Ponderings and Musings

Earl and I met up with Jamie and Chris for family movie night. We are striving to make this a weekly occurrence; we are aiming for Wednesday night to be the chosen night as this helps breaking up the routine of the work week. I love having our family together whenever we can.

Last week we got together, went out for a quick bite to eat and then sat down and watched “Call Me By Your Name”.

I knew nothing of the movie when we started watching it. By the end of the movie I was crying a bit. As a gay man in his very late 40s, I appreciated the movie’s backdrop of the 1980s and I especially enjoyed the coming of age story. While I’ve never had the opportunity to run through the fields of Italy at age 17, madly in love with an older man, there were elements of the love story that reminded me of my more innocent years. The movie’s music score was amazing; the cinematography was beautiful. I can see why the content of the movie would make some uncomfortable but the story felt very much at home for me. I identified with the spirit of the characters. I would watch the movie again without hesitation. As far as Oscar noms go, I enjoyed it more than “The Shape of Water”. That’s just me.

Tonight we watched “Lady Bird”. I was vaguely aware of this movie before the Oscars but after watching the awards this past weekend I told Earl that we needed to start watching more Oscar-worthy movies, and “Lady Bird” was close to the top of the list for me.

Another “coming of age” story of sorts, the character development of “Lady Bird” was quite good. Admittedly, I did have a little bit of an issue separating Laurie Metcalf’s character from her portrayal of Sheldon’s mother on “The Big Bang Theory” (I expected more god-fearing Christian talk coming out of her mouth) but following the senior year of Lady Bird was a little bit of an enlightening experience. The character was woven through her coming of age story with a heavy intricacy. The movie ended where I didn’t expect it to, and at first I felt like I was left hanging but then after a few moments of reflection I realized that it ended at the proper place in the narrative.

I’m purposely writing all of these things in a vague manner because I don’t want to go into spoiler territory.

“Lady Bird” had a different vibe from “Call Me By Your Name”, but both viewing experiences were enjoyable for me. I’m feeling the need to step away from the theatrical blockbusters, well, maybe except for the upcoming Infinity War and some of the things that Disney has coming out this year, but the indie and insightful movies are piquing my interest these days.

Everyone should have a family movie night.

So yesterday I started my 30 day challenge for the month of March. This month I am focusing on reading things that are really free or that I have paid for. I am trying to avoid sources that are supported by ad revenue, with a particular focus on any source that includes clickbait ads. Somewhat surprisingly, this includes news sources like CNN, which likes to supplement their clickbait ads with clickbait headlines. I mean, let’s be real, how many times can you use the term “Bomb Cyclone” when referring to a Nor’easter before it becomes just another storm in New York City.

A month or two ago I subscribed to Medium, a social blogging service that has both amateur and professional content creators and more importantly, contains absolutely no advertising. While the majority of content on Medium is quite good, there’s a relatively small amount of crap and that’s because people aren’t writing stupid things just to generate ad revenue. The Medium app has replaced the prime real estate on my iPhone and iPad home screens, supplanting Tweetbot to a back page. This has helped me find some sanity in the past 24 hours.

With the world the way it is today, we need all the sanity we can muster.

I’m pretty much myself on this blog. There’s a few blog entries that I’m not proud of, there’s a few that I don’t remember writing, but there’s a whole bunch of stuff here that paints a fairly accurate picture of my personality. It is my hope that if we met in public you’d find that I’m the same guy that you read about here on this little bit of insanity.

There’s a lot of people that strive to portray themselves a certain way through online means. They ramp up the fabulousness. This blog has been around long before the likes of the Facebook and the Twitters. I’m not one to ramp up my fabulousness because I don’t have a lot to ramp up. I like to think of myself as eccentric more than anything. I have my quirks but don’t we all.

I sometimes wonder if it’s weird that a man approaching his 40-10th birthday writes in a blog that sometimes reads like it should start with “Dear Diary…”. At least I don’t bore you with hearts over my “I”s.

If you feel so inclined, keep reading as long as I keep writing. You’ll know what’s going on in this swirling mess of controlled chaos I call reality.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m going to start this blog entry off by admitting that I’m very drunk at this moment. Some people might gasp and say, “oh my god he’s drinking the nectar of Satan himself” but that fact of the matter is that I’ve had five very large servings of a Chicago brew this evening and quite frankly I don’t know how I’ve ended up in front of my computer. Earl takes good care of me. He makes sure that I’m never making a fool of myself. He also doesn’t know that I write blog entries under the intoxication of alcohol. If he knew I was writing this blog entry he’d hit the “delete” key. Ah ha! Apple has deemed the delete key an unimportant. There’s no delete key.

This is all raw.

Since I’ve maintained the same job while moving from Central New York to Chicago, and my job is based in my home office, we don’t have much of a chance to mingle with others from Chicagoland. Through mutual friends, Earl is the outgoing one from our pairing, we were invited to a bowling party with like minded folks. We bowled and I was awful! Grandma City thought I should be a professional bowler but I don’t have a clue about bowling. I was happy to be not the only one without a beard. I’m terrible at bowling and there were many laughs and we had a good time. Jamie practically grew up in a bowling alley and I’m envious of the spin he can put on a bowling bowl. Chris is punny and he is a delight. I am blessed with an incredible family all together. People don’t get it but I don’t care. Our family is our family and I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.

Did you know I am a pilot? I am buying an airplane. The new flying club likes to go fast. I fly low and slow. See the scenery. Do it old school Maybe I’m an old soul.

Earl and I chatted with strangers tonight that rapidly became friends. I’m like Raj on Big Bang Theory; I don’t let me guard down until I’ve had a beer or three. Have you noticed that Big Bang Theory has completely outstayed it’s welcome? Ad revenue and same old same old; Hollywood has become nauseatingly complacent.

