I guess I didn’t realize folks traveling to Hawaii were being put into quarantine upon arrival. Apparently there’s talk of putting ankle bracelets on arriving tourists to track their movements to make sure they’re adhering to the quarantine.
My biggest question is, who is traveling to Hawaii during this pandemic? I am concerned about privacy rights and the constitutionality of this tracking practice, but still, who is traveling to Hawaii during this pandemic?
More and more displays of inspiration like these are appearing in windows throughout the neighborhood. When I’m walking first thing in the morning and the world feels off (because let’s face it, the world is ‘off’ right now), these messages bring a smile to my face.
I appreciate these efforts. I believe they’re important for our mental health. And I’d like to thank everyone that is taking the time to send out positive vibes.
I remember loving this song in the early 1980s but thinking folks would think I was gay if they knew I liked this music. Irrational thoughts at age 15, I guess.
From 1983 here’s “The S.O.S. Band” with “Just Be Good To Me”.
Last July my husband and I were sitting along side a beautiful pool in a gay resort in Palm Springs, California. We were relaxing and on a quick getaway from life. My husband had given his all to his career for decades and was able to retire at a fairly young age; I took up the mantle and continued the whole “power gay couple” vibe and continue to do so today, with a sprinkling of vacation time here and there.
We didn’t know anyone around us at the beautiful gay resort. It was gorgeous and so were most of the men in the pool. Conversation flowed freely. Some were clothed, some were not. I was drinking early in the day. I was intent on exploring new facets of my personality. INFJ is a result, not a label. Let’s explore what it really means. I do this from time to time. There’s nothing wrong with new discoveries. Push your boundaries! There’s a place to do it and a place to refrain.
As naked and barely clothed men swam in the pool, as the club music quietly presented itself from the pool side speakers, as we mused about our current affairs and where we are in this life, I suddenly bolted up from my lounge chair and made a declaration to my husband.
I’m going to write my autobiography and it will be called “Trip The Moment Fantastic”! The exclamation points were in my voice.
He asked, “What does that mean”?
I replied, “I have absolutely no idea but at this moment in time it makes perfect sense to me.”
I will turn 52 years old here in this mess we call 2020. I’ve had a couple of successful careers during my lifetime and if I must say so I’ve done some pretty awesome things. When it comes down to the lowest common denominator, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Nothing. As Sandy Duncan, while in her 40s, once said, “I’ve done some great things in my life. The rest of it is gravy”.
I like this gravy!
When I declared the title of my unwritten biography in my head I was in an altered state. As I write this right now my head is in a similarity constructed altered state. COVID-19, coronavirus, meteors, and all the other ills of the world: the fact of the matter is, I’m sitting in a beautiful condo on the north side of the third largest city in the United States. We moved here from a very red part of the country some folks call a “snowy Alabama”. The root of my upbringing is “Thank god I’m a country boy!”, my head is a middle of the road politico, not too liberal and not too conservative, and my heart is where I am right now: if someone gave me a test I’d be on something other than a rainbow spectrum, I love technology, people make me crazy, and I really want to fly an airplane. And I am hopelessly in love with my husband, so thankful for our chosen family, and grateful for my upbringing, my family, and my bloody relations.
If I sat down and wrote “Trip The Moment Fantastic” I’m certain no one would read it. While my life has been quite wonderful, I would have no dreams of it becoming Kardashian worthy. My life has been perfect for me but no chapter would make “Hard Copy”. So I write in a private journal, password protected from prying eyes, and no pieces will be shared until I’ve moved to whatever comes next. My husband knows how to share my musings after I’m long gone.
But the title rings beautifully for me. “Trip The Moment Fantastic”. Such beautiful words. Like the screen name “Machias”, which still rings as spectacularly as it did for me in 1990, “Trip The Moment Fantastic” rings as a reminder to me: enjoy the moment. It likes a loud, golden bell, ringing louder than anything Jaye P. Morgan smacked on a game show.
Enjoy life. Be Free. No one else has your point of view, make the absolutely best of it.
One of the main themes from the 1960s sitcom “I Dream of Jeannie” is Jeannie was a jealous wisp of smoke that could never really have her “master” the way she wanted her master. At least not until the ratings push for the fifth season rolled around. Astronaut Major Anthony Nelson would occasionally date other women, even though Jeannie lived in his house in a bottle on the hutch in the Kravitz’s living room, and this would make Jeannie jealous. She’d then blink and with a jump cut and a sound effect the object of her jealousy would become a porcelain statue or a dog or something. Boing plink, I’m jealous.
