I just love this woman’s poster. Now there’s some creative thinking.
I found this on Michael’s blog.
Click.
Tonight at the gym I tried to watch a little television as I was chugging away on the spazzmaster, the stationary bike and the treadmill. I watched a little bit of Jeopardy. It became abundantly clear that there was not a single gay micron among the three contestants as they all had dumb looks in their face when presented with the category “Broadway Musicals”. I mean, is it really difficult to say “What is South Pacific?” when presented with the clue “Bloody Mary lived on an island in this musical.”
After I rolled my eyes at Jeopardy I tuned into the mind numbing “Television’s Most Outrageous Moments”. Now there was a waste of electrons, but it did keep my attention for the entire half hour. I was considering flipping around the dial a little bit but that chance of crossing paths with American Idol made it too risky.
After “Outrageous”, I decided to throw caution to the wind and tune into “American Idol”. Instantly I had the feeling that the audience, the contestants and the three judges were saying “Isn’t this thing over yet?”. Ryan Seacrest was saying “Look at me, look at me, look at me” but with nary a trace of his vocal high register lest we think he’s anything less than Village People butch.
I started flipping around the dial again when I stumbled upon Paula Abdul sobbing into her drink about how wonderful the mediocre puppet of the moment on stage was. That sent me over to “Hope and Faith”. Commercial break, let’s AI again. It took approximately 10 seconds of Kellie Pickler’s amazingly out-of-tune performance of “Unchained Melody” to make me decide to flip back to “Hope and Faith” and to keep it there.
Luckily, I then heard “Love Come Down” by Evelyn ‘Champagne’ King come on the gym stereo system and well, the earbuds came off because after all, “Love Come Down” trumps all.
As long as it’s not sung by an AI puppet.
Gloomy.
“April Showers Bring May Flowers.” That’s what we were taught early on in elementary school. I rarely paid attention to my kindergarten teacher, hence one of the many reasons she thought I was mentally retarded, but I do remember her croaking on and on about “In Like A Lion and Out Like A Lamb” and the April showers bit. I suspect these cutsey sayings are meant to divert one’s attention that the weather just basically sucks when it’s raining and we should be sing-songy about the whole ordeal.
With our vacation so close that I can taste it but really can’t touch it, I’m itchin’ to hit the road. But if the behavior I exhibited on my way home just now is any indication, this may be a bumpy ride.
I feel like ‘stupid’ has taken over, especially when it comes to manners and social graces. People talk on cell phones loudly and in the most ridiculous locations. Drivers ignore the basic rules of the road, creating a mini island of chaos in the middle of four lanes of pavement. Voters turn a blind eye to the issues gripping our nation and opt to vote against things like same-sex marriage because it smacks against their narrow minded beliefs of what love is.
Anyways, as I was driving home for lunch on the local expressway, I was passing a car in the right lane (which is correct) and came upon a woman going 50 MPH in the left hand lane. The speed limit is 65 MPH, by the way and surprisingly I was only going 65. So I sort of paced behind her a little bit, planning on passing her once she moved back into the right lane.
Silly me.
She did not move into the right lane. Instead she flapped her arms like some one-sided see-saw indicating that I should pass her on the right.
Uh, that’s illegal. And two wrongs do not make a right. So I continued to pace behind her. She flapped some more, undoubtedly making fart noises under her armpit all the while. I finally got sick of her flapping and just said “screw it” and passed her on the right. While doing so, I rolled my window down and extended my arm out so that she could clearly see that I was flipping her off with as much flip as I could muster.
Now, that’s not being very nice. I know that. And I shouldn’t spread more gloom, there’s enough to go around.
But she moved over to the right lane after I passed her. I guess she got the point.
Always A Kid. Super Geek.
I put my mind to the task today, threw caution to the wind and embraced Monday head-on with no worries, no regrets and bundles of energy.
