November 2004

This morning I woke up still groggy from the seemingly eternal dreams I had last night. The dreams were far too complex to try to write down, but it boiled down to people holding up signs that said “Self Employed” on them. As a result of this, when I awoke I began thinking that my new job was part of the wrong path, that I wasn’t “getting it”, that I was invaluable to the company, on and on. The demons of self-doubt and lack of confidence were showing their ugly faces again.

The company I work for does a lot of interfacing, for lack of a better word, with a big telecommunications corporation. I’m not going to mention their name here, but let’s just say that it rhymes with Horizon. Because of the complexities of the telecommunications industry and the sheer size of their company, everyone has a job to do, and only that job to do. There are countless departments, department heads, worker bees and decision makers. Working with them can be a cranky experience. I’ve never had a warm, fuzzy feeling after a discussion with anyone in their organization.

So I’m at work armed with the vestiges of my dreams and the little demons showing their faces when I find out that I have to take a job to a Horizon supervisor. A woman notorious for being marginally to outright rude depending on the situation. Imagine my surprise when she actually offered to help me and even interjected a few suggestions to make the job go smoother.

After that, two other representatives called me on other jobs that had been in holding pattern hell, and both of them were equally nice.

Either I have stepped into the Twilight Zone or someone is telling me that last night’s dreams were just that. “Toughen up cupcake, you’re doing a good job, don’t let the little things get you down.”

———–

That being said, I’m terribly worried about my mother. Her little dog, Mandi, had to be put to sleep on Monday as her body was full of cancer, in an alarmingly short amount of time. My mother is understandably taken it very hard. I’m one of those crazy animal lovers that place more value on our “pets” than on human beings sometimes, so I can sympathize with what she’s feeling.

And to top all the fun, Earl is out of town this week, which I’m not dealing with as well as I usually do. I look forward to talking with him tonight.

A typical Upstate N.Y. November made itself known today. It snowed. That’s right, we got a nice dusting of snow today, along with temperatures in the high 20s and low 30s to go along with it. There’s enough snow to nicely cover the grass, but it’s not the type to stick around for a long time. We’re suppose to get more snow tonight and tomorrow, then temps will be in the forties the rest of the week.

When I looked out my office window earlier today and saw the first glimpse of the snow flakes, I felt a surge of anticipation for the holiday season. It was definitely a welcomed feeling. I haven’t really felt the holiday spirit over the past couple of years. I don’t know if it was because of stress, crankiness, a lack of enthusiasm or a combination of all of the above, but this year feels like it’s going to be different to me. I feel like I’m going to be experiencing the holidays in a different sort of way this year.

We’re having our first of three Thanksgiving dinners this coming Sunday. The preparations have already begun with the thorough cleaning of the house. There’s still groceries to be bought, dishes to be washed and a meal to be cooked, but I can feel the excitement of it all already.

It snowed today for the first time this season. And I couldn’t be happier about it.

Well I finally got my dentist appointment and went and had my top two wisdom teeth pulled out today. I’m officially fresh out of wisdom, as all of my wisdom teeth are now gone.

It wasn’t as nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The shots of novacaine (or reasonable fascimile thereof) were the worst part. When I was in on Monday, the dentist alluded to major oral surgery with curved roots and general mayhem going on in the back of my mouth. But the oral surgeon said that I had a pair of the easiest teeth to pull that he’s seen in quite a while. I think he was just flirting with me. “Hey sexy, easy teeth.”

Apparently, since my bottom wisdom teeth were pulled a decade or two ago, the top teeth had room to move and so they were all there just ready for a pair of pliers. A yank and another yank and a odd feeling in my sinus cavities and whoops, there they go! I was morbidly interested in seeing the teeth but I wasn’t fortunate to experience that. I was curious as to what the outside of my wisdom teeth looked like, because I could never see them when they were in my mouth, being slammed up against the inside of my cheek and all. It’s going to be kind of groovy, because now I won’t be biting my cheek as much.

