Ponderings and Musings

So yesterday the mound of laundry waiting to be washed was about waist high. That’s quite a bit of laundry. I don’t mind doing laundry, but it is a little bit difficult to get to doing laundry when one works all day, does the whole supper thing, heads to the gym and runs the little errands that need to be done since one works all day. I have no idea how people with kids and the like keep up with it all. But I managed to get the laundry mostly done so Earl and I can get ready for our vacation. Tonight we pack, tomorrow after work we hit the road. I’m looking forward to the adventure.

There’s something about clutter reminding you that it needs to be taken care of that can be more daunting than the actual chore of doing something about the clutter. It’s kind of like when you’re used to doing your own thing at work, like I am with working from home, and someone suggests that you should book an appointment or meeting or something. The prospect of having to structure your life around this appointment can be more daunting than the actual meeting itself. Or maybe that’s just the way I think. I like to feel free, and entries on my daily calendar can make me feel unfree. But I cope.

Inspired by the laundry accomplishments yesterday, I ended up cleaning out some cupboards and heaving out cat beds that Tom has never used in his life. I don’t know that I have ever known a cat to use the actual cat bed. They might use the box or sleep between said cat bed and the adjacent wall, but sleep in the actual cat bed? Nah, cats have better things to do. They have free calendars with little worries.

Maybe I should take a cue from them and sleep on the waist high pile of dirty laundry next time.

So I’m a pretty vain guy. Whenever I see myself in the mirror I have to give myself the once over, make sure the old boy is holding up pretty good. While my appearance might not meet the expectations of others, it must meet my expectations. Hence, vanity. I don’t think it’s a horrible thing.

Now I don’t couple my vanity up to insanity. For example, I don’t believe in the whole metrosexual thing. I don’t get that at all. I don’t understand why guys pluck their eyebrows to look like a 30’s starlet or a Barbie doll. That’s just weird to me. Perhaps I don’t understand that because my eyebrows are nearly invisible. They’re doing their thing, they’re just not showy about it.

For the past week I’ve been letting my beard grow out a little bit with the intention of not really growing a huge beard, just a little something to show that I have a beard but nothing to strain soup or anything like that. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve had a full beard and when I last had a beard, I had some gray here and there but for the most part there was plenty of my natural gingerness to be found.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed the bulk of my new beard is gray. There were no screams or tears. There possibly might have been an audible gasp.

Now as I mentioned before, I have no interest in syncing my vanity up with insanity. While some people find comfort in wearing hairpieces or coloring their hair or beard or the like, that’s not me. I wouldn’t feel “real” doing that sort of thing. That’s why I’m bald by choice and that’s why you’ll never see me discreetly carrying a bottle of “Just for Men” around the drug store. If it works for you, great, I just know it won’t work for me. But I’m still vain, so I have been considering going back to clean shaven until the entire beard is gray. I would rather be all gray than some gray. I don’t know why that is, but it is. And I’m pretty sure senility hasn’t set in yet.

The jury is still out on whether the mostly gray beard will linger for a little while longer. Maybe going on vacation next week will help me feel more comfortable with the gray sprouts on my face.

Earl and I are currently speeding along the Northeast Extension of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Since I am typing this blog entry, it is safe to assume that he is currently driving. We are on our way to his hometown where we are going to do our annual cemetery duties; we are putting grave blankets on the graves of his parents and other family members. I had never heard of grave blankets prior to meeting the love of my life, but this is something that folks apparently do down in these parts. The blankets in question are much like an evergreen wreath except the size of a grave. It’s a festive way to honor the memory of a loved one. I like the idea.

I have resolved that I am not going to look at the speedometer while Earl is driving. He tends to drive faster than I do these days but I still yell and swear more. It’s a balance that any married couple can achieve once they put their mind to it.

I have been feeling inspired lately. Feeling inspired is a good thing because I take it as a sign that I have found my happy place in my head and that I am able to express that happiness through little creative endeavors. For example, I’m feeling more inclined to write. I feel like I’m writing more in the blog, I’m certainly participating in other social networking outlets more again and I’ve begun doing some work on my clock collection again.

I was recently contacted by another collector who collects the same make and model of clock systems that I collect. He and his partner managed to buy the entire system from a local school at auction and then were able to score several pieces from another school. We have been chatting back and forth a little bit over the past couple of days and he has shared some photos of his clocks. His work is top notch. I’m looking forward to seeing his collection in person someday. His excitement for our shared hobby has inspired me to start working on the website highlighting my collection again and because I’m feeling more creative, I feel more inclined to pay attention to that site that hasn’t seen an update in a couple of years. This spark of creativity has, in turn, sparked my road geek side again and I have been updating that website over the past couple of weeks. Which then led to a programming project that I am working on with our friend Jeff that will eventually lead to more financial security in my future.

