August 5, 2020


When my husband tunes in a news conference with the Orange One during the workday, I have to shut my office door and put on noise canceling headphones. It’s not that my husband is watching a news conference, and I use that phrase loosely, and I wish to tune out the news of the day, but rather it’s the awful voice of the Orange One that makes me want to crawl up a wall and stick my head in the spinning ceiling fan.

The man will never be known for his oration skills.

Now, I know His Idiocy can’t pronounce Yosemite. After all, he’s just mastered “person, man, woman, tv, camera”, we can’t expect him to go to bigger words containing more syllables in only a week. We should give him credit; he sounded it out and after doing so the world thought he was tremendous.

Actually, they didn’t find him tremendous, but he uses the word tremendous so frequently and so inappropriately, I’m beginning to think ‘tremendous’ is the Boomer version of the Millennials’ ‘literally’.

I literally never want to hear the word tremendous again.

I’m disappointed that the “journalists” (and I use that word very loosely) continue to attend these “briefings” (and I use that word very loosely) when we know they’re going to be jammed packed with a tremendous number of lies. If I had a drink for every promise that was to come to fruition “in two weeks” I’d be more drunk than I am right now and quite frankly I’m in a position at the moment where I’m doing my best Tallulah impersonation and calling everyone darling.

Actually, I’m not drunk. Not tremendously so. But it makes for good writing and hopefully it meets my objective of entertaining the reader.

I wouldn’t waste one drop of fine alcohol in an effort to forget the Orange One.