Earl let’s me go wild with the alcohol once in a while and he makes sure that I don’t drive, don’t take the el and get home safely. I’m home safe. Stop worrying. He has the keys.

Blog entries were never meant to be journalism, they were meant to be raw feeling. You’re seeing me quite raw right now. Anyone trying to make money from their blog entries is a tool. Just stop. You’re not that important. It’s not journalism, it’s mediocrity with a bull horn at best. Put down the bullhorn. Life your life.

I’m sure drunk blog entries were the thing during the Geocities days but honestly, I’m old school. I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. My mother taught me how to type and I can do it without thinking. Best skill I’ve ever learned. If you’re going to bang on this typewriter you’re going to use the right fingers. That’s how to raise an eight year old. Shout out to Sandi.

I was remarking to a new found drinking buddy that walking Halstead (the muggles call it ‘Boystown’) at age 50 makes this Chicago transplant feel obsolete. There’s too much screaming and the bachelorette parties need to go away. If I wanted to look at boobs I’d pretend to be straight. There’s nothing wrong with boobs but they’re not my thing. There’s nothing obsolete about wanting to be a gay, upstanding citizen, devoid of wanting to shoot things. The second amendment is groovy but quite frankly too many people in the U.S. are turning the Second Amendment into a G-D religion. It’s not a religion. It’s a gun, and if a gun gives you a religious experience do us a favor and take a G-D viagra. Students at school shouldn’t have to pay for your penis envy.

I’m digressing. I write that sentence even better when I’m sober.

Thank god for autocorrect. By the way, Apple is crap since Steve Jobs died. Don’t let anyone fool you. It’s all marketing and it’s all crap. Apple is maintaining revenue and doing nothing to move technology along. They mean well but they don’t have a clue.

I need to end this blog entry now.

Today is Presidents’ Day in some states of the United States. In some states it’s President’s Day, in others it’s Washington’s Birthday. Ironically, even though we live in the Land of Lincoln, today is Washington’s Birthday. The TV ads tell us we should buy a mattress because it’s Presidents Day.

What to do with that apostrophe?

When this holiday, whatever it’s called, rolls around in February I always fall out of step with the world around me. I don’t feel compelled to buy a car or a mattress. Today Facebook told me I should be buying Rosetta Stone language software so I can “speak like a President”.

In this day and age no one should aspire to speak like that idiot.

Today I took a moment to remember the Presidents I have experienced in 49 years on this planet. I remember everyone from Nixon onward, though my strongest Presidential memories start with Carter. We were served lots of peanuts in elementary school during his administration.

Remember when the President was presidential? Don’t let that memory fade and do something about it.

Olé!

There’s a lot of discussion these days about Facebook ads and Twitter ads and Russian bots and every other complication you can think of plaguing today’s U.S. society. So I’m proposing a solution to try to get a handle on this.

I still need a snappy name, but basically it’s a “U.S. Real Advertising Identification Law” (RAIL doesn’t really get headlines though).

Basically, it’d work like this:

• All advertising or promotion must be identified as an advertisement. The media in which the advertisement is delivered doesn’t matter. All advertisements must be “bordered” in some way: visual ads must be bordered with a red, unobstructed border around the entire ad and audio ads must be prefaced with “This is an advertisement” presented in a natural, non-time-compressed, unobscured, standard reading. The visual borders would be standardized regardless of advertiser. One standard shade of red. Black and white ads would used a “hashed” pattern border. The audio “borders” would use standardized language. It doesn’t matter if it’s a political ad, an ad for snack food, or an ad for the latest rage in pharmaceuticals. All ads: red border for visuals and an introductory line for audio ads.
• All advertising must identify the name of advertiser and the country of origin. These would be similar to the “Paid for by ..” tags on all political ads, but would be a requirement for EVERY ad appearing on ALL media. Any ad with an audio component would require this to be part of the spoken copy.
• All media outlets presenting advertising content must keep a record of every ad generated including the content, the company that purchased or requested the ad space, the country of origin for the party making the request, and the method of funding for the ad, including any barter or trade efforts and what was exchanged in these instances.
• These regulations would apply to every type of advertising found in the United States and any future type of advertising: television, radio, billboards, newspaper, and any ad found on the Internet. There would be no exemptions. Any content designed to promote anything would fall under these regulations.
• Any digital advertising intended for a U.S. audience, even if generated on servers on foreign soil, must adhere to these regulations.

These efforts would help curb this trend of online content providers trying to embed ads in their social media streams like just another post, much like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook do today. Any advertisement being disguised as a news source would be immediately identified.

I understand that much of what we see on the Internet is fueled by ad revenue. I’m not trying to impede these efforts, instead I’m trying to make sure there’s a very clear delineation between content and advertising.

Earl bought me flowers for Valentine’s Day. I find this simple arrangement quite beautiful; I think it looks great on the dining room buffet, but Earl is a little disappointed because it’s not the arrangement he ordered. He strives for his definition of perfection and when expectations are not met, he let’s the folks responsible for his displeasure know his feelings. There’s nothing wrong with this, in fact, I love him for it.

I still love this simple arrangement. I am going to enjoy watching it bloom and grow in front of our balcony windows this spring.

It’s the simple things that help me see fireworks on a daily basis. In my eyes there’s not much that happens outside of the realm of perfection in my life; I’m pretty easy to please and even though I’m quite opinionated and vocal on Twitter, I tend to find contentment fairly easily, at least when I’m not in a contemplative mood.

Tonight we met up with Jamie and Chris for Indian Food as a Valentine’s Day celebration. It was a lovely experience and I was very happy to be with the men I love. Blood relatives and chosen family: I have been lucky in all regards.

Now that is perfection.