Since I didn’t get a chance to audition for the Sci-Fi channel’s “Who Wants To Be A Superhero?”, I thought I’d just go ahead and feel like a superhero for a day.
For once I’m ready for Hallowe’en. Too bad it’s six months away.
Power Nap.
Adjusting back to a regular schedule is always a little difficult for me, especially on Mondays like today, when it’s a little gloomy outside and I’m working the 7 a.m. shift. But this morning I circumvented my morning crankiness by doing something a little different.
I took a 15 minute nap.
Ten minutes after getting out of bed.
I did quite a bit of web work last night until 11:30 or so before deciding I should get to sleep. I’m wired for nighttime and last night was no exception. I could have easily stayed up another three or four hours but I would have been nothing short of a mess today at work, so I decided I better get some sleep so I can at least feign productivity.
I really don’t like going to sleep when I’m not tired.
Nevertheless, I slept straight through the night, save for an incoherent discussion with Earl regarding the current time (this was around 3:30) and jolted away when the alarm rang at 5:30. When Tom hears that alarm ring, it becomes a no holds barred free-for-all, because as far as he’s concerned, I can hold it just a little longer and I don’t need to put any clothes on, he wants his kibble NOW. He barks more orders than an Army drill sergeant. So I went and blindly poured some cat food into his bowl, checked my e-mail and then decided I’d take a nap on the futon until 6:00.
I felt wonderful afterwards and the contentedness has carried with me throughout the day.
I think I’m going to start each sluggish day with a power nap. I highly recommend it.
To The Max.
One of my favorite television shows of all time is “Bewitched”. I’ve seen every episode of the classic series at least 20 times and can tell the difference between a complete episode, an early syndicated version, an 80s syndicated version or a TV Land edited version just by the flow of the scenes and the presence of key scripted lines. (Syndicated copies have lines and sometimes complete scenes edited out to make room for more commercials.)
As a Bewitched fanatic, I’ve done a lot of reading and collecting over the years of various Bewitched memorabilia. I hope to have the opportunity to visit the famous Stephens house on a Hollywood backlot in Burbank someday. I wish I had the opportunity to shake hands with Elizabeth Montgomery and the other players to thank them for their contribution to mainstream America.
It’s a fun show to watch.
While I’ve always been enchanted with the beautiful Elizabeth Montgomery, over the years I’ve come to appreciate the work ethic displayed by and later documented about the mysterious Agnes Moorehead. A character actor if there ever was one, Ms. Moorehead found no role too tough to tackle and she always put every ounce of her ability into the task, even if it was just a small part on “Love American Style”.
Her take on her craft was simple. “I love the illusion”, she would say with a big flamboyant wave of her arms. She believed that one should always work; be it good or bad, do it to the best of your ability and learn something from it and be a better person because of it.
I like to think that I’ve learned that myself over the years.
Tonight I watched a couple of episodes of Bewitched from the third season, “It’s Wishcraft” and “The Crone of Cawdor”, both stand-out episodes from a particularly strong time for the series. (Even at it’s worst, “Bewitched”, and most comedies of it’s time, far surpassed anything we see on television today). I couldn’t help but notice that Ms. Moorehead was always attentive and always playing Endora, even if she was in the background of a particular scene, far from the focus of the camera. She took her job seriously, she played it to the max and she did it well.
I think that’s a nice approach to have about work come tomorrow morning.
Rest in peace Elizabeth, Dick, Dick and Agnes. We miss you.
Get It Done.
The productivity continued today, but thankfully nothing in the house exploded, leaked or gave off an odd odor. Today’s fun was limited to catching up on laundry, doing some needed household shopping and basically getting things around the house in order.
We did get to the gym yesterday after taking the past couple of days off. I relied on the iPod instead of the television for distraction from the workout – for some reason I was totally inspired by Dolly Parton’s version of “Peace Train.” I had to rememeber not to sing out loud.
Home Improvement Explosion.
Today, Earl and I had planned on cleaning out the Jeep and getting ready for our trip out west next week, but our house decided to let us know that it wanted a little bit of attention.