It’s all creatively driven and it’s all connected and more importantly, it’s all been sparked because I have been able to find my happy place again. That’s a really good feeling.

I have in this blog many times over the years that I hope that someday I will figure out who I am and what makes me tick. I have a pretty good idea of all of this and with this recent feeling of marked happiness, I feel like I’m getting closer to achieving that goal.

Life is good. Especially when you want it to be.

Back when I was a kid there would be much excitement with the arrival of the Sears “Wish Book”. It was fun for the whole family.

I would flip through the Wish Book and come up with ideas for my Christmas list that Santa apparently wanted to see. Then magical people would run off with the magical list and on Christmas morning there’d be one or two items from the Wish Book under the tree, though I think Santa went to J.M. Fields instead of Sears, now that I think about it. Sears was kind of fancy for us.

Anyways, as I mentioned yesterday, I have been asked by a couple relatives as to what I want for Christmas and though I always answer, “nothing, really”, that’s not the answer one expects, so today I went and made myself an Amazon Wish List.

Now, I think that composing an Amazon Wish List is kind of crass. Truth be known, I find it wicked crass, but it appeals to my organized/OCD side. It’s functional. It runs way too close to that whole “gift registry” thing that people do when they’re getting married and I’ve never been really comfortable with that whole thing either (though the software that runs gift registries is kind of nifty). So I have an Amazon Wish List and I’ve even posted it right here in the right hand column of the blog. Not because I want people to buy me things, I REALLY don’t want that, but I thought it’d be very 21st century to share my Amazon Wish List so that one could get a different perspective on my personality. Well, at least the parts of my personality that I want to be public. I

If one really wanted to buy me a meaningful Christmas gift, it would be a donation to the Ali Forney Center. That would make me really happy and be more in the true spirit of the holidays as far as I’m concerned.

It was much easier flipping through the Sears Wish Book.

Earl and I were talking about employment options last night and he mentioned that I’ve gotten to that age where I need to always keep my retirement under serious consideration. He is a wise man and that is a very true statement. One of the best gifts he has ever given me was on my 30th birthday where he insisted that I start a Roth IRA. Luckily, I’ve been saving up for retirement since then through various means. However, last night he mentioned that I need to always keep in my pension in mind.

That’s when I broke it to him that I don’t get a pension with my current job. I think he paled a little. When I reminded him of my 401K, the color returned to his cheeks.

The truth of the matter is that I don’t have wide sweeping plans for retirement. Since it’s probably over 20 years away, it’s not something I give a lot of thought to, but when I do think of my “sunset years”, I tend to go with what I know: rural location, no neighbors, comfortably sized mobile home. Flat terrain would be best. Something like Kansas or Oklahoma. After all, living in a mobile home in the middle of Kansas or Oklahoma would give my life just enough zing to keep it interesting. I might travel once in a while but right now I feel no need to travel the world. I’d rather we do that when we are adequately funded and still young enough to climb a mountain or jump off a waterfall.

Earl really pales with any mention of living in a trailer but I think it’s because it’s way outside of his paradigm. The only time he’s mentioned that it might be acceptable was after we visited my godparents in their retirement village in Florida. I don’t see me living in a retirement village (I’m really not that fond of people) but at least he saw that downsizing to something like that could be an option.

I guess we’ll just have to see what the future brings.

When I see little things in the news, like people living in the wake of Hurricane Sandy that still have power stringing extension cords and power strips out so others can charge their phones and other important equipment, I realize that I still have hope for the human race.

I started to lose a little hope when someone broke into my Jeep the other night, but then I read about good news and I feel better again. I’m hoping that people in the U.S. will do the right thing and vote like a good citizen should and more importantly, cast an intelligent vote on Tuesday (if they haven’t already). I might not agree with your political beliefs, but if you fill in your ballot with thought and compassion for the greater good of your fellow brothers and sisters throughout the country, regardless of how different they are from you, you’re doing the right thing.

I’m really hoping that everyone downstate and along the east coast are safe today. My inlaws got banged around quite a bit by Hurricane Sandy, but from what we’re seeing on Facebook, all seem safe.

We didn’t get much of a storm up in these parts. Schools closed, curfews were declared in a few insignificant villages, but for the most part we had a few big wind gusts and a little bit of rain. The yard didn’t even flood this time around. The highest wind gust recorded on the weather station has been 27 MPH. As I type, the wind is still around 10 MPH.

Earl and I decided to go to the gym per our usually Monday night routine last night. The roads had few people on them. Restaurants and other businesses had closed. Around two dozen people were in the gym as we trucked through our workouts. I was happy to see that others were maintaining some common sense and not afraid based on the hype. I think some folks forget that we are 200-250 miles from the City of New York. It’s like when we travel, we have to tell people that we are from Upstate New York because otherwise people ask how things are in Central Park or at the Statue of Liberty. I’m proud of being from Upstate. I wish more Upstaters would remember that this is Upstate. They confuse the hype and panic that grips New York and Long Island with what is going on in this area. I blame the internet.

