Gayish.

Earl and I are spending the weekend camping at Jones Pond Campground, outside of the tiny village of Angelica in New York’s Southern Tier. Its our first time at this campground, which is a campground for gay men.

I think some people are surprised that there are campgrounds for gay men. There are many across the country, with four within three hours of our home. Back B.E. (before Earl), I frequented another campground, Hillside Campgrounds in northeast Pennsylvania, with my boyfriend at the time. He had a permanent site there, with an old Airstream installed in the woods high up on the hill. It was great.

Earl and I haven’t been to a gay campground since 1997 and this is our first time at Jones Pond. I was a little bit nervous about the whole thing because that’s what I do, but my nerves were quickly dispelled once we got set up and started getting friendly with the natives. Last night we danced like we haven’t danced in years with friends from Buffalo and Rochester. It was all good.

Like Hillside, Jones Pond has many seasonal campers here. The sites are beautiful with the campground on the side of the hill in the middle of the woods. Gay campgrounds differ from others in some ways. For example, there’s a party barn with a big dance floor (complete with video screen) that pumps out high-energy dance music every Friday and Saturday night. It’s BYOB which is fine by me. There’s also a raging bonfire at the same time and since it’s a gay campground, we can actually snuggle up near the bonfire without Mr. and Mrs. Bushamerica flipping a tacky yellow ribbon over the whole ordeal. It’s also clothing optional for those so inclined and there are those that do pick up the option. (And no, I haven’t yet; the whiteness of my skin and the remaining vestiges of my childhood ginger-red hair are sometimes just too much for some to take in.)

The seasonal sites here are elaborate affairs with a judicious use of colored lights, ribbon, Christmas balls, flowers, palm trees, pink flamingos and other gay fabulosity.

It’s very relaxing in a comfortable way, and Earl and I are enjoying the whole experience immensely. We’re making new friends and just being ourselves without any need to put a guard up. This is all good.

I want to get married again. I want Earl and I to celebrate our 10th anniversary next year by renewing our vows and inviting our families and friends to witness the event. I want a big party. I want to wear a tux. I want to be a legally recognized couple in the Empire State. I want to file taxes together. I want to be able to walk hand and hand down the street with my husband, and yes, I used the term husband for a change, letting everyone know that “yes, I am married to this big bear of a man and I have never been so happy in my life.”

Earl and I have been watching “First Comes Love”, which I guess was originally titled “My Big Fabulous Gay Wedding”, on the new Logo channel (that’s the gay channel that’s run by the same people that run MTV). I’m really not that keen on the show. It’s about the flamboyant Scott Thompson being a couple’s “wedding fairy” where he and his group of wedding experts put on a big, lavish, outrageous wedding for a same-sex couple in love. It’s legal and all, because it takes place in Canada. You can tell by the accents, the use of metric measurements and the lack of toothless people waving signs that say “those two fags can’t get married” in the background.

Though I’ve only seen two episodes, the wedding ceremonies are way too far over the top for my tastes. Fa-fa hor d’oeurves. Art galleries. Botox. Shirtless dancing men in the aisle. “Theme weddings” based on the couple’s heritage. I think Earl looks hot in a kilt. Especially when he’s doing handstands (just kidding), but I don’t know if I can see him standing in front of a Justice of the Peace exchanging vows with me in a kilt just because he’s 1/10th Scottish. What the hell would I wear? I’m Scottish, Irish, French Canadian, Welsh, German, English and God knows what else. Do I wear a dog collar to represent the mutt that I really am? Maybe I’m too traditional, but I think tuxes are more appropriate for a wedding ceremony. But I guess to each his own.

It’s not like our wedding back in ’96 was anywhere near traditional. We wore dress clothes and looked decent enough, but we exchanged our vows in front of Earl’s step brother Rick and Rick’s girlfriend Helen on Penns Landing in Philadelphia. There was no big crowd; just the four of us, the day after Christmas, after dark, in the cold, exchanging our vows and our rings. A boatload of Marines passed by. There were cheers. We couldn’t have been happier. I wouldn’t exchange our wedding for any other type of experience. It’s just what we wanted and it still brings a lump to my throat to this day when I think about it.

With our 10 year anniversary just 18 months away, I need to start saving money now if it’s going to be a big affair, after all, I’ve mentioned how much I suck at saving money before. The problem is, I want our union to be legally recognized. I want a Justice of the Peace to conduct the ceremony. I want our partnership to be certified. Is that too much to ask? Our families have been supportive. There are those that may not completely understand our relationship, but I believe that they respect us and still love us. Why can’t our country, the country that we pay our taxes to, respect, celebrate, mourn for and would die for if necessary, show us the same respect?

It falls on deaf ears.

Regardless, I think we’ll have that big celebration next year. And as outrageous or traditional as it turns out to be, it will still be one Fabulous Gay Wedding (er, Renewing Of Our Vows).

Everybody needs a little eye candy on a sweaty, sultry Monday.


Stephen Caffrey as Fuzzy in the 1990 movie “Longtime Companion”.

