Mustache Ghost.

I was enjoying my day off by walking through Eastview Mall in suburban Rochester, New York. I had just situated myself in the food court, armed with a diet soda and nothing more; I planned on people watching as an exercise in relaxation. Because I’m somewhat of a loner, all the tables around me were empty by my choosing, but I was still relatively close to the main traffic area of the busy food court and well within eyeshot of one of my favorite fast food joints, Tom Wahls.

A few minutes of peaceful bliss had passed when an elderly woman sat down at the table to my left. I smiled courteously but said nothing, hoping the sparkle in my eyes would convey the “hello” I was silently saying on the inside.

The woman, looking rather regal in her attire and confidence, smiled back and said “Hello.” I thought nothing more of it when she turned to me again and said, “That’s a very handsome mustache you have there.”

I have to admit that I thought quite the contrary, since I haven’t shaved since Friday, with this being my weekend and all, and while I was enjoying my drive, I had been absentmindedly been pulling at the left side of it, a terrible habit that Earl wishes I would drop quickly.

I responded, “Thank you ma’am, I appreciate that.”

She then said, “My husband had a mustache like yours. I don’t like those little Clark Gable mustaches, so he grew something big and bushy like yours. His turned white though, as he got older, but it started out auburn.”

I had noted that she had said “had one” when telling me about her husband’s mustache, so I asked, “Oh, did he shave it off?”

She responded, “No, he passed away several years ago.” She then added, “I wonder if he still has the mustache up there”, as she pointed towards the ceiling.

A tear formed in the corner of my eye as I responded, “I bet he does, and it’s back to its glorious auburn color.”

Since my male pride kicked in and I didn’t want to be seen in the mall food court with tears in my eyes, I finished up my diet pop and wished this kind woman, “Have a wonderful day, ma’am.”

I said it out loud this time.

5 September 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 2

It’s Not In Stock.

With Mother Nature not being very cooperative for this holiday, Earl and I decided to just relax and do stuff around the house today. One of the projects I embarked on was working in and on my music studio. I rearranged the layout of the equipment to make it a little more ergonomically friendly and made room for some gadgets that I’ve had my eye on for awhile.

After getting everything in it’s new place, I decided that I needed to replace my headphones. I’ve been using the same headphones from my radio days and they’re pretty much shot. I can’t complain as they’re almost 16 years old and have had a lot of use over the years, so they’ll always have a place in my studio, even if it’s just for nostalgia’s sake. But unfortunately the speakers just don’t sound right anymore with almost all of the bass gone and one side clunking around a bit when you move the set. So I went to the local Circuit City to take a look and see what they have. I found a sweet deal on a pair of Bose headphones that I’ve read great things about so I thought I’d get these and get back to being creative tonight.

Let me explain a few things about our local Circuit City. First of all, it’s at the only mall left here in the area. It was built in the mid 1990s. Even though it’s attached to the mall, there’s no entrance from the mall, only from the outside. So if you’re shopping in the mall, you have to go outside if you want to go to Circuit City.

Secondly, like all the other “big box” stores in this area, we get the “Barbie’s Dream House” version of Circuit City, being built to approximately 2/3 scale of a regular store found elsewhere. We have less of a selection to choose from in less space. It’s really quite convenient.

And last but not least, the fine folks at Circuit City felt that we didn’t really need the pesky retail feature known as “checkouts”, leaving us to maul any commission paid lackie wandering around the store and begging him/her to take us to one of three department kiosks to allow US to pay THEM for the items we’ve already selected.

Headphones and a USB hub in hand, I finally tracked down an associate so that I could pay and be on my way. I was told that it would be faster to go to the service desk to checkout. Something about a break and a statement that was punctuated with the snap some neon colored gum.

Ha!

After waiting for about 10 minutes and watching the lone cashier juggle several customers at once, my turn finally came. She scanned the headphones and then frowned at the computer screen as it made several beeping noises that did not sound friendly. She plunked a few keys on the keyboard and then looked at me.

“Uh, these aren’t in stock.”

I looked at her for a moment and said, “They’re in your hand, hence, they must be in stock.” I even smiled.

“The computer says we’re all out.”

“But you’re holding on to the set that I just picked up off the shelf.”

