Maps.

This morning that has been much rejoicing on the internet because Google Maps has returned to the iPhone. I have never really been a fan of GPS devices or GPS programs. I find people’s reliance on these devices to be somewhat disconcerting. During a conversation with a sales clerk several years ago, she mentioned that she had recently moved to the Syracuse area from Arizona. Curious, I asked which way she came across the country. Even more curious was her response, “I’m not sure, I just followed the GPS all the way, but I’m pretty sure I went through Idaho or maybe Oregon.”

Ok, then.

Even though I’m not a fan of the GPS devices (because I think that one should have the skills of map reading), we still use them from time to time to navigate where we need to go, especially when we are in an unfamiliar place. During our vacation last week we tried to use Apple Maps on Earl’s iPhone 4S to navigate from the rental car lot to Interstate 45. Siri announced that we should turn right, which would have taken us up an “Authorized Vehicles Only” road, through a chain link fence, across an active runway (as indicated by the Airbus that was landing), through another chain link fence and eventually onto Interstate 45.

I’m happy that I didn’t blindly follow the GPS directions.

All of that being said, I have to admit that Google Maps does a pretty spiffy job of providing navigational aid. I have never tried their public transit directions because we don’t really have public transit in Upstate New York, but I do like the clear, concise directions given when behind the wheel. I don’t find Ms. Google to be annoying and I’m happy that she is able to live within the confines of my ancient iPhone 4, a phone that Apple has deemed not worthy to house Siri.

I hear that the Google Maps experience on the iPhone now surpasses the experience on Google’s own Android OS devices. I find this interesting. I have found the experience on both platforms to be quite nice for GPS applications, so I have to say that I recommend anyone with an iPhone to download the app as soon as you can. Until Apple gets their crap together (and out of the airfield), we’ll just have to find our way courtesy of Google Maps.

PopChips.

2012-12-12 12.35.03-resized

So I was looking for something that was like a chip but didn’t come loaded with the calories and fat content of a chip or crisp. Since we won’t talk about that experiment with Olestra again, I decided to do some research in the local market and picked myself up a bag of PopChips. I decided to go with the Barbecue flavor for my initial outing.

Oh. My. God.

PopChips are like potato chips (or crisps) except that they’re cooked via hot air instead of being baked or fried. There’s hardly any fat in them and they’re only 100 calories per bag.

They are perfection with my lunch!

Since I always do things to extremes, I purchased a case of PopChips in a variety of flavors and had them delivered via Amazon. Earl doesn’t care for them that much (“don’t be finicky my husband, it’s PopChips!”) which is fine by me because that means they’ll be ready and waiting when I want them.

I mention them today because I thought that the case I bought had three flavors in it: Original, Barbecue and Sour Cream ‘n Onion. I was wrong. There are SIX flavors in this case and the back row includes: Cheddar Potato, Salt ‘n Pepper and Sea Salt and Vinegar.

Can I hear a “w00t!” Da hell with that can I hear an “Amen!”

I think the Amazon purchase has followed its natural progression to an Amazon subscription where I automatically get a case delivered once a month. How I love that subscription service. We just need to add a warehouse onto the back of the house to store all our goodies.

If you’re looking for a moderately healthy snack to satisfy that potato chip (or crisp) craving, I highly recommend PopChips.

Lights.

Earl and I have been together for over 1 1/2 decades. We have had joyous times, we’ve had sad times, we are there for each other, through thick and thin, for better or for worse and all of that stuff. We’ve been through two house purchases, built a business together, killed a business together and are able to finish each other’s sentences without an issue. However, there is one important part of our relationship that we struggle with.

We both think we know how to put lights on the Christmas tree. In fact, we each know how to do this. And the struggle is, the other one does it wrong.

This is one of the primary dangers of a marriage of two gay men. Those that dabble in the stereotypical aspects of the homosexual path have a certain eye or flair when it comes to things like decorating. There’s a really good chance that not just one but both members of the relationship have been the “designated one” for Christmas light installation whilst growing up. I know that I was the one that put up the Christmas lights outside every year. I rearranged them on a nightly basis after school. Every time my mother drove into town I asked her to pick up another 35-count set of “Merry Midget” lights. The meter on the electric pole by the driveway spun so hard the wires to the road quivered. I timed the blinking lights on the Christmas tree perfectly.

