Yes, I Mac.

With Earl out of town on business this week, I’ve had the opportunity to let the techno-geek out for a little bit. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that as Earl travels on business, I tend to go into full nerd mode to fill my quiet evenings. This week has been no different.

As a true nerd, I started out Monday evening by looking at porn on the internet. It’s been a while since I’ve looked at porn on the internet (well maybe not that long) and as I suspected, a man is a man is a man is a man, whether posing prettily on a chair, complete with abnormally pouty lips, or swinging from a ceiling fan dressed up as one of The Village People. Usually the leatherman. Been there, done that. And as I’ve always known, porn doesn’t really do it for me… I need the real thing, and the real thing is currently in Ohio.

Tuesday night I tried to be wildly productive. I have to admit that I had grand ideas. In fact, I went so far as to bring home a briefcase full of work with hopes of catching up on various projects that I hadn’t gotten to at the office. That just plain sucked. If I didn’t do it at work, why on earth would I do it at home?

So then I thought I’d dive into the internet by working on my road website, writing in my blog and generally being creative for the rest of If you take a look around at, you’ll notice that I didn’t get much accomplished around here. I’m longing for a new look to the rest of the site, something in a brushed metal motif. I did enjoy writing in my blog, as always. Earl says I write in my blog just to amuse myself. My mother thinks I should take my act on the road. But I don’t think Upstate N.Y. is ready for a gay, eccentric stand-up comedian that doesn’t get turned on by porn. Maybe I should show Janet Jackson’s boob and get them talking. Well, not actually her boob, but perhaps a picture. What this has to do with standup comedy, I don’t know, but then again, what does Janet Jackson’s boob have to do with football?

Anyways, after daydreaming of becoming a nice, male Rosie O’Donnell standup type and then trying to get the image of Rosie O’Donnell looking at Janet Jackson’s boob out of my head, I looked over at the computer desk next to me and saw Earl’s iMac sitting there.

When the cat’s away….

I bought Earl his iMac a little over a year ago for Christmas. He has been in love with the computer since the first time he heard the typical startup Mac “honk”. Maybe it’s more a bong than a honk. He absolutely loves his computer and has done some wonderful things with it, including making beautiful photo albums of our last two big vacations. I haven’t even gone through the pain of posting the pictures on Windows didn’t like that idea one night so I just gave up.

I decided I needed to give the iMac a test spin. After all, it’s just sitting there, right?

So I’m writing this blog entry on his iMac. I’ve adjusted the screen to the appropriate height for my viewing comfort. I’m looking at his iSight camera and it’s clarity, envious of all the gee-whiz bang look of it all. The little Mac happy face makes me feel so happy. I like feeling happy. Kind of like, “Hey, I’m your cool computer. I’m pretty to look at, I have Unix under the hood so you can get as geeky as you want, and I make it REALLY easy to get your little projects done. You’re going to love me. And I love you. Have a Nice Day!”

Oh my (insert favorite deity here), I’m in LOVE!

I want one. Jeez oh please oh deedy doody deedily please can I have an iMac? If you think outbursts like that are frightening, you should meet me in person sometime.

So Earl and I need to have a talk this weekend about what to do with the Tax Returns. I’ll sell my old computer on ebay and make a decent buck off of it. I’ll sell my various copies of Microsoft based programs to gather up a little more money. Admittedly, the talk makes me a little nervous.

But what really makes me nervous, is I think I’m more turned on by the thought of having an iMac than I was Monday night looking at the leatherman on the ceiling fan.