December 29, 2004

As I was writing last night’s blog entry, it occurred to me that my resolutions may sound hauntingly familiar every year. So I dug up another old chestnut from my baby blogger days. I think my record is skipping or something…

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Resolution Revolution

December 29, 2001

With New Year’s just around the corner, it’s time to completely revamp one’s life with what I call the Resolution Revolution. I tend to take New Year’s Resolutions very seriously. With the dropping of the ball and the birth of a new year, its the best time to take a new lease on life, slip into the body that I’ve always dreamed about, clear my skin, become more spiritually focused, get involved in civic affairs, become a cook, a gardener, a sky-diver, a nuclear physist, the list goes on and on.

But seriously, I do have hopes of improving my life and well-being around the New Year’s holiday. The holiday holds so much promise.

Last year, one of my major New Year’s resolutions was to become a full-time vegetarian. I had been dinking around with being a part-time vegetarian for a couple of months beforehand, mostly when it was convenient, but I told myself I needed to become dedicated to the cause. If it had the ability to take a dump, I wasn’t going to eat it. That lasted until we went out west for vacation and I discovered “Sonic” and “In and Out” burger. So much for that.

Another resolution I made last year was to not spend unnecessary money. In celebration of this event, I went crazy on ebay and purchased a cash register system from a defunct department store. I guess I needed a place to store all the money I was saving.

One of my better resolutions of last year was to learn to speak French. I did the whole CD tutorial thing, along with “French for Dummies”. Earl and I headed up to Montréal for a weekend, the perfect opportunity to test out my French. Trying to be friendly, I tried to strike up a conversation with a nice older woman in the mall. Since it was July, I simply said “Boy, it’s hot”. After she slugged me with her purse I realized that I had said, “I’m in heat.” So much for French.

The first resolution of this year is the only one I am going to share. I’m not sharing my resolutions with anyone. After years of making promises to myself, and announcing them loudly to everyone within a 50 mile radius of my mouth, people tend to not take me seriously anymore. But after my Resolution Revolution of 2002, suffice it to say that I’m going to be rich, famous, a contributing member of society and absolutely gorgeous to look at. At least until January 15.

Once again the New Year is rolling around and naturally I’m thinking about what resolutions I can make so that I can be a better person. I don’t know why I really bother making resolutions, to tell you the truth, because I am constantly trying to better myself, dare I say re-invent myself, but nonetheless, with the ringing in of the new year I at least feel like I’m with the crowd instead of against it.

I have two goals this year. Financial responsibility and getting back to my healthy ways.

I’ve always been terrible with money. I’m the first to admit. If I have it, I feel the need to spend it. “You can’t take it with you.” Oh, I live that motto right to the hilt and buy more crap than any other person I know. I poo-poo coupons. I shun sales. I laugh at those looking for a bargain. Ha ha ha ha ha.

In 2005, I’m going to make an honest attempt to be more financially responsible. Today did not set a good precedent, as I spent exactly $9.95 on a piece of software for my work computer that allows me to do the exposé thing that Mac OS X does. (If you have the latest version of Mac OS X, try pressing F9 or fn-F9 if you have an iBook or PowerBook, and see how much easier it makes it to choose what window you want to work with). As I told Earl about the $9.95 I spent on the debit card, he said to me, “So the financial responsibility you were talking about yesterday is gone today?” Or something like that. Chalk that conversation up to lesson learned.

My other goal is to get back on the health track. Last night I hit the exercise bike for 20 minutes of elevated heart rate goodness. Today I did 25 minutes and feel better, though I still feel fat. I’ve gained in the neighborhood of 8-10 pounds over this holiday season and I need to lose it. I’ve been very relaxed with my eating habits. The use of the word “relaxed” is kind of ironic, in that it takes a lot of energy to eat all the crap I’ve been shoveling into my mouth since Thanksgiving or so. For a little motivation, I watched the movie “Super Size Me” about the guy that ate nothing but Mc Donalds food for 30 days straight. The results of his diet were absolutely astounding. He gained around 20 pounds, his cholesterol shot up from 165 to 220-something, his liver was having an absolute fit (who knew a liver could have a fit without an alcohol assist?) and he couldn’t get it up in bed.

Ooh, sign me up for that fun.

So I’m drinking water by the gallons and trying to eat small portioned, balanced meals. It’s not easy with the enormous amount of leftovers in the house, but they’ll all turn green or navy over the next couple of days and then they won’t be a worry any longer. I really want to cut out soda altogether. I’ll probably be super bastarad for the next couple of days until my body adjusts. I should cut out dairy again, but I don’t want to throw my body, lifestyle and lover into shock. We’ll ease into that slowly.

Yes siree, folks, its Resolution Revolution 2005. Let the party begin!