Ponderings and Musings

The other day, when I wasn’t feeling well and was trying to get my bearings back while lying in bed, I watched the original EPCOT video as narrated by Walt Disney in 1966.

I had never seen the video in its entirety but I had seen some snippets in the Walt Disney exhibit at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. I found watching the entire video to be quite fascinating as I have a very strong admiration for Walt Disney’s ability to foresee “a future”. While there are elements of the original vision in the Epcot we know today, EPCOT was to be a planned city, designed to very detailed specifications. Cars and other motor traffic would have been pushed to parameters and underground. Innovative public transportation would have been the norm; the People Mover at Magic Kingdom and the Monorail would have been key in moving the folks at EPCOT about the city.

As an almost Civil Engineer, I am thoroughly fascinated by the hub and spoke concept, especially as it was depicted in such a geometric design. Automobiles would not have encountered traffic lights as the design of the roadways would have incorporated roundabouts and non-conflicting intersections.

I love the idea of more people walking and less people driving. The only thing that I didn’t really agree with was the climate controlled aspect; I’m a sucker for fresh air.

I think Walt had some great ideas with this original concept of EPCOT and it’s unfortunate that more of our urban renewal projects in the United States don’t share his vision. A lot of what we do seems to be patch up jobs or addendum so to existing city layouts. Wouldn’t it be something if folks got together and built a new city from the ground up today?

The only thing that comes to mind as being remotely close to Walt’s vision is the “Spaceship” being built on the Apple Campus in California. I am anxious to visit that someday. I think we need a lot more in the way of forward thinking people in the world.

When we visit Disneyworld I’ll often comment that Epcot is my favorite of the theme parks. While it isn’t what Walt originally intended, I do like the awareness, educational and social components of the theme park. I feel like while all of Disneyworld is designed for families to have fun and to lose themselves in their vacation, Epcot has the added bonus of bringing just a touch of education to the experience.

It’s not the same as living in a well designed, ultra-high tech city, but at least it’s a start.

I have lost six pounds since Saturday. I wish I could say the weight loss is due to hard work, careful eating and determination, but the reality is I’ve had some sort of issue with my stomach that made me curse any food whatsoever. Quite frankly it had been over 20 years since I had last vomited, but my this weekend through last night has confirmed all of my plumbing designed for that purpose works just fine.

Earl was kind enough to hold back my hair Sunday morning during one of my spells. Actually, since I have no hair, he just kept a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I have no fever, no chills or any feeling of malaise other than the unsettled stomach and the food exiting my body from various orifices at an alarming rate, so I ruled out any sort of flu or anything of the sort. I feel fine other than the queasiness, which has subsided considerably in the last 12-14 hours. Unfortunately, Earl is now showing the same symptoms as of last night. He stayed home from work today, a rarity for him, and I am doing my best to take care of him while still fighting an occasional queasy stomach and working from my home office.

Getting sick in the manner has helped me reevaluate my eating habits and health in general and I’ve made a couple of adjustments to my diet. Contrary to my tendency to make broad, sweeping changes to my life, I’ve committed to give up a couple of things through the end of April in an effort to make it a habit. I’ll reevaluate how I feel at the end of the month and go from there. Small changes make a bigger difference, especially when they stick as intended.

I really wish I could figure out where this ailment came from but I guess it will remain a mystery for the time being. In the meanwhile, I hope Earl doesn’t suffer with it as long as I did. Even 48 to 72 hours is much too long.

Twenty years ago today Earl and I had our first official date. Much of our time together was spent driving through the mountains of Vermont in my little cherry-red 1994 Hyundai Excel. During that ride I knew that I was sitting next to someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, no further questions needed. We shared secrets, we got to know each other a little bit and about halfway through the ride, Earl felt comfortable enough to put his hand on my knee for the very first time. I can still remember the happy tingles that shot up through my body like it happened only yesterday.

We are both a couple of decades older, the Hyundai Excel is long gone and we still enjoy trips through Vermont from time to time. The most important outcome of that day, 20 years ago, is that I began the journey with the man that I knew was my soul mate. No questions asked, no hesitation necessary.

It was just meant to be.

The mall management companies in our neck of the woods have spent the past several years removing the water features and other nature related scenery from our shopping malls. The majority of this ambience has been replaced with IKEA like furniture and carpeting all arranged at a jaunty angle.

They’re missing the boat.

While in Greenville, S.C. for work I stay at the Hyatt Regency in Downtown Greenville. Like many other Hyatt hotels, there’s quite a bit in the way of waterfalls, multi-level landings, glass walls, plants, trees and other environmentally suggestive bric-a-brac around the place.

I find the effect to be quite pleasant.

