of the dead birds in Arkansas”, was my only reply.
“What does that have to do anything?”
“Well something made them drop out of the sky, perhaps they had a diet pop or something. That crap is only a molecule or two away from rat poison and quite frankly you’ll be happier when you don’t have that stuff clogging up the insides”. Distraction might work.
“I don’t think the birds in Arkansas drank a can of Diet Rite.”
“Well I’m not going to either.” Sometimes I have to put my foot down.
“How about a Baconator?” The question was simple.
I sighed. “Nope. I have this lovely, homemade turkey wrap and you know you love it.”
“I miss when we used to be able to say ‘I’m lovin’ It'”. He was referring to my McDonalds fascination a while back.
“You didn’t say that when we spent extra time on the toilet”, was my hasty reply.
I started eating the wrap when the voice chimed again. “Hey this is good!”
“See, I told you that you would like it.” You have to show them who’s boss.
“Let’s pretend it’s Friday and get a chocolate chip cookie at Dunkin’ Donuts,” the voice said excitedly.
“If we get a cookie today we won’t get one tomorrow,” I bargained.
“If you get a cookie today I’ll have more energy to finish the report that’s due”, he countered.
“Agreed, no pop.”
The cookie was delicious and the iced tea is giving me a little boost.
And they say that talking to yourself is crazy.