Ponderings and Musings

It is snowing like crazy and I am happy to say that it’s about time. The wind is starting to pick up as well, which may make for some groovy winter driving conditions on the ride from work tonight. I am looking forward to the challenge.

Driving in this morning was interesting because when we got up this morning there had been no new snow, but by the time we left it was snowing pretty good. Locally maintained roads were awful but the Thruway was good for the amount of snow coming down. I saw a few drivers stop dead in their tracks on the Thruway, right in the driving lane. This is just stupid. I don’t know why they stopped, there were no visible hazards in the road but they would just randomly stop. One of the most infuriating things about driving in this weather is the general disregard of common sense and established traffic laws. Red lights still mean stop when it’s snowing. People still shouldn’t park three deep in a parking lot. Common sense dissipates when people are confronted with a challenge. That’s horrifying.

Gas prices went from 3.39 to 3.45 to 3.57 in two days. I’m so happy to hear how good the economy is doing. I’m also glad to hear that job creation is up because I will soon need a second gig to pay for commuting to the first.

I went to the local station to fill up the tank for ride home and when I went into the store I noticed that all milk and bread was gone. Eggs too.

Let’s have some french toast, I guess.

During a storm like this, most things don’t bother me but I find few things more terrifying than plates on a car from a former Confederate state trying to navigate the winter driving conditions up here. Heck, I miss the old New York plates that used to indicate the county because then you knew whom to avoid from the Big Apple. I couldn’t stand the weeping.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

We woke up this morning to moderately warm temperatures. I was surprised to see that it was 45 degrees when I left for work, but I really appreciated it. It made me realize that we are plodding along this winter thing pretty well.

I take Vitamin D on a daily basis to combat Seasonal Affectation Disorder but I still feel a little glum from time to time. My body needs sunshine. I don’t mind cold and snow on the ground but I just need to feel the warmth of the sun to get through it all.

I occasionally remark that spring is my least favorite of the seasons. I am usually referring to early spring where everything is sopping wet, the skies and gray and the weather is so changeable that you can go out in shorts but you have to bring a parka along just in case. I like the results that spring brings and I’m usually golden when I can see a field of dandelions but until then I find it kind of drab.

To celebrate the warm temperatures today I took my morning walk around the parking lot at work. This lifted my spirits considerably. I awoke feeling kind of blah about the day today because the husbear is off to Buffalo for a few days and we have the whole Valentine’s Day thing going on. Loved ones have remarked that I’m considerably off kilter when Earl is out of town and they are correct. Nevertheless we have to do what we have to do.

So as I look around whilst typing, I see the glimmer of sunshine off in the distance and I feel warm enough to roll down the window a bit. Tomorrow they see it’ll get to only 19F but then warm back up on Wednesday. Again with the changeability. I need the sunshine.

We might have to seek it this weekend.

It is a brilliantly sunny day in the Jtown and by this time next week I will hopefully be more motivated to share pictures of such beautiful days with you. Why?

Because I will have an iPhone again.

I should be wicked tired again but I’m not. I went to bed at a decent hour and without setting any alarms, I awoke at 0255 so I could pre-order my Verizon iPhone (it was available at 0300). Verizon was kind and had fired up the order site early so I placed my order, received a confirmation and went back to sleep.

Quite exciting.

Last year I was excited about my Droid and my options of things other than Apple, but then I realized that computing outside of Apple devices is work, and I must be getting old because I just want my stuff to work. Hence, my decision to return to the iPhone.

I could go on and on like the typical Apple fanboy that I really try not to be but instead I’ll just sit back and enjoy the rest of this lunch break in the sunshine.

It has been one of those weeks. You might think that I am about to write about how dreadful the week has been for me, but in all honesty, it has been a really good week. I hope this is a sign of how 2011 is going to be, now that we are nearly a month into this whole ’11 experience.