I’ve been married (in the relationship sense) for nearly 24 years. You know where jealousy comes from? From within. It’s a signal of a lack of self-confidence. No one can make you jealous. Jealous is your own thing. You’re feeling inadequate. You’re feeling insecure.
People have asked me how my husband and I have managed to stay together for nearly 24 years. Well, I’m going to share a secret with you. Back in 1996 when we decided we wanted to spend our lives together we decided the only exit plan was death. There were no other options. Divorce? Not an option. Separation? Not an option. Murder? Under extreme circumstances.
I find many men attractive. I find some women attractive too and quite frankly since 24 years ago we established “death” as the only exit plan for our relationship, I don’t hesitate to tell my husband if I find a guy cute. Years ago we were walking together in Crossgates Mall in Albany, N.Y. and apparently a man was eyeballing me on the escalator.
OK, let’s step out of the blog entry for a moment. I’m going to tell you something about me. I have never been able to pick up on these “clues”. I never know when someone is flirty. I never know when someone finds me attractive. I have no idea what the homosexual signals are for “let’s have sex!” in a Thruway Service Area.
I. Am. Clueless.
My husband has a keen sense of who is scoping out whom and he knows who’s having sex in the mall bathroom. He just knows. Even though I’m eight years younger than him and I came out of the closet years before he did, he knows who’s shagging whom in the stall number three and I’m just there to pee and wash my hands.
So we were on the escalator in Crossgates Mall in Albany, N.Y. near a department store called Cohoes and apparently this guy was checking me out. I didn’t have a clue but Earl, being the card carrying homosexual that he is, did have a clue and he whispered in my ear, “that guy is checking you out.”
Had it not been 1999 with dial up access there probably would have been a meme with two girls and a guy (no pizza place) on a street.
This type of scenario does not happen in our relationship because death is the only exit. Do not take the elevator, the building is not on fire, no one is leaving the auditorium.
Honestly, if everyone conducted their marital affairs the way we did, NBC afternoons would have never been populated by “The Doctors” and the other soap operas of the 1970s. Where would Mac and Rachel be? Would Iris be mean enough to spring herself into her own soap opera named “Texas”?
See, you really didn’t know that I was gay enough to know these things about NBC soap operas but it’s not a gay thing as much as it’s a freak thing.
So, when I find a guy attractive my husband is fully aware of it and there’s no harm done. When he finds a guy attractive I am really into it and there’s no harm done. What the secret to a successful marriage? Be confident in who you are, lay down some ground rules, and be yourself.
Just because you’re chained to the fence doesn’t mean you can’t bark at the cars.
I wonder what the American marriage success rate would look like if people were confident in themselves and their relationships. How much happier would society be if people just accepted the fact that human beings are like every other animal on the planet and will always admire the beauty around them.
I’m musing about this because last night we watched a first season episode of “Bewitched”. If you’ve never watched it in its original black and white glory you should do so. “Bewitched” was a much more adult show in its first season and we enjoyed an episode where Larry Tate ogled women and suspected Darrin of having an affair with a brunette woman that resembled Samantha’s cousin Serena (who wouldn’t make appearance until much later in the series). At one point Larry Tate thinks Darrin is having an affair with his wife Louise (played by the much better cast Irene Vernon).
Speaking of “Bewitched”, why weren’t people upset about the fact that Maurice and Endora had an open relationship? I think I’ll save that dialog for another blog entry.
The bottom line of this rounds of musings is this, be yourself and allow your spouse or significant other to do the same. Love is the strongest bond in the universe. Allow it to stand on its own and put all of your confidence in that bond. Have confidence in yourself and have confidence in your relationship.
I’ve been on a bit of a nostalgia kick. Last night Earl and I watched the first few episodes from the first season of “The Mothers-In-Law”. Honestly? It’s awful. While shows from the 1960s like “Bewitched” hold up fairly well, “The Mothers-In-Law” feels hopelessly out of date. One of the things we immediately noticed was the obviously stage trained actors of the main cast; television actors today don’t chew up the scenery nearly as much.
One show from that time period that was always fun to watch was “Laugh In”. Here’s a bit from their joke wall. I was surprised to learn today that Jo Ann Worley is still alive and kicking and as upbeat as ever.
My husband and I just finished our binging of Amazon Prime’s “Fleabag”. According to wikipedia, we have watched all 12 episodes of the series and no more are planned.