One of the hardest things about living in Upstate New York (other than the urban decay, taxes, fleeing industrial ventures and stifling government) is the weather. The malls of the 1970s and 1980s had an atmosphere that made you want to be inside because it reminded you of that pleasant outdoor feeling. Fountains. Trees. Mulch. You can’t find that in the middle of December in the Lake Ontario Snowbelt but you certainly could find it at Penn Can Mall. Today? Carpeting and furniture.

Big whoop.

We often talk about the fact that Americans sit on their ass and do nothing recreational anymore. Walking around the mall isn’t the same as running the Boston Marathon but at least it’s movement. Give people a reason to move. Revive the pleasant atmosphere of a waterfall. Let Midge and Marge sit next to a statue with water shooting out of its naval as they sip their Starbucks and play Canasta.

Why can’t we have pleasant indoor scenery anymore? Life was never meant to be sterile with carpeting set at a jaunty angle.

The wooded area behind the house always has that one tree that is precocious. In the autumn there is one maple tree that turns her colors to red before the rest of the trees even think about shying away from green. Every spring, this guy decides he wants to be the first one to show some spring color.

The back lawn is still quite wet but I was able to navigate around a little bit without stepping up to my ankles in water. I measured out the width of the creek that runs through our back lawn to figure out how long a bridge to the other side would be. I need to build a bridge that is 10 feet long. I’m thinking two or three treated 4-by-4s and some strategically placed pallets. This will give us a little footbridge to cross over into the wooded area. I can jump the creek, I’ve done it many times, but it’s just not the same without a cat jumping along with me.

When the sun decided to peek through a little bit this afternoon I noticed that there are some other trees farther back on the property that are starting to show a little bit of fuzz that resembles something like spring colors.

It is definitely a welcome site.

I went for a walk this morning before getting started with my work day. The weather was slightly cooperative; it was in the 60s but it was raining a little bit. No worries, I hear laughter in the rain.

Getting outside really lets my mind wander. My typical walk route takes me along a road that was build in the late 1990s in preparation for the nearby expressway that opened up in 2003.

This is the remains of the “borrow pit”, the area of land where the dirt was excavated and relocated to the nearby expressway that was under construction at the time. When all was said and done, this fairly level piece of land was left behind. I have always wanted to have the means to build an estate of some sort on this piece of property. My mind dreamed of modest house built in the mid-century style with a couple of out buildings, a plush piece of lawn and a warm and friendly homestead that would make people feel welcome.

It’s always fun to dream of the possibilities. The key is to make those dreams come true. When you have a vision, you have something to look forward to.

I’ve lost three pounds since our return from vacation at the beginning of the week. This makes me happy because I didn’t really gain any weight while we were on vacation; I guess walking around a lot and trying to make healthy choices does make a difference. Simplicity really is the key, I guess.

I needed to get out of the house today, and since Earl is out of town for work, I decided to eat at a local place that we have frequented only once or twice. The menu here is a little complex, for example, one orders each individual item you want on a salad. The items are grouped by price into groups, “A”, “B”, etc. The counter person was a little startled when I simply ordered spring greens with everything under the “A” group. She urged to look at the menu and see that things are arranged by price, I simply responded that the “A” group had everything one could hope for in a salad. I opted for dressing on the side and then I asked for her to skip the egg, because I do not consider eggs to be part of my “A” game.

It’s all about maintaining a grade-A attitude.

I had hoped that I would be able to ride my bike this morning. I was eager to get out there and enjoy a nice bike ride as a way to start the day, but Mother Nature had different plans. It’s currently 40 degrees and raining quite hard. The picture doesn’t really capture how hard it’s raining but you get the general vibe in the snapshot.

The Carpenters’ “Rainy Days and Mondays” is going through my head but I’m determined to not let that deter me nor dictate my mood today.

I feel energized and ready to tackle the weak ahead. I guess I just need to stare into a sunlamp and listen to some feisty music this morning.

It was about this time of year three decades ago that I received a letter from SUNY Fredonia, the college I had applied to and auditioned at with hopes of becoming a Music Teacher. I can still vividly remember the drive to the western New York college campus with my Mom and Dad to see the campus and audition in front of the folks that did that sort of thing at the music school. At the time I felt confident; for the previous five years I had been in every “select” chorus at high school, had solo parts in the school musicals, successfully completed music theory classes, had performed at other civic functions as both part of a group and as a solo vocalist and had been part of All-County and All-State choral concerts. In daily chorus classes I was asked to sit next to those that would struggle with harmony; I could “sight sing” with the best of them. My knack for finding the harmony was strong and though my range was on the low side, I had a decent range to my singing voice (bass, baritone and relatively middle tenor).

I was nervous at the audition. Going into Mason Hall at SUNY Fredonia, I came to the realization that many of the others there had private vocal tutoring as part of their repertoire. I had practiced my three selections with my high school chorus teacher and I felt comfortable, but I had never had formal singing lessons. Going into other auditions as a teenager I felt confident; when I realized that others around me for this college-entry audition had much more training than I did, my confidence was rattled.