The issue is, Earl did the same thing growing up.

Imagine the conflict when we realized that while we both had the same goal with our festive lighting practices, we did it in completely opposite ways.

Earl starts at the top of tree. I start at the bottom, at the spot closest to the wall outlet.

Earl puts the tree topper on first. I shriek at such a thought.

Earl lights to use the last strand of lights to fill in random places throughout the tree that might be devoid of light. I maintain a symmetry of having the lights weave in and out in a parallel, yet suggestively random pattern.

You can just imagine the horror I felt back in 1996 when we went to decorate our first tree together and he put the star on the top first. The crabby woman that lived under our apartment had to bang on the ceiling with her cane because we were yelling so much.

I have learned to take a deep breath when it’s time for this annual practice but I refuse to give in completely. I claim ownership of the ladder and I’m not coming down until I am satisfied with the installation of the lights. As we grow older things have mellowed out a bit. What used to involve yelling and huffing and puffing has been reduced to an occasional glare and the sneaky practice of making sure the light strands remain parallel (please don’t tell him), despite his attempts to go all over the place with that last set of lights.

I did give in a little bit and ended the practice of having the Merry Midgets blink. No one accuse me of not having the holiday spirit, after all.

Abbr.

I like to think that this season of Good Tidings brings out the best in people. One would hope that people would always try to be their best, but every day is a different day and this time of the year is when we really hope that every day is a good day. With the warm greetings in the spirit of the holiday, one of the last things a person should worry about is whether their well-intended words are being offensive.

I’m talking about the phrase “Merry Christmas.”

Now, I’m not a religious man. To be quite honest, I’m thankful that a church doesn’t go up in flames when I walk into it. So these thoughts are not coming from a Christian point of view. They’re coming from a human point of view.

I bristle when I see “Christmas” abbreviated to “Xmas”. I have to say that I find “Xmas” to be indicative of one of two things: 1. the writer is exceedingly lazy or 2. the writer is placing his or her beliefs ahead of the sentiment that they’re trying to express by wishing someone a “Merry Xmas”. The sentiment they are conveying is secondary to their personal needs. A conditional tiding, if you will.

Now, not many people are going to agree with me on this. Some are going to cling to their non-religious ways and that’s perfectly fine. If you choose not to believe in anything other than the here and now, I am perfectly fine with that. Some are going to proclaim, “Jesus is the reason for the season!!”, which personally I don’t believe per se, but I do believe the spirit of Jesus Christ’s teachings are appropriate here. If you choose to believe that I am going straight to hell after I take my last breath, based on what you read in a book, well quite frankly I’m fine with that too. You believe what you believe and I believe what I believe and all is well in good. If your well wishes and holiday greetings are complete and coming from the heart, I don’t care if you choose to worship a dishwasher.

But conveying the spirit of the holidays through words, whether it be Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Joyous Solstice or whatever, in my opinion should be given completely, without abbreviations. If you don’t believe in the Christ part of Christmas, then wish others a Happy Holidays. If you find writing or typing the entire word to be time consuming or exhausting, give out a lukewarm handshake or a friendly pat on the head instead.

But please don’t abbreviate the spirit of the holidays. Lord knows we need all the good tidings we can get these days.

Grind.

So Earl and I are back to the work grind today after our vacation in Houston and New Orleans. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning and discovered that I maintained my own during our getaway and this was encouraging. I keep worrying about exercise and working right, but everything is still according to plan so I feel really good to go. Tonight we’ll be back to the gym for the first time in almost two weeks.

I am trying really hard to maintain the relaxed feeling I had over vacation during my day at work today. I had over 1000 emails awaiting my delete button when I started up my computer this morning and to keep it interesting, the folks in IT were kind enough to migrate my account to a new server (which we now outsource, apparently) and that process added to the merriment by including emails I had deleted way back to August, so the 1000 or so new emails had a few hundred others around to make the crowd of messages seem more lively.

All in all, though, the morning has been good and I’m getting done what needs to be done. I was happy to note that my iced tea was waiting for me at Dunkin’ Donuts just a few moments ago. It’s the little things that count.

