Geek

I’m trying to be a good little soldier at work and play by the system administrator’s rules. This is unusual for me because after all, I know it all, but nevertheless I figured I should set a good example by using all the correct tools provided on our computers for our job. Unfortunately, this means I must use Windows XP, Internet Explorer and Microsoft Outlook.

I’ve installed the “MSN Toolbar” so that I can have tabs in Internet Explorer. Since I’ve done this, it’s hosed my “Internet Options” screen so that every time I try to make a change, the program freezes and I have to “force quit” it. (Sorry for the Apple lingo there).

In Outlook, when I delete a message, it stays there until I “Purge Deleted Items”. Sounds like a supermodel fantasy, but it’s an unnecessary extra step.

Also in Outlook, whenever our database program tries to send an e-mail out automatically, I have to answer “Yes” to a “Another program is accessing your e-mail!” dialog box twice, wait 10 seconds and then do it again. I must say that’s a glowing example of productivity.

Then we have Updates automatically downloading, virus programs installing new virus definition files and all other sorts of bits and bytes horseshit.

Can you tell I’m getting a little frustrated here?

Nevertheless, I’ll get through it. Can’t guarantee that the monitor will make it in one piece though.

I’m going to give my PowerBook a hug when I get home tonight.

Never fear, jpnearl.com is back online again. I logged on from our hotel suite here in Buffalo and to my horror, discovered that our domain name registration had expired! A few frantic keystrokes of credit card numbers and voila, it’s back, and renewed until 2015. The world is suppose to end in 2012, so now we’ll be able to give up to the minute coverage of armageddon.

I was thinking earlier today that I needed to stop and pick up some stuff for the house. Cleaning supplies, cat supplies, that sort of thing. I really didn’t cherish the idea of heading into Wal*Mart (Always White Trash, Always) and I’ve become positively bored with Target so I it looks like I was stuck with K-mart.

The K-mart closest to us is crap. And that’s hard for me to say, because when I was a small kid, that’s where we always shopped, at K-mart with my maternal grandmother. We’d get popcorn by the jewelry counter, do some shopping and such. Or if the timing was right, we’d eat lunch at the K-mart Cafeteria in the back off the store. But no, this K-mart is rapidly becoming a junk store, and that kind of makes me sad. There are six registers, numbered two through nine. The store has one of those ugly “Big K” logos on the front, but it’s all faded. The lights buzz. The shelves are in disarray. It has a decidedly early 1980s feel to it.

You’d think if they wanted to remain competitive with Wal*Mart and Target, they’d keep the place hospitable.

I don’t expect a lot from my local discount department store. I’m not a big fan of Wal*Mart SuperCenters, though I have given them a fair chance. They are just too damn big and crowded. And Target seems, well, I don’t know. It’s like it wants to be Sears but have carts too.

You know, I’m going to admit it. I miss Ames.

Ames opened up in my hometown in 1977. It was store #80, before they acquired Zayre, before they acquired Hills, before they acquired Big N. It had everything we needed and it wasn’t sprawled out all over the place. I always thought it rocked because the record department was right in front next to the jewelry counter (at least before the first remodeling done in the mid 1980s). I didn’t mind when they moved the record department (and added computers) to the back corner of the store.

I worked for Ames just after college. It was a pleasant experience, quite comparable to my “Hills at Christmas” stint in 1990. I got to interact with lots of people, I wore a red vest that didn’t look too gawd awful and the pay was a little more than minimum wage. And then in the mid to late 1990s I had actually applied for an IT job with the company. They were getting ready to implement an entirely new computer system in all of their stores and I wanted in on the fun. But I wasn’t ready to move to Connecticut. (Plus, I had met this new guy named Earl and I thought I had a future building with him).

