I Fought The Law, And The Law Won.

Earl and I decided to kick off the Labor Day weekend with a trip to Buffalo and Niagara Falls. Having received my new Apple PowerMac G4 533 on Friday (much to my surprise), I wanted to visit the Apple store for some accessories, plus we thought we’d hit the newish casino on the American side of the falls.

After a costly visit to the Apple store, we headed up Interstate 190 to Niagara Falls. About two miles from the Canadian border, traffic came to a screeching halt. Even though we were staying on the American side of the falls, we needed to go to the very last exit on I-190 to get on Route 104 and head into downtown Niagara Falls. Anyways, after sitting in a traffic about 10 minutes, I watched an SUV behind me do a quick U-turn by crossing over the grassy median between the two roadways of the interstate. Since we were in the Jeep, I thought that would be a GREAT way to get out of the traffic jam and to find an alternate route.

The cop down the road from me didn’t agree.

Ms. SUV sped up and made a quick turn, leaving me with Mr. Friendly State Police. Strike 1. Long story short, I got a ticket for making an unlawful U-turn.

Later, after some gambling and a typical casino buffet, Earl and I hit the road home. As we were crossing over the first Grand Island bridge, I noticed that we were very low on gas. Not a problem, I’d simply get off at the next exit that indicated there were gas stations nearby. We exited at the next exit, which said there was gas, but simply dumped us in the middle of nowhere. I decided to follow my instincts and turned right onto a main drag looking side road, since turning left would have dumped us into the Niagara River. I cruised along at 45 (the posted speed) and headed towards a retail looking area. I noted the cop following me since we exited I-190 and made sure I maintained a speed of 45 MPH. As we got to the retail plazas, I started to turn into the first gas station, which I then noticed was boarded up (even though the street lights were on). So then I proceeded through an intersection and, not being familiar with the area, began to make a quick right into the next gas station. Without using my turn signal to change lanes.

Mr. Friendly Cop flipped on his lights instead. He was suspicious that I had exited I-190 in the middle of nowhere with an out of town vehicle. He was always not pleased with me crossing the white line without using my turn signals. And, apparently when I was horsing around with Earl right after we exited 190 (I was grabbing for his chest if you must know), I did a little swerve that apparently frightened a pedestrian. I didn’t even see a pedestrian. But Mr. Cop told me that it would have been a big mess if I had hit the pedestrian. Apparently Earl had seen her and later told me that she was quite large, but I wasn’t really that close to her.

He asked if I had been drinking and why I was driving around the island. I showed him my gas gauge (being near empty) and told him that I had followed the gas signs from I-190 and they led to nowhere. He ran our plates and my license and then sent me on my way, telling me to be careful.

The moral of the story? Go to the Apple store in Albany. And go to a casino far away from the Canadian border. And don’t hit the fat lady.