“Unfortunately I can’t sell these because they’re out of stock”, she responded, looking down at the headphones like it was a dead minnow or something. “It’s a computer thing.”

Getting ready to go ballistic but remarkably keeping my cool, I calmly said, dare I say almost whispered, “Since I’m ready to plunk down a sizeable chunk of change for a pair of headphones, is there a manager or something that can do an override?”

“I guess so”, she responded, irked because I was asking her to do something as crazy as sell me something.

After another seven minutes of more customer juggling, repeated phone calls and whatnot, I just left the store, empty handed, without saying another word. I had completely lost interest in buying the headphones and could not believe that I was actually arguing to give Circuit City our money.

I’m sticking to the Apple store from now on. Even if the closest one is 90 miles away.

4 September 2006 by Let's All Rant. 1

I Hate Grocery Shopping.

Earl announced this morning that it was time to embark on my second most disliked household chore. It was time to grocery shopping. I countered that we could probably put it off another day if he didn’t mind tomato soup made out of ketchup or spaghetti made with barbecue sauce but he said no, it was time to stock the cupboards.

At least I tried.

One of the reasons I dislike grocery shopping so much is because all the stores in this area have turned into these gigundous behemoths that are doing their best to resemble a warehouse. If I wanted to go a warehouse to shop, I’d head to BJ’s where we can buy everything in the outrageous size and not be able to fit it in the car, which results in having to hook the barrel of kitty litter up to the hitch on the Jeep and drag it home. That in itself is a pain in the ass so I avoid that place like the plague.

I’ve often raved about my beloved Wegmans, but they’re 50 miles away and after you get through the food court and the produce, it’s just as boring and tedious as the lesser markets.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to shop in a grocery store that doesn’t require bus service to get from produce to dairy. I know this sounds crazy, but I like to be able to see all four sides of the store. It’s not like there’s something promised somewhere over the rainbow as I gaze in search of the deli department; I already know that I’m going to find a surly deli clerk named Wilma who won’t serve me until my number pops up and then she’ll slice the turkey wrong.

And then we have this whole coffee and cell phone thing going on. Since when did grocery shopping require a cup of ridiculously expensive coffee in one hand and a cell phone, complete with annoying conversation, in the other? I once tracked a woman who was yakking on her cell phone and sipping her mocha chocha choo choo lite lite latte through the store. She whacked her cart into several people, bought food loaded with sodium and emblazened with promises of convenience, paid with an AmEx card in the 20 items or fewer/cash only lane and then went out to her SUV parked at an angle to avoid any dents in the doors.

Bitch.

Now I’m not looking for a grocery store like we went to when I was a kid; that was an old Mom and Pop store with a cashier named Ruth who’d been there for no less than 105 years. They couldn’t afford bags so they grabbed a discarded box from the storeroom and plunked your groceries in there. Meat was wrapped in paper and priced with a grease pencil. It was homey, but probably a little outdated for my tastes. No, I’m looking for a regular grocery store. Food. Dry Goods. That’s it. No pharmacy. No florist. No McDonalds. No televisions. No gimmicks. No coffee.

A few Green Stamps would be nice as well.

3 September 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 1

Some Things Never Change.

sweaty-dance.jpg

It was summer of 1983. I had just turned 15 years and I had bought myself a stereo for my birthday. It was a Yorx stereo system purchased from the local Ames. It was an all-inclusive unit including a radio tuner, an eight-track recording unit and a modern turntable that only played two speeds: 33 1/3 and 45 RPMs.

To properly christen said turntable, I had also picked up a 12-inch single at Gerber Music in the now long-gone Gerber Music. The single? “(Keep Feeling) Fascination” by The Human League. I couldn’t really get my mother to understand the concept of the 12-inch single, because it looked like an album but only had one track on each side. “But Mom, it’s a really cool version of the song! And it’s really long!” She finally gave in and gave me the money to pick up this ultra cool version of my favorite track at the time.

So I set up the stereo system and then the perfect night came along. Mom was at one of her civic club meetings, Jennifer was at her friends and Dad was flying his airplane. I cranked up the stereo and played The Human League loud and proud. And I sang and danced all around my bedroom like a crazy fool.

Fast forward 23 years.

