Fire.

With Apple’s announcement of new goodies in the way of computers and software today, I just had to get down to the nearest Apple store after my training class today and find out what all the fuss is about. Plus, being away from home, money doesn’t seem to hold as much value to me and what harm could happen if I applied for Apple credit while I was at the store?

As an added bonus, the food court has a Chick-Fil-A. Apple store + Apple Credit Card X Chick-Fil-A=Fscking Nirvana. It’s simple math.

While I was eating my charbroiled chicken sandwich and drinking some unsweetened iced tea (I managed to stay healthy while eating tonight), the fire alarms starting honking throughout the mall. No one moved. I kept eating my supper, the muzak kept playing, the chinese restaurant people kept handing out samples and the kid at the table next to me kept saying “more fries! more fries! more fries!” repeatedly while the mother did nothing about it. No one looked for smoke. No one smelled for smoke. There was no mayhem. There wasn’t even interest.

The store under the food court across from the Apple store had smoke billowing out of the back room. It was some sort of card and gift shop. It smelled like every ounce of incense in stock was on fire. Perhaps that’s why everyone was so non-plussed about the fire horns. They were too centered and focused from the incense.

The only real disadvantage to this whole scenario is that the very astute team at the Apple store followed mall policies and ushered everyone out of their store until the fire alarms went off and the trouble cleared. Because the fire was across the hall from the Apple store, this essentially hurded the people towards the pleasantly aromatic smoke and away from all the goodies that were announced at today’s Macworld.

I don’t think people take the new “beep beep” sound of these electronic fire alarms seriously. Perhaps the public has become desensitized to flashing strobe lights and electronic beeps. I remember when the traditional fire BELLS went off when I was in school, everyone made a bee-line for the exit, single file and in an orderly fashion. I’ve been in tall buildings (at least for the city we live in) where the traditional bells rang and people left the building. However, whenever I’ve been around where these electronic horns sound the alarm, people couldn’t care less.

So much for new technology in the fire safety department I guess.

After order was restored and the smoke was cleared, Apple cheerfully opened their store where I promptly applied for an Apple credit account. Click, click, click, please wait. “Oops, you live in New York and you’re currently in Massachusetts.” We need to verify first.

The e-mail arrived when I got back to the hotel room.* You must wait for your card to arrive, then you can make a purchase.

That’s o.k. I probably would have maxed the generous card anyways and then I would have to deal with that financial scenario when I returned home tomorrow night.

* The hotel room saga continues a little. This morning the water pressure in my shower amounted to the feeling that someone was peeing on my head whilst I stood under the shower spigot. (And never mind why I know how that feels, anyway). I mentioned it at the front desk, when I got back to room this evening after class I had a crowd of construction guys in my hotel room bathroom. Try explaining that to your lover. At least I have pictures.