This morning as I was taking a shower, I found myself grinning. Granted, I still had a silly grin on my face from the dream (see previous post) that I had just woke up from, but I also found myself grinning because I was excited to be going to work. Perhaps the Vitamin D pills I’ve been taking (sunshine in a capsule, I guess) helped coax the inner smile out, but I am feeling a hell of a lot better at the end of this week versus the way I was feeling on Monday morning. It’s amazing what a few days and a few conversations with yourself can do. I ‘fessed up to some of my own personal hangups I have and I’m realizing that while I strive to live a healthy life (and I’m moderately successful at it, I suppose), I’m never going to have that lean, mean body builder body that I always thought I could have. Heck, I even had a little cub gut when I was still in my single digits, why I thought I could achieve something different at age 42 is beyond me.

At a holiday gathering not too long ago, one of my family members asked what I was doing for work these days. I still can’t believe when I tell someone what I do, because it’s something that I used to really want to do when I was a young teen geek. I write programs. I (along with a bunch of other very talented people) maintain network monitoring systems that give smart people the tools to monitor the dialtone for millions of people across the country. That’s wicked cool. I speak Unix. I speak Linux. I speak Solaris and I write in code (PHP and Perl, to be exact). I make data connect. I’ve come so far from the BASIC programs I wrote in the mid 1980s to where I am today and it’s something that I still can’t believe I do and actually get paid for it. When 5 p.m. arrived this afternoon, I could have stayed at my desk at least another two hours continuing on the project I was working on. Granted, it would have made the night seem rather short, but I could have easily stayed and worked and actually enjoyed it, until I realized how much I was missing my husbear and family.

I have been a lucky man for these 42 years. I have tried many things. I’ve been a radio personality, I’ve worked as a caregiver and I’ve been a geek in some capacity all of my life. Each step along the way, however curvy the road has been, has brought to me where I am today.

I would usually say that I am a lucky man, in fact, I just did in the previous paragraph. More importantly, I am a grateful man and I’m also a happy man.

It has been a good week.

 

I almost always remember at least one of my dreams on any given night. I have a dream journal that I write in from time to time, even if it’s a bullet list of the images or themes I encountered in the dreamscape that night. I occasionally find it amusing to go back and read these journal entries. I wouldn’t dare share them with others as I’m afraid I’d end up in some nut house making rag rugs with blunt scissors. I like to give the appearance of functioning in modern society.

My dreams alternate between wild, whimsical and theme-laden. Last night’s story seemed to feature a cross of all of this. In the dream I had continued with my radio career and had eventually made my way to where many celebrities of my age end up.

I was selected to be Richard Dawson’s replacement of “Family Feud”. Apparently I was skipping the hosts that have had the duties since Mr. Dawson, I was the chosen host and there was going to be much excitement.

One of the families on my first outing was a row of shirtless frat boys who were drinking a lot of beer. The other family was your usual Midwestern family with a ma, pa, kids and a grandma who needed to kiss me on the lips because that’s what Richard did.

We got into the mechanics of the game, which were pretty true to what we know on television and the sound effects were the old ones and the board flipped instead of being electronic. I was having a grand old time being host but towards the end of the game the grandma that had kissed me couldn’t figure out the buzzer so she wanted to arm wrestle with one of the bearded, shirtless frat boys. For this I apparently changed into a tux and read the question into the microphone and the grandma yelled out ‘beep beep beep’ and started arm wrestling the dude. This all seemed quite normal and I think I might have yelled out “Survey Says!” really loud because it was then that I woke up.

There is some symbolism in there that I’m still mulling over but for the most part I woke up with a big smile on my face. I had fun last night!

I think it’s time to change my aspirations and start watching Game Show Network again.

Oh, one curious thing: in my dreams I almost always have a full head of hair and just a mustache. I wonder if this is how my subconscious or soul or whatever sees me, kind of like the way Neo controlled the way he looked in “The Matrix”. Interesting.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

One of my goals for 2011 was to know my limits and then do what I can to expand them. For example, I have this irrational dislike for toothpicks. They friggin’ freak me out and if anyone near me is using one I feel inclined to go ballistic and do what I can to assure that said person will swallow the vile device. I realize that this is a limit of mine and while I still can’t tolerate the sight of a toothpick, I no longer feel the need to buy a pistol when I see one in use.