After returning from vacation I always feel extra philosophical. It was back in 2004 or so that I raised my hands on Interstate 40 outside of Oklahoma City (we were in the Jeep and the top was off) and I yelled to the world that I was going to find a new job; two months later I was in a new job. I tend to reevaluate my life path after a vacation and today is no different. I’m pretty happy with where things are and it would be chilly to take the top off the Jeep in December so I don’t have any grand declarations to make. Overall life is good as we get back to the daily grind.

Let’s see if I can keep this kick backed attitude through the holidays.

Sassy.

So we are now sitting on flight 740 en route from New Orleans to Dulles in Washington, D.C. So far the flight is smooth, the company is good and more importantly, the flight attendants are sassy. Unfortunately I did not get the name of the flight attendant that has thus far kicked a lavatory maintenance panel shut for me. She’s very happy and upbeat about her job and quite frankly this is a good thing. More people should be like her, including me. A good attitude with a bit of sass is a great contribution to the world.

Earl is watching the television presentation but not listening to it. I see Mark Harmon and Jamie Lee Curtis. I’m sure that Jamie Lee is a nice woman in person, she seems a bit sassy herself, but just the sight of her makes my stomach rumble. The only yogurt available one morning at one of our hotels was Activia and by midday I was screaming obscenities on Interstate 10 somewhere in Louisiana. This was probably alarming for someone within a 1/2 mile of my scream, because that stuff that Jamie Lee Curtis pitches makes my tummy roll.

I’d rather talk about sass than ass, quite frankly.

The plane just slowed down considerably and it feels like we are descending already. We are not scheduled to land for another hour but someone said we are going to be 30 minutes early. This will make the hike between terminals less stressful.

MSY

So Earl and I are sitting at MSY, the New Orleans International Airport. Our flight isn’t until 5:36 p.m. Central, but we are here a few hours early because we needed to check out of the hotel and we didn’t want to feel rushed getting through security and the like.

This is Earl’s first experience with using Passbook on his iPhone for his mobile boarding pass. In an effort to show him how easy it was to do, I went first and promptly scanned his boarding pass from my phone, causing a considerable amount of confusion. Apparently the United app downloaded all boarding passes attached to my reservation instead of mine and I didn’t notice this. What a hoot! If you ever want to get thrown down by some women and men in the TSA, set off some alarms, make lights flash, having women gasp in horror and ultimately have a gun pointed at your head, just try scanning someone else’s boarding pass with your picture ID.

I jest.

The truth of the matter is, Loretta the TSA person who was very friendly put on her serious face when the boarding pass and the picture ID did not match. Really serious. Like “I’m gowna kick ya in the ass” serious. Once I bumbled my way through Passbook and found the right boarding pass and ultimately received a green light from the scanning machine, Loretta per her happy face back on and said, “Y’all have a good day.” After I apologized for the confusion she said, “no problem, dawling, I just couldn’t figure out how y’all got his boarding pass.”

“We’re married.”

She didn’t say anything after that, but a kind of surreal aspect of this whole incident is that George Segal, from “Just Shoot Me” and “Retired At 35”, watched the whole incident and chuckled. I smiled weakly in his direction.

The folks at the New Orleans International Airport are taking great pains to remodel their terminal area for the comfort of their passengers. The kicker of all this is that there’s not enough chairs in the dining area for all the people that want to dine. Luckily, I left Earl in charge of seating whilst I fetched the food. When I returned with our healthy choices I didn’t see anyone crying, so I knew I didn’t have to ask questions.

I haven’t blogged nearly as much as I planned to this vacation because Earl and I were busy having a good time. The weather in both Houston and New Orleans was absolutely gorgeous. This must be my first time ever traveling in December because hearing Christmas music blaring while looking at palm trees and enjoying 80 degree temperatures was messing with my head a little bit. The weather was quite enjoyable but it doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. That’s okay. Rumor has it that our home has been decorated festively. Something to look forward to when we arrive tonight.

Many of my updates have gone to Facebook, Twitter and Google+ this trip. I didn’t want to be one of those ones that falls victim to replacing a thought out blog entry with little bursts of prose through the microblogging services, but sometimes one needs to step away from long amounts of technology when they’re on vacation, especially when you use technology on a second by second basis both in your personal and professional existence.

