Life Is Such A Sweet Insanity.

So last night, during a fit of insomnia, I wrote a blog entry. I didn’t remember this until I was getting breakfast together and I saw my entry sitting on my laptop. Apparently I also did some work, because I scheduled a meeting for Monday morning involving several members of the team. Everything on the meeting request makes complete sense and it was something that I had intended to do anyway, but having actually done it but not remembering it until I actually saw the calendar entry was a little weird. It isn’t like I have some weird amnesia thing going on, but rather, I just remembered that I had done these things once I saw them, but didn’t remember them beforehand.

I remember being awakened around 2 last night and then falling asleep around 4 after reading a bit.

I’m a bit tired today, apparently since I was active last night, but for the most part the mood is pleasant and the day is good. I’m very happy that it is Friday. Earl and I have a date to watch “The Wizard Of Oz” tonight at home. I have promised him popcorn. We have altered our plans for the weekend and will be keeping it local. Sometimes a little rest and keeping it local keeps the positive energy in perpetual motion.

It is currently 3:54 a.m. in the Eastern Time Zone and I am wide awake. This is just lovely. I actually just did some work because I had some work things on my mind and I wanted to get them off my mind. I think I’m nuts.

I have noticed that when I am awake in the middle of the night and struggling with a bout of insomnia, I tend to write in a little more rambling style. This blog entry is an example of that. The words easily find their way to the keyboard after being formulated in my head, but it’s my brain that is thinking in more staccato terms.

I know why I’m awake right now. It’s because I fell asleep on the couch after supper. Earl likes “The X-Factor” and I sat down to get away from the computer and I promptly fell asleep. That was around 8:00 p.m. Possibly 8:30, so naturally, I woke up at 2:10 this morning and tossed and turned until coming down into my office and doing some work.

In reality, I need to get up in 94 minutes and get ready for the workday, because the work that I have done during this bout of insomnia doesn’t really count in the grand scheme of things. This kind of makes me sad, because I believe that outside of conference calls and meetings, I should be able to work whenever I feel the need to, as long as I am meeting my commitments and getting the things done that need to get done. It’s like a warring of paradigms; the old corporate rigidity that has been ingrained in many generations through the use of school “bell schedules” as children versus the more creative folks that think nothing of eating a roast beef dinner for breakfast, showering at 5:00 p.m. and doing their most creative, productive work when the rest of world is asleep per the schedule that has been dictated to them.

Such complexity in this increasingly complex world.

So it has been all over the news that Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce after 72 days or something like that. This is the “reality” television “celebrity” that spent millions of dollars for a ridiculously lavish wedding, received some sort of payment through her “reality” ventures for having the wedding and now she is getting a divorce. The fact that this is news is ill-making to me.

I am so glad that hate-based organizations such as the National Organization for Marriage is saving us from the terror of same-sex marriage, because the heterosexual folks are doing such a cracker jack job at maintaining the sanctity of it all. In reality (without the quotes), I wish these folks would find something better to do. Truth be known, like Kim Karadashian and people of her ilk, I wish these folks would just fade away back into their banal, mundane lives.

Before New York State legalized same-sex marriage I was only mildly interested in the topic. I was happy to see other states recognizing the rights of all of their citizens, and I hoped that New York would do the same thing, but there was a part of me that figured that since Earl and I had been together for 15 years and we were fully committed to staying that way until we passed on from this life, we didn’t really need the validation associated with marriage.

My gods, was I dead wrong on that.

I was playing Words With Friends with our friend Matt from Toronto the other day. He recently married his partner, Anthoney, in a ceremony in western Ontario. Words With Friends has a little chat feature built in and a simple message bubble popped up:

It feels different, doesn’t it.

You know what? I didn’t think it would feel different to be legally married but it does. It really does. There is a part of me that can’t believe that I am married. I am still floored when people at work, folks that I rarely talk to or know, come up to me and congratulate me when they hear the news on the grapevine, even in this small, rather conservative little town that I work in.

My day is a little bit brighter in the morning knowing that my in-laws are not just “in-laws” but they’re really in-laws. My existence has improved ten-fold knowing that I am legally married to the man that bounces around in the bed so much when he’s sleeping that I need a permanent supply of Dramamine. The fireworks are brighter, bigger and louder than ever before. I feel like a little kid again, discovering love all over for the first time. My world changed the moment I uttered the words “I do” in front of the wonderful group of family and friends that witnessed the moment. I still tear up when I picture the joy my sister had when she read her reading at the ceremony or I think of the words my brother-in-law Dave said in the toast at dinner.

The woman that conducted our ceremony, Emily VanLaeys, has said some beautiful things about our wedding ceremony and what she saw in the bond between the Earl and me. Many have said over the years that it’s obvious that we have a love that will last forever. Earl and I agreed to that long ago. And now we have the legal backing to prove it.

I get that there are folks that don’t understand why folks of the same gender would want to be married. These folks are most likely not gay or lesbian, so how would they know what it’s like to be attracted to the same sex? It’s when they try to convince people that something that they don’t understand is wrong is where I take issue. You shouldn’t try to legislate against something that you don’t understand. And you shouldn’t try to take away from the rest of the world that what you failed at or have never found. The world does not need another helping of bitter from these folks. Let’s celebrate happiness and help find those that haven’t found it, find it.

One of the wishes on my short list is that everyone can experience the love that Earl and I feel for one another, regardless of sexual orientation. A newer wish on the short list is that all those people get to feel the feeling of being legally married as I do today, regardless of their sexual orientation or where they are living. Someday, somehow, I know it’s going to happen. During the ceremony, Emily said, “the world is becoming a better place, one small step at a time.” I wish the steps were a little bigger and the destination was a little closer, but I’m going to do what I can to help make it happen.