Being faithful subscribers to DirecTV, Earl and I are delighted to see the addition of channel 263 – “LOGO” from MTV Networks. “LOGO” is the first non-subscription all-gay network.

The very first thought that came to my mind is that while I’m very excited about the existence of this channel, it’s a shame that we have to have a separate gay network. But if some of these shows were to show on mainstream television, the conversative right and all that would have an absolute hissy fit. Though they wouldn’t have the panache to call it a “hissy fit”. They’d just scream “moral values” and beat some people over the head with Bible.

One of the shows we’ve watched on LOGO this weekend is “The Evolution Will Be Televised”, which outlines gay history from the Stonewall riots in 1969 to current day. There’s commentary from gay celebrities, gay community activists, etc. I find it all very interesting, especially since I lived in Boston in the late 1980s and took part of a couple of the pride celebrations. I also had friends that were in ACT=UP. I once spat on a man that was trying to “cure” participants in a pride parade.

Anyways, one of the topics addressed in this hour long documentary is Anita Bryant’s anti-gay crusade in 1977. Being nine years old at the time, I wasn’t really all that politically or socially aware, but I do remember seeing Anita being “pied” on the evening news. I also seem to remember my mother saying that she wasn’t a very nice woman. I guess my mom was always cool that way. Anita looked harmless enough to my nine-year old eyes, but as an adult I realize what a horrid, hateful, venomous woman she was. And I will state again (as many others have before me): if anyone, gay or straight truly believes that a gay man or lesbian can be “cured” or “converted” to heterosexuality really has no idea of what they’re talking about and must have nothing less than a weak personality, low sense of self worth and a great deal to hide about themselves.

While we were watching this show, I wondered whatever happened to Anita Bryant. For some reason, I just assumed she’s passed on. But I was wrong. She’s still alive, but apparently silent on her social beliefs, thank god. Having lost her orange juice endorsement deal (due to a boycott of Florida oranges and other social pressures), she divorced her first husband and declared bankrupcy in 1997 and again in 2001. Sounds like all that hate has led her to the good life. Maybe she should shack up with Dr. Laura.

I think one of the most important things a gay man or lesbian can do in society today is just be themselves. If you’re not ashamed of yourself, you have nothing to hide. What’s the risk? People may shun you? Big deal. You didn’t want to know them anyways. If everyone would just let others live and let live and be themselves without judgment, the world would be a better place. I can even accept the views of others, however hate inspired. If they would just shut up about it.

“The Game Of Love”, Santana feat Michelle Branch.

O.k., everyone can calm down, my iPod is working once again. In case you suffer the same trouble as me, here’s what I did.

1. I downloaded a nifty program called YamiPod. You can find it here.
2. I ran the program on my Mac, with the iPod plugged in and iTunes closed. Actually, iTunes kept crashing so that second part was easy.
3. I opted to “restore” my iPod, which gave me a few ominous messages but did what it needed to do.
4. I unmounted and remounted my iPod and then opened iTunes. iTunes promptly did it’s thing and updated all the music on my iPod, bringing everything back to normal.

I see light once again!

“Get Up, Stand Up (Phunk Investigation Radio Edit)”, Stellar Project featuring Brandi Emma.

Now that I’m able to enjoy my tunes again I am able to blog in style! I’m finding myself reading more and more blogs these days and actually going beyond lurking and dropping comments all over the place. As I typed that last sentence I had visions of a pigeon in Central Park leaving his mark. Isn’t that lovely? It gives you insight to my self-esteem, comparing my thoughts to pigeon poop. Oh well. I’m really not that screwed up in the head.

Really.

“Relax”, Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

With this very hot, sticky weather here in Upstate N.Y. I am reminded of my club days when I was spinning tunes at the local bar. It’d be a hot Saturday night in July. The bar would be crowded with men and women, all drinking beer, pop or foofy drinks (it was a gay bar after all). The dance floor would be a sea of bare chested men, hairy bears and a smattering of drag queens marinated in some outrageous perfume, all punctuated by a few bare-chested lesbians. I’d keep the floor moving and the crowd pumped with tracks like “Relax”, “Brand New Lover”, “Let The Music Play”, “Point Of No Return” and other 80s and 90s dance tracks. Of course I’d compliment the mix with a “Stars On 45” jingle and then segue into some late 70s stuff. That was always a popular mix. Something like “Come To Me” by France Joli or “Searchin'” by Hazell Dean.

“Two To Make It Right”, Seduction.

Thinking about this stuff is getting me in the mood to go out and celebrate gay pride this year. Earl has mentioned a couple of local gay pride celebrations coming up. I think we might have to join in the festivities.

“Tell Me When”, The Human League.

We were recently talking about our first crush. I remember my first crush. I was seven years old. If I could have made out with the television without experiencing an electric shock, I would have.

My first crush was on the character Rick Mason, played by Brian Cutler on “The Secrets of Isis.” Even at seven years old, I just *knew* that he was the bees’ knees. The tossled blond hair, the mustache, the boyish charm… *sigh*

And here he is from an earlier film, “Catalina Caper”. Even 30 years later, I still find him the bees’ knees.