Shortly after lunch, Earl was catching up on e-mail and I was working on web development stuff. We were just getting ready to head to the gym when we heard water. A lot of water. Spraying all over the place. Somewhere downstairs.
The washing machine had stopped running about 10 minutes prior to the new sound but the dishwasher was still chugging along doing it’s thing.
We both ran downstairs and found the hot water supply hose to the kitchen sink had broken. Hot water was spraying all over the kitchen. The tide was coming in, quick. I ran downstairs and turned off all the water in the house, since I couldn’t grab the hot water shut off valve under the sink without getting burned.
Earl thanked me by trying to flush a toilet.
We did what any sensible home owner would do. Instead of taking a half hour to replace the broken hose and getting on with our day, we went shopping at Home Depot.
Long story short, the new stainless steel faucet on the kitchen sink is beautiful, the new garbage disposer will help in a fabulous way with the clean-up after meals and the new Jenn-Air dishwasher arrives on Wednesday.
Quite frankly I was happy to throw out that old kitchen faucet the previous owners had put in when they built the house; it was quite stylish but the water came out in a trickle and it was entirely too pretty for my tastes.
I’m happy to say that we’ve both learned a lot in the past decade as we were able to work together as a well oiled team and we got the job done in about five hours. There was no swearing, no glaring and no launching of tools at the other member of the party. It was done calmly and rationally.
When the house speaks, we listen.
Twi Martoonis.
Earl and I met up with my sister last night for dinner and just a fun night out on the town. Our destination was my beloved Syracuse.
We went to The Bull and Bear Pub for dinner. It was our first time there. The food was great, the beer was great and the conversation was even better.
We then went for a walk and looked at that apartment building that Earl and I had discovered in January to see how the renovations were progressing. It’s not open yet, but it looks like there’s been progress, including a quaint little market at street level that looks like it belongs in a big city. I guess it fits reasonably well in Syracuse.
After our little walk we went back over to Hanover Square and tried out a martini bar called World Lounge and Martini Bar. I have to admit that was my first time in a ‘martini bar’. I went fu-fu and opted for a “chocolate martini”. Creamy.
I ended up having three.
I don’t know how Darrin, Darrin, Samantha, Endora and Larry and Louise Tate did it night after night and sometimes for lunch. I now have more respect for them.
I’m not a huge drinker. I like a beer or two during the week, but my martini experience has been limited to a sake martini at P F Changs about a year ago and one other “regular” martini at a chain restaurant that tasted more like it was unleaded. When I drink beer, I wake up after one, buzz after two and slur after three. When it comes to alcohol I’m a lightweight. I know my limits and I respect them and they respect me.
These three chocolate martinis were clever. They tasted like dessert, went down like chocolate milk and then snuck up from behind, hitting me with a buzz like no other. I was hit so hard by these drinks that I let Earl drive the Acura! Now that’s just plain fscked up. (just kidding).
So I downed the three martinis, Jenn had two of the same and Earl was drinking key-lime martinis. They both stayed relatively grounded while I crawled under the coffee table back at Jenn’s for a nap. Earl ended up driving home and I slept the entire ride and for about a half hours afterward because he couldn’t get me out of the car. That could be heresay though because I don’t remember anything after getting in the car and explaining to him how much I love the car and the fact that I love him and the two are about neck and neck so he better be careful.
I woke up 8 1/2 hours later. I feel very rested and without a hangover. I hope that doesn’t sneak up on me like the buzz did.
Good To The Last Drop.
For lunch today I had a small helping of pasta rigatoni. As I’m catching up on my daily blog reading and absent-mindedly eating my lunch, I suddenly realized that I was scraping the plastic bowl with my fork and toying with the idea of setting the fork down and licking the bowl.
Oh my goodness lunch was tasty today.
Earl and I are meeting my sister for supper tonight. I hope I remember not to lick the plates.