While we were watching the local news broadcasts during our workout last night, I couldn’t help but notice a slight look of disappointment on the faces of the newsbroadcasters. Reality wasn’t living up to the hype and the bleak picture they had painted. Some say “better safe than sorry”. How many times did Chicken Little yell before people started ignoring him?

Earl and I just stopped at the filling station on the way home. As I sat there watching the gas pump count up at an alarmingly fast pace, I noticed the woman using the pump opposite of mine looking at me. I smiled at her. She smiled back and said hello. We then had a small conversation about the weather and the leaves and just some good little thoughts. We didn’t know each other. We had never met, but a smile, followed by a smile back, prompted a conversation, and that doesn’t happen nearly enough in today’s society.

As we got home and I took a look at my Google+ stream, the very first entry of the night was about smiling and being happy, simply because you can. I needed to read this today. I needed to have that conversation with the woman at the Hess station. I have been way too stressed out again and it feels good to just smile.

Smile at someone today. They’ll smile back. It’s contagious that way.

Here’s the Google+ entry I enjoyed. It’s a little long, but worth the read.

Life is full of positive experiences. Notice them. Notice the sun warming your skin, the small child learning to walk, and the smiling faces around you. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential by reveling in the beauty of these experiences, and letting them inspire you to be the most positive version of YOU.

What would happen if you approached each day intentionally, with a positive attitude? What would happen if you embraced life’s challenges with a smile on your face? What would happen if you surrounded yourself with people who made you better? What would happen if you paused long enough to appreciate it all?

Living a positive life is all about creating positive habits to help you focus on what truly matters. This is the secret of super positive people. Here are nine simple ideas to help you follow in their footsteps.

1.Wake up every morning with the idea that something wonderful is possible today. – Smiling is a healing energy. Always find a reason to smile. It may not add years to your life but will surely add life to your years. A consistent positive attitude is the cheapest ‘fountain of youth.’ You’ve got to dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like there’s nobody listening, and live like it’s heaven on Earth. Read The How of Happiness.

2.Celebrate your existence. – Your mind is the window through which you see the world. The way to make this the happiest day ever is to think, feel, walk, talk, give, and serve like you are the most fortunate person in the whole world. Open minded, open hearted, and open handed. Nothing more is needed. All is well… and so it is.

3.Appreciate life’s perfect moments. – Your life isn’t perfect, but it does have perfect moments. Don’t let the little things get you down. You’ve got plenty of reasons to look up at the sky and say, “Thank you, I will do my best to make this a great day.” So slow down and pause for a moment to stand in awe of the fact that you are alive, and that you have the ability to rediscover life as the miracle it has always been.

4.Embrace life’s challenges. – Uncharted territory in your life is not good or bad, it just is. Yes, it may rattle your foundation, and you may be tempted to pullback, say you can’t do it, or bail completely. But these are exactly the conditions that set you up for massive amounts of personal growth. Each experience through which you pass operates ultimately for your own good. This is the correct attitude to adopt, and you must be able to see it in this light. Read Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

5.Become addicted to constant and never-ending self improvement. – It doesn’t have to be January 1st to give yourself a chance to make the most out of your life. Every day is a new day to learn, grow, develop your strengths, heal yourself from past regrets, and move forward. Every day gives you a chance to reinvent yourself, to fine-tune who you are, and build on the lessons you have learned. It is never too late to change things that are not working in your life and switch gears. Using today wisely will always help you create a more positive tomorrow.

6.Live and breathe the truth. – It’s the most positive, stress-free way to live, because the truth always reveals itself eventually anyway. So don’t aim to be impressive, aim to be true. Those who are true are truly impressive. Being true means having integrity; and integrity is doing the right thing even when you know nobody is watching.

7.Fill your own bucket. – Choose to be happy for no reason at all. If you are happy for a reason, you could be in trouble, because that reason can get taken away from you. So smile right now because you can right now, and make it a point to fill your own bucket of happiness so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.

8.Help the people around you smile. – Today, give someone one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine they see all day. Sometimes just a single genuine smile or compliment can lift a person’s spirits to new heights. At the right time, a kind word from a stranger, or unexpected encouragement from a friend, can make all the difference in the world. Kindness is free, but it’s priceless. And as you know, what goes around comes around. Read A New Earth.

9.Spend time with positive people. – Life’s way too awesome to waste time with people who don’t treat you right. So surround yourself with people who make you happy and make you smile. People who help you up when you’re down. People who would never take advantage of you. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.

-Marc and Angel Hack