Ironically, the side of my mouth that wasn’t infected is hurting more than the side that was. I wonder why that is. It’s not a bad pain, just sort of like a bruise or something. And it’s been over four hours and there’s absolutely no sign of swelling. Which is a very good thing, because I was concerned about that, being as vain as I am.

So tomorrow I head back to work to enjoy a Friday with my co-workers, armed with a Thermos of fake-chicken soup. I’m glad to be beyond this milepost.

The more I think about the outcome of yesterday?s election, the more fired up I become about the whole cause. I definitely feel the need to become more involved. I see a curve in my life path. This could be interesting.

The more I think through my anger and disappointment about the outcome of yesterday’s election, the more I get fired up. So I’ve started a political blog called Fired Up! You’ll see a link to it from the main page as well as right from this page.

I’ve decided to keep my political views separate, at least for the most part, from this blog because I try to comment on the lighter side of life here and the fight for the White House in 2008 is definitely not going to fit into the lighter side of things. We have three years and 364 days to get our ducks in a row, so to speak and I’m going to start tonight.

I’ve never imagined myself as a person to be that politically minded. Years ago it was “yeah, yeah, he’s cute, he seems to make sense, I’ll vote for him.” This is the first election that I really paid attention to the issues and made a well educated decision when I entered the voting booth. Apparently, that’s not good enough. I need to make my feelings known, my beliefs heard and I need to influence people around me. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to be a dreadful bore at all the parties I go to or that I’m going to be one of those militant fools that refuses to talk to the cashier because she’s stupid enough to be working at a company as dreadful as Wal*Mart. No, no, that’s petty shit. By the way, it’s unfortunate that the girl behind the register at Wal*Mart (“Always White Trash, Always”) has to work that job at slave wages in addition to busing tables at the local diner just so she can afford formula, food and medicine for her toddler and her newborn.

So I hope you’ll take the time to read Fired Up!, but I’m not going to force you to. And please continue to join me as I observe that Life is such a sweet insanity.

It appears the Baby Bush has squeaked through the election and will continue his reign of terror as president. I am very disappointed, to say the least. But on the bright side, at least we’re now half way through this nightmare. And after all, it’s all downhill from here.

Earl and I continue to watch the CNN coverage of the election. Prior to the top of each hour, they cut to the “Crossfire” crew to amuse us with their babble. It’s mildly amusing and I don’t mind watching it. But what’s driving me crazy are these camera whores standing behind the panelists with Bush-Cheney signs. I would still call them camera whores if they were holding Kerry-Edwards signs. They’re damn annoying and should find something more constructive to do.

I think I’m getting a little cranky.

As Earl and I watch the election results chug along on CNN, I can not help but feel anger towards Florida, just like I did during the 2000 election.

This bunch of bumbling, inept and idiotic fools in charge of voting in Florida should be ashamed of themselves. They knew the spotlight would be on them again. They knew that they would have a large number of absentee ballots. And once again, they’re running around with absolutely no clue as to how to accomplish anything. CNN just showed a shot of the absentee voting center in Miami-Dade County and everyone was sitting around with their thumbs up their butt. They’ve given themselves until 12:00 p.m. on Thursday. Well bravo for you, you bunch of hicks.

Florida is screwing up the election once again. Sadly, with governor Jeb Bush and his harem of ugly women, I’m not surprised.

After all the discussion and debate, Earl and I naturally exercised our right to vote this evening. It was a heartwarming experience on many counts.

First of all, it is refreshing to use the tried and true mechanical voting machines that are so common here in New York State. You simply flip the lever over the candidates name and then you move the handle to let yourself out of the booth. No hanging chads. No computers with questionable and secret programming. No rebooting. It’s refreshingly simple and accurate. Other states should follow suit and dump these ridiculous touchscreen voting machines and go for the mechanical systems. In this case, screw technology.

Secondly, Earl’s change of address was not registered properly (apparently anyone that sent their change of address to Albany didn’t get registered properly, at least in this area), and the election officials in the Town of Marcy went out of their way to make sure that he was able to vote. They followed the rules to the letter, without question and without complaint.

