Trusting My Instincts.

To some this may sound crazy, but since I’ve changed jobs in the past month, I’ve felt much more “in tune” with my instinct. I like to think that I’m becoming psychic and I will soon be joining the ranks of Sylvia Browne and John Edward or, at the very least, make a killing with some poor, unsuspecting fools at the State Fair next year, but whatever the reason, I seem to be more sensitive to others feelings and little ‘hints’ from the universe.

Now if I would learn to read the signs better! Last night, Earl and I went to local Casino to drop off a chunk of change under the guise of entertainment. I really like going to the casino as I get caught up in all the fun and excitement… bells and chimes on fake-slot machines*, the spinning roulette tables, the visitors from New Jersey (why don’t they stay in Atlantic City) and of course the promise of walking out at the end of the night fanning myself with my millions.

I approached the evening with a new strategy. An avid roulette player, I usually go to the $10 table and plop my chips down on my usual numbers… my birthday, Earl’s birthday, our anniversary (obvious reasons), Earl’s mother Claire’s birthday (she’s passed on and she must be smiling on us as her numbers always win), and my mother’s birthday (I feel guilty if I don’t use her birthday). Last night I did it differently, putting a chip each on Claire’s birthday and then basically tossing the remaining chips on the board and letting them land where they land. Twenty minutes later, I was near broke. I started to feel a faint, warm, nervous feeling in my gut, so I tried to listen to whatever the universe was trying to tell me and did something different. For the last spin, I put three chips on Claire’s birthday and then tossed the remaining chips. Claire’s number hit. Up $105. Yay! Knowing a good thing, I cashed in and moved on.

Which brought me to the money wheel. Again, I played around with my $1 chips and built up my winning $20 or so. When I play the money wheel, I always play $2 per spin – one on the $1 (since it’s a 50-50 shot that’s going to win) and the $1 on something else, usually $20 but once in a while the joker. Then the I started feeling the nervous feeling in my gut again, the same psychic, instinctive “knowing” I had felt at the roulette table. So I took a chance again, and placed the $100 chip I had won on the $1 bill. After all, it was a 50-50 chance that $1 would hit and I could easily double my $100. Everyone else at the table gasped at my balls. That was a nice feeling.

The $1 hit and I doubled my $100. I was on a winning streak. I still felt my instincts, though the feeling was not as strong. I decided to leave the $200 on the table and hit the $1 again. After all, the universe helped me before. It worked the past two times. The feeling, though not as strong this time, was there. The dealer spun the wheel and landed on $1, then plopped over to $2, ever so slowly.

The psychic feeling, which I now recognize as just ‘subsiding’ or “no no no no no”, turned to a ‘sick feeling’. I blew $200 in one spin. Another gasp at the table, this was had a “you asshole” tone to it.

I walked away with $15.

Figuring I couldn’t be smacked by the fates again, I headed for a roulette table. I put the whole $15 (whoo – big spender) on 17, even though my head SCREAMED “double zero, double zero, double zero, double zero, double zero”. But Mr. Logic jumped in and said “Please note that this dealer hasn’t spun a double zero all night. There is no double zero on the results board.” Mr. Psychic continued to scream “double zero, double zero, double zero, double zero”. I went with “17”.

Double Zero came up. At least Mr. Psychic didn’t say “told you so”.

I walked out of the casino empty handed. Luckily Earl did very well and won back what I lost.

So tonight, when the moon is out, I’m going to do a meditation and ask for a little clarification on this newfound psychic / instinct thing I’ve got going on.

* Our local casino’s fake slot machines don’t use real coins. When the casino was built (the first in New York State), slot machines were illegal. They use ATM style cards that you put money on with a cashier in the casino. There’s no lever to pull and it’s all electronic. No mechanical wheels spinning. All video terminals. It’s all I used to play. I even hit the jackpot once. But being the geek that I am, I know how easily they can be manipulated and I lost easily on those.