I had to sing three songs. One had to be in something other than English. My first song was “This Nearly Was Mine” from South Pacific. I was nervous but felt I nailed it.

“Wow, you have a really pop sound to your voice.”

Next I sang something in Italian and I’m sure it sounded as close to Italian as someone with a nasally Central New York accent can muster. I wasn’t confident with this song. I didn’t know what I was singing so I probably sounded more mechanical than emotional on this song. I could have been singing about unrequited love, a beautiful sunset or a delicious pizza. I had no clue. Phonetics was the name of the game.

I don’t remember what my third song was, but without any response from the audition board to the Italian song, I felt lost.

After my three songs I had to sing by ear. The pianist, a Dr. Hartley, who very much resembled Les Nessman from “WKRP In Cincinnati”, banged out a bunch of random notes and chords and asked me to reproduce the notes. It was like a game of “Simon” but without the lights or colors. Next, I was given a piece of music, this one in French, and asked to sing it by sight. No practice. I muddled through that in a somewhat hesitant fashion.

I was then thanked for my participation. Back then in 1986, one was not given a trophy just for participation. Several weeks later I received a letter in the mail. The letter stated that I was not accepted into the music school at SUNY Fredonia. They then wished me the best of luck in my future endeavors flipping hamburgers at Burger King.

I felt rejected, dejected, hurt and confused. No one would believe that I was not accepted to the music school. My band teacher called SUNY Fredonia and got me a second audition for instrumental performance as a tuba player. It wasn’t what I wanted to really do, playing the tuba was fun but it wasn’t my musical passion, singing was my passion. We went back to Fredonia, I played a couple of songs on my tuba and I was accepted into the tuba program. Getting anywhere with my tuba was easy because there’s not that many tuba players around. By the end of the first semester I was expected to play “Flight Of The Bumble Bee” on the tuba. The tuba professor (he played tuba and was shaped like a tuba) wasn’t really that encouraging. He, like the vocal audition board, really didn’t think I had what it took to be part of the school of music at SUNY Fredonia.

After a brief stint visiting a local school to teach some junior high schoolers, I decided that the cards were stacked too far against me and I dropped out of music. My dream was shattered. My plan to become a music teacher, long enough to get experience and a solid financial footing under me so that I could perform as a vocalist in a semi-professional manner, was crushed.

That year long experience has influenced my confidence, to varying degrees, for the past 30 years. But today, at this moment, right now, I feel the need to say “fuck them”.

I found my way to a technologically based career and I have one of the best gigs imaginable. I love what I do, I love the company I work for and I love the team I work with. Honestly, it wasn’t until I started to become a private pilot that I truly found my confidence. Maybe it has something to do with finally coming to my own in my mid 40s.

The memory of my music school experience has been on my mind and typing out this blog entry has helped me resolve that nagging bit of insecurity that has been lurking in a small little corner of my brain. I don’t know where I would be today had I become a music teacher.

Honestly, I don’t really care. I’m happy right where I am.

I’m sitting on the balcony of our condo at the Saratoga Springs Vacation Club Resort at Walt Disney World. We have been here a few days, we leave for home tomorrow morning. Abbreviated vacations like this are quite rejuvenating. I feel like I can once again tackle the world until our next big adventure.

Looking out from the balcony over the meticulously manicured grounds of this resort, I can’t help but wonder how some folks can be so cranky in these parts. Honestly, I can’t fully understand how people can go through life with a negative disposition. It’s happiness that should be fueling the world, not negative vibes. Society seems to be embracing all that seems dark and menacing. That’s not the way this experiment called life is suppose to work.

While waiting in line at the Magic Kingdon for the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction, two women behind us got into a small shoving match over who was suppose to be going first in the line. These two women didn’t know each other. Their heated discussion included phrases such as “I paid good money to be here” and “you need to shut up and mind your own business”. The line wasn’t exceptionally long. Disney Parks does an amazing job of maintaining impartiality in crowd control. This place is billed as The Most Magical Place On Earth.

Why can’t people just sit back, relax and enjoy some magic?

As a rabid people watcher, I’m always delighted for the opportunity to sit in a non intrusive spot watching people go about their vacation, their day, their lives. A teacher I knew long ago said, “People fascinate me. I have never met a person that didn’t impress me.” I totally get that.

Why not strive to make that impression a positive one?

Society is changing. I can’t help but notice that hostility is becoming a little more prevalent amongst the people. This bothers me because a society that becomes increasingly hostile to one another is not a society that can move forward and progress. But we are living in a time where people think nothing of being more aggressive to one another. Staking claim. Trying to get first.

Many people have said that for change to happen you need to be the change you want to see. Walk the walk. Live the life. Be an example.

Smile. Share your smile. Make the world a better place.