I have this thing about money. I find it fun to spend. With a big, hard shove from the husbear, I have garnered a huge disinterest in credit cards, mainly because I feel like our financial status is a huge game of Jenga and if I place a credit card anywhere on the stack someone is going to take their paw and knock the whole thing down, reducing my life to living in a mobile home* and eating ramen noodles with lots of butter and the water drained out.

While I refuse to go into any sort of credit crunch again, despite the urgings of our local bank, I do like shelling out cash as much as possible. I tip at Dunkin’ Donuts. I’d probably tip at McDonalds if they ever came back to the counter. I buy two of everything, including things like windshield washer fluid and antifreeze, because 2012 is just around the corner and lord knows we’ll need antifreeze during the big armageddon.

Like most Americans I enjoy spending money but I do it faster than I should. So I have resolved this little bugaboo of mine by setting limits via allowances. My wallet is crammed full of Dunkin’ Donuts rechargeable cards, Tim Hortons cards and the like. I put a weekly amount on the card and then I stick to it. When it’s empty, we are done until the next allowance. I’m thinking of instituting this approach for my iTunes music and app consumption as well because at times I can get a little haywire with that.

It’s not that I can’t control my spending, because I suppose I could if I tried, but doing it this way, with the whole allowance card system makes me think twice about what I’m buying and it hones my budgeting skills in some way.

For some reason I think this approach might work for calorie consumption, but Richard Simmons did that whole deal a meal thing a long time ago and in all truth, I don’t think deal a meal has a card for a Friday cookie from Dunkin’ Donuts that has been saved up for with careful planning throughout the week.

* no kvetching about mobile homes, because I grew up in one and in all honesty I’d live in one again if I needed to. Earl, on the other hand, would rather not think about it at all.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The other day I was thinking to myself that I have lucked out as I didn’t feel the mid-winter blogs blahs that usually make their debut sometime in January. Apparently this was some sort of jinxed thought because for the last couple of days I have been feeling those winter blahs.

It’s time to ramp up the Vitamin D.

I’m in the mood to ride my bike and feel the summer sun on my body. I’m in the mood to lay down on a field of dandelions and watch the clouds drift by. I want to swing on a tire swing that’s hanging off a sturdy tree with just a hint of that fresh country air scent that I love so much. I want the return of Amish pie day and I want to swim in a creek. Naked.

Yesterday it was just shy of 20 below (Fahrenheit) when we awoke but the sky was crystal clear and the sun was shining brightly. While I’m not going to go swimming naked in a creek in that kind of weather, the sun still warmed me from the inside out. This is good. Today it is 50 degrees warmer at 30 but it is drab, grey and slushy.

If I can’t have the hot, I’ll settle for the clear and cold.

There is a restaurant nearby that updates the number of days until spring on a daily basis. This little display gets me through these feelings of the winter blues.

In the meantime, I’ll hope for the cold and sunny and daydream about dandelions and tire swings.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

An undoubtedly random post again, the second one this week.

The husbear returned home last night and there was much rejoicing at The Manor. He works hard. He makes me proud. But when he’s away things are a little off kilter. I am surrounded by family and friends that make me smile, but the husbear is in a class all by himself. He is one of a select few that truly get me.

We were awakened by the sounds of a plow truck this morning. As the driveway was being cleaned out, it was noted that about 8 inches or so of snow fell last night. The commute this morning wasn’t horrible, but schools were canceled anyways. Parental litigation fears fuel this absurd approach to snow days. One of the local schools has used up their season of snow days already and it’s only mid January. They will be complaining when their spring break is taken away. When I was a kid we were tough. That’s what all the old people say.

Nevertheless, today has shaped up to be a gorgeous day. Let’s hope the picture I want to appear below actually does so.

A view from the Jeep in the parking lot at work.

I did a little research on calories and found that my Friday cookie treat is more than double the calories of a McDonalds hamburger. So today I went for the hamburger instead. Plus, there is less sugar content.

