As a card carrying homosexual, it is my community duty to watch the hysteria of a show known as “Glee”. Not only does sitting down to watch this show afford me a nice chunk of “family time” on a Tuesday night, but it also gives me the opportunity to know what everyone else is hyperventilating about around the water cooler when I go into the office/mall/market/penitentiary the next day.

We are now beyond the second episode of the second season and I have to say without a trace of humor in my voice, “I just don’t get it.”

If one tries to use Twitter or the like to stimulate their brain cells whilst watching one of these episodes in real time, they will find that the tubes are clogged with random squeals, a plethora of exclamation points and randomly barked out song lyrics. I hate to admit it but I think that my lack of enthusiasm for the show is making my gay card degrade from pink to putrid.

Here’s my take on the show:

1. The blonde Brittney chick is a hoot and I enjoy everything that comes out of her mouth.  Her random take on life is worthy of her notoriety, however, when her quotes are posted on Twitter, completely out of context, they kind of read weird.

2. No one can sing without autotune these days. Apparently we have all gone tone deaf. This is one of the few occasions where I feel the need to shoot the closest piece of technology with a .22.

3. I was sort of warming up to the show this season until they dragged out that stupid, idiotic, mundane story line about Will’s ex-wife and the wallflower. I despise the actress that plays the ex-wife and I secretly hoped her powers on “Heroes” would have gone haywire and she would have blown herself up (with an agonizing scream, of course). Horrible actress, horrible role, horrible storyline, be-doop be-doop be-doop through the TiVO and we are looking for evidence of the her presence being over.

4. When did Rachel become such an unlikable bitch?

5. Sue Sylvester is approaching Urkel land with her presence. I’m now preferring Coach Biest. She may be a dumb hick but at least she’s a little more real feeling. (And I can’t believe I said that either when one considers the context of the entire show).

I’m sorry. I should be ecstatic about “Glee”. There’s music, dancing and high school drama. But I’m not. The only good thing the show brings to my life is the opportunity to sit down and spend time with my family.

Perhaps that in itself is enough. But god that show is awful.