Earl is at the casino and I’m at home messing around with my recording equipment. The weather is ominous and the mood is just right. I crank up my now favorite Human League track, “Heart Like A Wheel” and sing and dance around the bedroom like a crazy fool.

Some things never change. I guess I’m still a kid at heart. Hence, the very sweaty person you see in this picture.

2 September 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 0

It’s A Saturday Night…

Well here it is Saturday night in our merry little household. Tom is asleep at my feet. I noticed today that the fur around his ears has a new reddish tinge to it, obviously someone put a little too much hydrogen peroxide in his skunk cleaning solution (hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and dish detergent) and gave the cat a dye job. We’re the trendiest folks on the block. He smells much better these days, has highlights to match. Next thing you know he’ll be “soaking in it”, the dish detergent that is, just as Madge said for all those years.

I’ve been nothing short of a full blown geek today, working on some road related stuff for my road enthusiast website and designing new sign panels for suggestions to NYSDOT. They must love me. I wonder how that first interview will go after I’m a real traffic engineer. “Oh yes, we remember YOU. GET OUT PEASANT!” I hope it doesn’t go like that as I try to be quite constructive with my comments. Anyway, I’ve been doodling on Fireworks, here’s a sample:

combined-exit27a.gif

No big deal to the common motorist, but a vast improvement over the signs that currently stand at this location.

Earl is off to the local casino hopefully winning lots and lots of money. He’s been working on his poker strategy. I’m hoping that he’s having a good time. He is much more talented than I could ever dream of being when it comes to gambling. I think I feel too guilty when I lose and that impedes any strategy I might have.

The wind is blowing like crazy and it’s a cold wind. There’s a definite chill of autumn in the air tonight, courtesy of the remnants of Ernesto.

It’s going to be good sleeping weather tonight!

2 September 2006 by Geek 0

The Dignity of Labor.

Earl surprised me this afternoon by inviting me out to lunch, so I didn’t get a chance to follow my usual routine of flying home, gulping down some chow, checking out my favorite blogs and sharing something witty here.

I have to admit a nooner would have been quite nice but probably a little rude in the middle of the restaurant.

Nevertheless, our lunch date was quite enjoyable and a wonderful way to wind up the work week. Actually, the work week is going to keep going for me through Labor Day, as I am the anointed one at work this weekend and have the luxury of being on-call. Let’s see if Ernesto cooperates with the On Call Gods and decides to take a turn away from our area.

Since we’re going to be home all weekend, I think I’m going to work on a few household projects. I think I’m going to work my way up by starting in the basement and throwing out a ton of crap. If it’s still in the moving boxes from December 2003, I think it’s a candidate for getting sold or tossed. Once that’s complete, I have a green screen studio to build so I can get wild with the movie making. I have creative ideas floating around in my head that I’m just aching to share with the internet.

I’m also wondering if I should dare Mother Nature by prepping the garage for car storage this winter. It might be a little early in the season for that.

One thing I’m certain to avoid is excessive time on the computer. I don’t think I’m in the mood for it. There’s too much out there to enjoy and accomplish. Even if it’s close to home.

1 September 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 0

Hasta La Vista.

Last weekend I mentioned that I was giving the latest version of Microsoft Windows, Vista Ultimate, a spin on the lone PC in the house. I had found the newest offering to be “pretty” but a little confusing for the seasoned Windows power user. It also caused our Airport Extreme base station to lock up. Talk about not playing nice with others! I’d browse the internet a little bit and then I’d find that none of the computers in the house could communicate with the outside, nor with each other.

Hasta La Vista, Vista Ultimate.

I haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to do when I start school and have to run Windows based programs in the name of education, but for the time-being I’m back to Ubuntu Linux, and it’s running better than ever. I have it looking just as pretty as Vista Ultimate did. In fact, I think it looks even better.

If you want further information on what Ubuntu can do for you, drop me a line.

1 September 2006 by Geek 0

TGIF.

Happy Friday! The sun is shining here in Upstate New York, Mother Nature’s colors have taken on a very slight autumn hue and our friend Ernesto is making his way into the Mid-Atlantic States, promising to keep my on-call weekend very interesting.

I say “Bring it on, baby”.