A comedy-drama with a helping of tragedy, “Fleabag” is based on the one woman show of Phoebe Waller-Bridge. I’m having a hard time writing a quick synopsis of the show because while we found it very compelling, the story is very multi-faceted. She is a café owner in London with a fairly dysfunctional family and has a knack of finding herself in dysfunctional relationships.
I think you just have to see it to get it. We thoroughly enjoyed the experience and were dismayed to see the two seasons are the only seasons we’ll ever see.
I’m ashamed to admit that I get a certain thrill out of “retail therapy”. You know the rush; you order something online, watch every step of the ordering process, right down to the finest of detail on UPS tracking. You check the “Deliveries” app on your phone over and over and over again, to the point you know within 30 seconds if the UPS driver has left your package down in the lobby of your building.
No? Just me?
I’ve been a proponent of making the iPad, and more specifically the iPad Pro, the main computing device of my technology experience. While it took me a few years to fall into this mindset, I’ve always loved the idea of moving away from a desktop or laptop computer experience and to something a little more like the PADD units they used on Star Trek from “The Next Generation” through “Enterprise”. (Don’t get me started on the latest series). The idea of having all of my computer power in a tablet or slate form factor, easily adaptable to any situation has always been compelling for me. I believe this is what Steve Jobs had in mind when he first came up with the iPad. It just took a few years to get there. I believe Apple got serious about the idea when they finally released the iPad Pro line.
I have a 2018 iPad Pro that I have been in love with since the first day I got it.
The thing is, as great as the iPad Pro is, it’s felt like it was only about 90% of the way there. The “Smart Keyboard Folio” Apple released with the iPad Pro works well but I’ve always found it a little lacking. The iPad bounced a bit as the case was a little too flimsy, and up until the latest version of iPadOS (13.4), Apple didn’t legitimately support mouse or trackpad use with the iPad. They wanted you to touch the screen. I wanted to touch the screen too, but there are times when I just want to use a touchpad or mouse with my tablet.
When Apple first announced their new “Magic Keyboard” for the iPad Pro I instantly knew they were filling the gap I had with my user experience. A trackpad and a full blown keyboard was just what this geek needed to embrace iPad living full-time. I made some noises of resistance for a couple of days but then decided, hey, since I’m not flying for the duration of this lockdown, I might as well use a little bit of that budget to buy myself this new Magic Keyboard. After all, it would complete my geek transition to using the iPad Pro full-time.
The Magic Keyboard arrived today. And it’s everything I hoped it would be.
My iPad Pro no longer feels flimsy when in an upright position. The iPad is solid and if I wish to use the touch interface that is native to the iPad experience, I no longer feel like I have to hold the back of the iPad to prevent the whole affair from falling over.
The keyboard is very nice. Ask my husband, I am very picky about keyboards but the Magic Keyboard has a great feel, a comfortable amount of travel and most importantly, it’s part of Apple’s return to “scissor” switches, instead of those awful butterfly switches found on their MacBook line for the latter half of the 2010s. (Though, to be fair, the keyboard on my husband’s 2018 MacBook Pro isn’t awful, though it was a little disconcerting when three keys stopped working for a bit due to one strand of cat hair on the keyboard).
Since the release of iPadOS 13.4 I’ve been using an older style Magic Trackpad to play around with mouse and trackpad support on the iPad. I’m impressed with the way the cursor is handled in this operating system. It shows itself only when it’s necessary and it’s a pleasant, translucent dot that lends itself to the touch interface traditionally found on the iPad. When hovering moving over buttons the buttons have a subtle action and the cursor snaps in place but still freely moves on if you’re intending the move elsewhere. When over text the cursor naturally moves to a text bar and like the round dot, in no way does it look out of place. I’m still getting used to the trackpad gestures; moving around with multitasking feels a little less intuitive than I’d like it to. For example, when I bring a slide over window to show two windows at once on the screen I’m still having a hard time flipping through the available applications for that window.
The Mac keyboard shortcuts works for the most part. The biggest gap I’ve noticed is the inability to close my current application and return to the home screen with a CMD-Q. This is something I do all day long on my work Mac, and not having the functionality work the same way on my iPad is a little weird. To “close” an app, you swipe up on the trackpad with four fingers.
I really like the way the iPad “floats” over the keyboard. I will admit I miss a top row of keys that would traditionally include the function keys and an Escape key. I never realized how many times I hit Escape during the day until I didn’t have that key to bang on. I suppose it’s revealing of my age and heavy use of console applications for much of my computing experience, but I instinctively hit the Escape to stop something happening on my computer. I don’t know if it does anything or if it’s just a comfort action on my part, but I’m finding myself looking for that key a lot. I miss it.