And lastly, I was astounded at the number of new voters, young and old, that I observed in the fifteen minutes we were at the polling place. It was nice to see so many citizens caring about government for a change.

While Earl and I are really hoping for a Kerry win, we’re proud that we had the right to vote, regardless of the outcome.

Today I found out that I have to have my two top wisdom teeth out. They’ve been bothering me for the past two months or so, but I didn’t have dental insurance until today. I haven’t had dental insurance since 1992. And I’ll admit it, I haven’t been to the dentist since then.

I know, I know, eeeewwwwwww.

Fortunately, my teeth have held up pretty good over the years and things aren’t nearly as bad as I thought they would be. I don’t know if I’m going to have to be knocked out to have them taken out or what, but while it sounds painful, I find it morbidly exciting.

So I’ll be losing a little bit of wisdom as I lose the remaining wisdom teeth. Oh well. My mouth was looking too fat anyway.

Of course, everyone should be using as much wisdom as possible when they go to the polls tomorrow. Please remember to vote tomorrow. Make your vote count. And please think long and hard before you vote. Don’t just put your finger on the party line of your choice and zip across. Know your candidates. Know the issues. Study up tonight!!! I just ask that you consider a couple of things:

• The current administration has introduced the first constitutional amendment that takes away citizen’s rights rather than guaranteeing them. If they can take away the right of gay marriage with a constitutional amendment, what is to prevent the government for taking away other rights using the same methods?
• We have the largest national debt in history. Four years ago, the budget was balanced.
• We essentially lost millions of tons of one of the most dangerous explosives known to man to the enemy.
• Gas prices have gone from $1.39/gallon to $2.09/gallon in four years.
• The cost of health care is out of control. There are many, many American without health coverage at all. Just today, I paid $136 for a five day supply of pain killers for an infected wisdom tooth. Luckily, I could afford the prescription. How many people are sitting at home tonight with an outrageous toothache and no means to pay for the medicine to cure it?
• Oneida County, N.Y., where we currently live, is about to enact the largest sales and use tax in the history of the United States. That’s right folks, we’re going to be paying a 9.75% sales tax on everything aside from milk, bread and other food essentials. Yes, our Charmin is going to cost nearly 10% more than the rest of the country. Our clothing and shoes will have a nearly 10% tax tacked on. This is to cover Medicaid and Medicare.
• The current administration is cutting funding for the “No Child Left Behind” program. Are our schools doing so spectacularly well that we can afford to cut funding to them?
• The United States has lost credibility and respect throughout the world with our “go it alone” policy when it comes to foreign affairs.
• And finally, are we really any safer than we were before September 11, 2001? Do you feel that the airlines really need to know your credit history just so you can ride in an airplane? Are you comfortable with being tracked via electronic means as you conduct your business and maintain your personal life? Do you value your privacy?

While I sincerely hope that you vote for a change in administration, please think long and hard before you push the lever, touch the screen or tick a box. And please, by all means, make your voice heard and exercise your right to vote. Your country depends on it.

Halloween Weekend. Earl and I have been all jazzed up about this weekend, primarily because we live in a semi-suburban area now and we would actually get cute little trick or treaters begging for candy.

We were wrong.

We purchased 15 bags of candy at Wal*Mart (“Always White Trash, Always”) during a wine induced shopping spree a couple of weeks ago in anticipation of all the kids coming to the door. Helicopters were going to transport kids to the area from the surrounding housing developments. Candy deposit stations would be set up so that kids could empty their overstuffed bags of sweets and hit the road again for another load of diabetic goodness.

We were wrong.

Niagara Mohawk (power company) would be proud as we lit up the porch, the driveway, the garage, the local stadium and a string of illuminated pumpkins across the landscaping so that little masks would light up in glee over the festivity of it all.

We were wrong.

Not one flippin’ kid came to the door. Not one. Nada. Zilch. Zero. And now I have one disappointed ‘kid’ (read ‘Earl’) on my hands.

Guess what’s for supper tomorrow night! Anyone in the mood for a little Almond Joy?