Because Earl and I vacationed in both Houston and New Orleans, and because the vibes of the city are very different from each other, we feel like we have had two vacations in one and I’m very happy with the decision to do this. I’m not a partier like I used to be so Bourbon Street felt a little overwhelming at times, but for the most part my head is in a good place and I’m ready to tackle on the year-end tasks in my career and bring on 2013 (Mayan Prophecies willing, of course).

And to think we have one more day of this weekend before going back to work. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s only Saturday.

Friendly.

My grandparents on the country side of the family did a lot of traveling, especially during their retirement years. For the most part they confined their travels to the lower 48 states. Both often remarked that folks seemed “mean as hell” (as my grandfather put it) in Central New York.

I think that man was right.

I don’t know if it’s because the folks in Central New York have up to six months of snowy weather to look forward to each year or if the sun doesn’t shine enough or what, but whenever Earl and I travel elsewhere in the U.S. we always remark that people seem friendlier than they do at home. We are finding this to be very true here in the Houston area.

I just went for a walk around downtown because quite frankly, the confines of the hotel fitness center intimidates me a little bit. As I walked around at a brisk pace, about 80% of the folks nodded or said hello in my direction. People were smiling. People seemed relaxed. It feels like a friendly place here. I have to remember to let my guard down just a little bit so that I reciprocate the friendly gesture. It feels good to smile. I need to remember to do it more.

I think my country grandparents were right with their assessment of the friendliness of folks outside of our home territory. Perhaps I’ll bring some of the good nature home with me and try spreading around a bit and see if it makes a difference.

Houston, Texas.

So Earl and I landed at Houston Airport yesterday morning 45 minutes ahead of schedule. Since it was still morningtime, we couldn’t check into the hotel until 3:00 p.m., so we decided to head up to an area north of Houston called “The Woodlands”. This is a planned community that has a lot of retail and other stuff going on. We walked the mall (which was like most malls) and then went across the main street to what they call Market Street. This area had the same kind of vibe as Main Street of Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom; very clean and modern and not entirely what it seemed to be. Nevertheless, shopping was enjoyable and I picked up a few things needed for the trip. We also enjoyed a beverage at Starbucks with our online friend Jay. He was very nice in a person.

Last night Earl and I explored Downtown Houston a bit, which doesn’t really have a lot going on outside of banker’s hours, apparently. It was still enjoyable though, and we walked to the festivities near the convention center, where there were people ice skating (despite 75F weather) and beautiful holiday decorations that put me in the holiday spirit.

Holiday Spirit.

Today Earl and I drove to the Battleship TEXAS. The tour is self-guided so we checked out many of the nooks and crannies of this massive ship that saw action during both World War I and II.

Battleship TEXAS

From there we headed to the San Jacinto Monument, which is 12 feet taller than the Washington Monument. Built in 1936, I LOVED the architecture of this monument.

San Jacinto Monument from Battleship TEXAS

The elevator ride was acceptable because you could see the emergency stairs through a little window in the car, which assured that you were actually moving. I like knowing what’s going on.

After the visit to the battleship and the monument we headed down to the coast to the Kemah Boardwalk, where we had a delightful lunch and a nice walk and then we were on to Galveston, where we watched surfers play in the gulf.

It has been a most excellent, relaxing day. I’ve been chatting more about it on Facebook and Instagram, be sure to check out all the photos there.

Flight 4799.

Earl and I are en route to Cleveland, the one hop between home and Houston, our immediate vacation destination. Our flight attendant’s name is Myrna and she is very nice and professional.

I always tell Earl how much I love flying whenever we go anywhere. I don’t necessarily like most passengers, but I love being in a plane and soaring above the land. I find it to be relaxing.

I just said to Earl, “I miss my Dad”. It has been a year today that he crashed in his second home built airplane. He died doing what he loved and that is probably the best way to go. I find comfort in that. A lot has transpired over the past year and I have learned a lot about people as a result of my dad’s death. I miss telling him about our adventures and I miss his good nature. But I will always thank him for my love of flight, because its pretty awesome when you can soar above the Earth.

We should be in Cleveland in about an hour, so for now I’m going to sit back, relax and enjoy the flight.