I’ve amassed enough comp already this week to take Tuesday off, so I have something to look forward to. A nice roadgeek exploration trip to the western part of the state. Why? Because it’s there.

I’ll probably be quite chatty this weekend as we keep it to home base and do some work around the house, but I wanted to take a moment to say: Have an enjoyable and safe Labor Day weekend!

1 September 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 0

More Pastabilities.

So last night I talked about how I felt that pasta was inherently evil because while it’s quite delicious, it does pack pounds on if you don’t exercise enough to work off those extra carbs. So what did I have for lunch today? Leftover pasta.

The spot on the end of my nose is sauce from actually licking the bowl clean. And you think I’m kidding.

Earl and I have been sort of lax with the healthy eating over the past month or so. We haven’t gone crazy eating tons and tons of food, well, I guess we kind of have, but we’ve been able to keep the weight under control and the gain number divisible by 2. I don’t know if it’s important or not, but at least it keeps the audience guessing.

In addition to my current waltz with pasta, in the past year or so I’ve developed a huge fondness for beer. I’ve been sticking to the “lite” stuff – Michelob Ultra being the swill of choice, but I think any type of beer is going to make one gain a beer gut. It just takes a little more to do so when you’re chugging Michelob Ultra. I have a couple of theories about this, at least where my metabolism is concerned. First of all, we all know whatever is in beer adds more calories to your diet versus drinking a glass of water or iced tea. But here’s the kicker. Because I’m such a lightweight when it comes to beer, I usually eat a boatload of loaded fries or cheeze whiz nachos (with a sour cream chaser) and drink lots of beer (maybe two) before the main entree arrives. Then I drink more beer (maybe one) while I’m eating which promptly causes me to get silly and pass out immediately after eating (if you’re counting, after three beers). On the more fortunate nights I pass out after we’ve left the restaurant so that I’m not left lying on the table with my forehead in my apple pie a la mode. Earl then gets me situated in bed while I tell him how much I love him and then I don’t move for hours clocking in the double digits. This inactivity, added to the extra calories from the beer and the cheese whiz and other artery friendly delights results in extra poundage.

I’ve found the answer to all this. First of all, pasta is relegated to lunchtime and the portion is divided by two. (I really have a theory about this “divisible by two” routine, but I don’t know what it is.) That’s my serious approach to the issue.

I’m also considering drinking beer only while I ride my bike so that I can work off the extra calories. I’m just afraid I may end up face down in some random woman’s marigolds or something.

31 August 2006 by Food. 0

Pastabilities.

I don’t know how the Italians do it. I’m referring to their fine tradition of fine pasta. For some reason I’ve been on a pasta kick for the past week or so, indulging in some ziti and some linguini, all with Earl’s homemade sauce.

While quite tasty, it hasn’t been the healthiest approach to eating by any stretch of the imagination. And I’ve got the higher numbers on the scale to prove it. If the scale still worked. I may have drop kicked it one time too many this morning after ringing up a number I didn’t like.

I’ve only gained four pounds in the past week. But to me that’s a lot. Earl assures me it’s within the margin of error as far as the scale is concerned, but I don’t buy it. The scale is evil and therefore pasta is evil too.

When did pasta become evil? Growing up we had spaghetti at least once a week. And that’s not counting the cans of spaghetti-os I had as a kid. In the summertime we had limited choices for lunch: spaghetti-os, peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and mayonnaise. I occasionally opted for the latter, thrived on the pb and j from time to time and would eat spaghetti-os when it was raining.

Come to think of it, I had a pasta pot for a gut when I was a kid. Maybe I should have learned my lesson back then.

Earl is out for a business dinner tonight and then tomorrow night he’s out of town so he’ll have a full menu to choose from (undoubtedly complete with a server named ‘Dirk’.) Me? I get leftover ziti or a bowl of popcorn, unless I hit a take-out menu. My server is named Amana.

I think I’ll be popping my supper tomorrow night. So healthy.

30 August 2006 by Food. 0

About J.P.

Just a guy with a husband. We’ve been together 28 years and he still makes me see fireworks on a daily basis. Hiker. Storm Chaser. Private Pilot. Tech Guy. Hackerish.

Weird? Eccentric!

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