November 15, 2005

It’s easy to tell that winter is just around the corner here in Upstate N.Y. Everyone’s driving skills have gone from “asshat” to “unbelievable asshat”. Now mind you, it’s not snowing or hailing or anything like that today. It’s raining. While not a torrential downpour, the rain is steady and does warrant some extra caution on the road.

That does not mean slowing down to 35 MPH in the middle of the freeway.

I find it remarkable that some people drive around in a light drizzle with their windshield wipers set to “hysterical”. There’s maybe 50 rain drops on their windshield and their wipers are whipping back and forth as if they’re trying to flag down a funnel cloud or something. It’s crazy. I have noticed that the bigger the vehicle, the more apt the wipers are to be hysterical, so maybe there’s a correlation between small genitalia and fast windshield wipers. After all, the bigger the car, the smaller the dick.

I am not a perfect driver by any stretch of the imagination. However, I am a confident driver. I know what I am capable of and I know what my car is capable of. Regardless of the vehicle I am driving, I consider it an extension of my own body and awareness. It’s not a difficult thing to do; just feel the road and be aware of your surroundings and you’ll be good to go.

And while I’m on a rant, I think the “lights on when windshield wipers are on” law is stupid. The government has no business trying to legislate common sense. However, turning your lights on when your windshield wipers are on is good sense, since its usually darker when its raining outside. If you have to squint to see your speedometer, it’s too dark to be running around with your lights off. If people would think for themselves, the government wouldn’t have to do it for them.

So drive carefully today, regardless of the weather. And more importantly, be confident and drive sensibly.