I have no doubt in the magnets holding my iPad Pro in place. They have firmly clamped onto my iPad and it feels much more stable than when I was using my Smart Keyboard Folio before this move. It does take a bit of effort to open the case up from a closed position, and the case is a little heavier than I expected it to be. But we all need to maintain a muscles, right? I am with comment but without complaint on that.
Overall, I’m very pleased with this bit of Retail Therapy and I look forward to using this case for many years to come. I’m hoping Apple with keep it compatible with future form factors of the iPad Pro, because it would be quite nice to be able to keep the keyboard and trackpad and just swap out the iPad Pro for a new one once in a while. I’m currently using a 2018 iPad Pro and it does not look out of place, even though the “hole” in the case is designed for the larger camera area on the 2020 model.
My only concern with the whole thing is the price. This new keyboard was quite expensive and I don’t see average users buying it anytime soon. I’m thinking I paid an early adopter premium with this purchase, but I’m so delighted with the quality of this bit of technology I am without complaint.
If you’re serious about using your iPad Pro as full time as you can, and you have the budget to make this purchase, you won’t regret it. I’ll continue to share my iPad Pro adventures here. My next big task is to start editing video imported from my GoPro and Garmin cameras here on my iPad Pro instead of relying on my MacBook Pro for the task.
I look forward to sharing the results of my efforts soon.
I’m clearly losing track of the days these days. At times it feels like time is standing still but then it’s midway through the week and I feel like I can’t catch my breath.
This whole virus thing has given us all the opportunity to catch up on our television viewing. I’m not the voracious viewer of television that I used to be; I feel like the quality of shows has gone down quite a bit over the last decade or so and much of today’s offerings have not been worthy of my time. But we’ve been flipping through the various streaming services we belong to and tonight we watched the third and fourth episodes of Apple TV+’s “Visible: Out On Television”.
I’ve cried a couple of times while watching the documentary; a lot of what is depicted hits close to home: remembering the friends lost during the AIDS crisis, protesting with ACT-UP when I lived in Boston, recounting the amount of progress made with LGBTQ+ characters on television even since my husband and I first met 24 years ago.
We started watching the documentary when the lockdown first began. The word “queer” is used a lot. LGBTQ+. There’s a reason it has evolved from the GLB days of when I first came out in the mid 1980s. I don’t remember when the letters were rearranged and augmented; but I especially don’t remember a lot of folks calling themselves queer back when I was a young gay. There’s a lot power in that word: Queer. I remember one of my grandmothers saying the phrase “queer boy” when I was young. She was referring to a waiter at a restaurant who sounded like the love child of Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly. I was called queer too often in high school. And while I have tried to ‘take back’ the word queer over the past couple of years, I’ve always struggled with the concept.
My steel trap memory betrays my desire to reclaim the power of the word “queer”.
When we first started watching the documentary I started thinking about the word queer again. At the time I was going to write a blog entry about it and I even went as far as to take an impromptu photo with the word “queer” and an arrow pointing to me in a selfie. I posted it on Instagram for a few seconds before I reconsidered my thoughts processes and deleted it. Did it not fit? Do I not consider myself queer?
I have always identified as gay. When I came out in college I had a hard time saying it, and it was my high school friend Scott who insisted I say that I was gay actually out loud when I told him. (“I like guys” had been my go to phrase). That step made me more comfortable with the whole gay identity thing. It was a big hurdle. But queer? It’s a whole different thing.
The thing is, if we want to use labels, I see ‘queer’ as a label for individuals of a younger generation. I just don’t see me as an over 50 years old queer man. I’m not gender fluid in any way. I’m quite comfortable with myself both inside and out. I’m well seasoned and I’m solid in my identity. Let’s face it, I would say I’m a Kinsey 5.99 when it comes to sexual attraction. (Hey, I’m a bargain!). I’m actually just a guy that has always liked guys and my pilot light burns a little brighter than most and once in a while it shoots off like a big ol’ fabulous flare.
Wow, no sexual connotation there!
The perceived negative energy around the word “queer” is slowly dissipating from my mind. I’ve come to realize that what queer means today is a lot different than what queer meant 30 years ago. But as part of my self-identity? Hmmm, it doesn’t quite fit. It’s not how I see myself. And that’s fine.
Just a guy with a husband. We’ve been together 28 years and he still makes me see fireworks on a daily basis. Hiker. Storm Chaser. Private Pilot. Tech Guy. Hackerish.
