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Jingle Bells.

The holiday season is in full swing and naturally folks are out buying a bunch of stuff at Crazy Eddie’s unbelievably low prices in an effort to make their loved ones happy and buy their way back to good graces after being mean as hell the rest of the year.

How’s THAT for gaiety!

I made a public declaration that I want little for Christmas this year, yet I want to shower others with gifts. I surpassed my allotted budget days ago and it’s only the 3rd. I just started shopping on the 1st. Perhaps I’m trying to make up for being mean as hell or something.

One of the things that makes me insane about this time of year is being forced to listen to Christmas music. I want to enjoy the soothing sounds of the holiday on my own terms. My mother used to crank up an album she had picked up at Grants or Two Guys; I think it was called “The White Family Christmas”. I have to admit I used to enjoy that album when I was a kid, even through the tiny speakers on the GE Wildcat record player. I liked the fact that we would listen when we were in the mood to listen.

The Big.Thing. in this area is for radio stations to go to all Christmas music in an effort to boost ratings increase ad revenue bring joy and merriment to the masses. (Don’t ever believe that commercial radio stations are there to entertain the public, it’s just another industry that has been perverted into a sole money maker and nothing more). Anyways, if I don’t plug in my iPhone when I get in the car, I can either listen to: NPR, all country Christmas music, all Christmas music that is lite and easy or all Christmas music that is fast and peppy. Well, there’s always death metal or a wide array of “you’re going to die and go to hell” Christian stations to choose from, so I guess I’m blessed to have choices. I usually settle on NPR.

At work someone wise decided that we needed the radio station of their choice pumped through the no-fidelity intercom speakers. The station of choice is the lite and easy station, which plays “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” every day on the 30th minute of a given hour, which will be followed up with “Hold On” by Wilson Philips 45 minutes later, which will be followed by Cher and “Believe” exactly 37 minutes later. All of this is interspersed with Huey Lewis and the News and heaping helpings of Sheena Easton. She takes the morning train. To maintain my sanity, I bought a raffle ticket for a Remington 30-06 with scope so that I can shoot out the speaker.

On December 1, Sheena, Huey and friends were retired for continuous Christmas and holiday music. It is now December 3 and I’m now hoping that I win the gun instead of using my luck to win the lottery. I don’t think that this season of peace should involve the hopes of winning a gun in a raffle but I’m desperate.

I really just want some peace.