November 10, 2004

So I’m Having This Bad Day…

This morning I woke up still groggy from the seemingly eternal dreams I had last night. The dreams were far too complex to try to write down, but it boiled down to people holding up signs that said “Self Employed” on them. As a result of this, when I awoke I began thinking that my new job was part of the wrong path, that I wasn’t “getting it”, that I was invaluable to the company, on and on. The demons of self-doubt and lack of confidence were showing their ugly faces again.

The company I work for does a lot of interfacing, for lack of a better word, with a big telecommunications corporation. I’m not going to mention their name here, but let’s just say that it rhymes with Horizon. Because of the complexities of the telecommunications industry and the sheer size of their company, everyone has a job to do, and only that job to do. There are countless departments, department heads, worker bees and decision makers. Working with them can be a cranky experience. I’ve never had a warm, fuzzy feeling after a discussion with anyone in their organization.

So I’m at work armed with the vestiges of my dreams and the little demons showing their faces when I find out that I have to take a job to a Horizon supervisor. A woman notorious for being marginally to outright rude depending on the situation. Imagine my surprise when she actually offered to help me and even interjected a few suggestions to make the job go smoother.

After that, two other representatives called me on other jobs that had been in holding pattern hell, and both of them were equally nice.

Either I have stepped into the Twilight Zone or someone is telling me that last night’s dreams were just that. “Toughen up cupcake, you’re doing a good job, don’t let the little things get you down.”


That being said, I’m terribly worried about my mother. Her little dog, Mandi, had to be put to sleep on Monday as her body was full of cancer, in an alarmingly short amount of time. My mother is understandably taken it very hard. I’m one of those crazy animal lovers that place more value on our “pets” than on human beings sometimes, so I can sympathize with what she’s feeling.

And to top all the fun, Earl is out of town this week, which I’m not dealing with as well as I usually do. I look forward to talking with him tonight.