One would hope that a hamburger had less sugar than a chocolate chunk cookie, but with today’s food wizardry it’s hard to tell. Perhaps I should eat an apple or something. At least I had a vegetable in the form of catsup, as we were properly taught in the 80s.

The Jtown McDonalds is being revamped and no longer looks like a traditional McDonalds. I guess they’re replacing the rock ‘n roll theme with a more basic plywood and temporary food stand theme but I assume they have other plans for the finished product.

Today the workers raced to put the eyebrow on the rebuilt exterior of the building before the 25 MPH winds and several inches of snow returned, as predicted by the National Weather Service.

If the pictures appear as ordered in this entry I will be quite pleased. This iPad thing might catch on after all.

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

So I’m sitting in the Jeep at lunch watching the snow fall through a crystal clear windshield. There is a certain beauty in discovering that the windshield of your vehicle has been replaced whilst you were doing your thing in your cubicle. I no longer feel the need to wear safety goggles whilst driving. Pretty cool.

I attended a big company meeting today, along with many of my co-workers, and I feel energized. This is the first time in a long while where I have been completely happy with my employment. The people I work with are great, the company I work for seems to have it’s act together (in the organized chaos way I tend to enjoy), the hours are decent and the pay ain’t bad. As an added bonus, I’m doing what I have always wanted to do; be a paid geek.

My sightline is clear. My head is clear.

My future is bright.

This Ann Landers column from 1997 was recently shared with me at work. I thought it would be good to share with the class.

Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t find the time for. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge and replace it with some pleasant memories. Share a funny story with someone whose spirits are dragging. A good laugh can be very good medicine.

Vow not to make a promise you don’t think you can keep. Pay a debt. Give a soft answer. Free yourself of envy and malice. Encourage some youth to do his or her best. Share your experience and offer support. Young people need role models.

Make a genuine effort to stay in closer touch with family and friends. Stop magnifying small problems and shooting from the lip. Words that you have to eat can be hard to digest.

Find the time to be kind and thoughtful. All of us have the same allotment: 24 hours a day. Give a compliment. It might give someone a badly needed lift.

Think things through. Forgive an injustice. Listen more. Be kind. Apologize when you realize you are wrong. An apology never diminishes a person. It elevates him. Don’t blow your own horn. If you’ve done something praiseworthy, someone will notice eventually.

Try to understand a point of view that differs from yours. Little is all one way or another. Examine demands you make on others.

Lighten up. When you feel like blowing your top, ask yourself, “Will it matter a week from today?” Laugh the loudest when the joke is on you. The sure way to have a friend is to be one. We are all connected by your humanity, and we need each other. Avoid malcontents and pessimists. They drag you down and contribute nothing.

Don’t discourage a beginner from trying something risky. Nothing ventured means nothing gained. Be optimistic. The can-do spirit is the fuel that makes things go.

Go to war against animosity and complacency. Express your gratitude. Give credit when it’s due – and even when it isn’t. It will make you look good. Read something uplifting. Deep-six the trash. You wouldn’t eat garbage, why put it in your head? Don’t abandon your old-fashioned principles. They never go out of style. When courage is needed, ask yourself, “If not me, who? If not now, when?”

Take better care of yourself. Remember, you’re all you’ve got. Pass up that second helping. You really don’t need it. Vow to eat more sensibly. You’ll feel better and look better, too. Don’t put up with secondhand smoke. Nobody has the right to pollute your air or give you cancer. If someone says, “This is a free country,” remind him or her that the country may be free but no person is free if he has a habit he can’t control.

Return those books you borrowed. Reschedule that missed dental appointment. Clean out your closet. Take those photos out of the drawer and put them in an album. If you see litter on the sidewalk, pick it up. Give yourself a reality check. Phoniness is transparent and tiresome. Take pleasure in the beauty and the wonders of nature.

Walk tall and smile more. You’ll look 10 years younger. Don’t be afraid to say “I love you.” Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world. If you have love in your life, it can be the best year ever.