I was just standing in line at The World’s Greatest Subway(tm) where I heard a woman remark to her friend that it was very dark out this morning when her alarm went off. I refrained from making a comment and a spectacle, however, had I decided to verbalize the thoughts that starting circling in my head, I would have said this:

“It’s because we screw with the clocks and our heads, you idiot.”

You see, we are still in Daylight Saving Time here in the United States and will continue to be for the next three weeks or so. Isn’t that comforting? For the next three weeks we won’t see daylight on the east coast until after 0700. So while you’re trying to get your act together for the day, you get to stumble around in the dark and fumble for your keys and go out into a dark morning for your daily commute. You see, even though you’re turning on the lights and all that for a longer amount of time, the U.S. Government says that burning our lights longer is saving energy. That’s right, we are saving energy by illuminating darkness every morning. But don’t worry, at least everyone gets to still enjoy their outdoor activities after work. You know, before it gets dark at 1830 (6:30 p.m.). Enjoy your swim in Lake Ontario as you watch the beautiful sunset.

To say that I hate Daylight Saving Time gives it too much credit, because it would imply that I once loved it. I despise Daylight Saving Time with every fiber of my jet-lagged, lethargic being. Earl and I have been tossing around the idea of relocating a few miles to the west and I’m joyful because the clock will be .02 seconds closer to true time during DST.

Most humans are designed to awake with the dawn’s early light, not an hour before sunrise. So in the name of Old Glory, please stop trying to compete with nature and stop messing with the clocks.

I shall spend the next three weeks or so making like a zombie that has flown from Shanghai to Bangor with a 10 hour layover in Peoria. Twice. Please be kind.