I always liked shopping at Ames. It was just the right size, they had popcorn near the front registers and I didn’t feel like I needed to hop a crosstown bus to get from Health and Beauty Aids to Pet Supplies. I know, as a gay man I was suppose to be all decked out in designer-label fancy clothes purchased at a mall boutique that featured bear-chested twinkies, but I liked the clothes at Ames. I felt stylish in them. There was a rugged air to them. I wasn’t shunned when I wore them.

But then they went and closed up shop in 2002.

I never did make it K-mart today. I’ll probably go over the weekend. I’ll deal with it, but I won’t find my Bargains By The Bagful.

This weekend while we were out playing with our own kind, our neighbor asked us “Why do you guys have a Mac, anyway?”

Oh. My. God.

Luckily, I was so relaxed that I didn’t start a geek tirade anyway. I simply smiled and said, “No spyware, no adware, no viruses. Ever.”

For the past 18 hours or so I’ve been in this total “hacker” mode and living like the nerd I really am. Not tired at all, I decided to rebuild a computer last night shortly after 10 last night and then installed the beta of Windows Longhorn I have. The rebuild took around 20 minutes, the install took just shy of two hours. Unimpressed with the future Windows Vista, I wiped out the hard drive and am looking at other operating system avenues for that machine. To be fair, the software I had was pre-Beta with lots of broken parts. But if the changes in this release stay for the final version, Windows Vista is going to be seriously fscked up.

Anyways, I went to bed around 12:30 to the sweet serenades of Earl’s snoring, still glistening from the sweat I talked about in my blog entry last night.

This morning I slept until the last possible minute and violated my routine completely. I did not empty the dishwasher. I did not make a lunch. I did not eat breakfast. I did not work out and I did not go for a walk.

I checked e-mail, burned a CD, showered quickly, brushed my teeth and dashed off for work.

Earl is having supper with the bigwigs tonight, I think I’m going to continue my geek activities and have supper at a local internet café.

And chase it all down with a Code Red.

We’ve been messing around with VoIP for the past couple of months, the latest contender being AT&T CallVantage. VoIP is pretty cool technology, in that it takes phone service, which has been around for over a century, and sends it out over your internet connection. You can take the phone adapter that provides this service, plug it into any broadband connection, and your phone number is active there. Anywhere in the world.

Too bad it didn’t work as planned.

There’s a couple of caveats with VoIP. Unlike POTS (Plain Old Telephone Service), it doesn’t work during a power outage. No internet connection means no phone connection. And since it’s portable, you need to make sure your 911 information is up to date in case of an emergency.

We’ve had CallVantage service from AT&T for about two months. Our home telephone number was transferred to the service. Outgoing calls have worked beautifully with the exception of not needing to dial “1” to dial a different area code and having to dial all 10-digits for all calls.

Inbound calls have been a different matter.

At first, our phone would ring four times and then instead of transferring to voice mail, it would just drop. Callers would get what we call “dead air” and then back to dial tone.

When I had AT&T look into the trouble, they did something so that our phones never rang and all calls went to voicemail.

Not a convenient scenario.

I’ve been on the phone with AT&T Technical Support for a total of 10+ hours over the past week, and when it wasn’t fixed today as I was promised by a Tier III support person, I decided enough is enough. I placed the order to switch back to Verizon.

VoIP is a promising technology and will eventually be the way everyone is connected by telephone. But it’s not 100% there yet. And with family literally scattered all over the globe, it’s important that our phone service is reliable.

Call me old fashioned.

Somebody in the Microsoft marketing department wasn’t thinking too clearly when they came up with Windows Vista. Not only does the name lend itself to one my new favorite terms, “Crashta La Vista Baby”, Vista is also an abbreviation of the biggest problems with Windows.

Viruses
Infection
Spyware
Trojans
Adware

It’s all so clear to me now.

So Microsoft announced what the newest version of Windows, expected in late 2006, is going to be called. Introducing…

Windows Vista. Clear. Confidence. Connected. Bringing Clarity To Your World.

Wow. I really thought the version formerly called Longhorn was going to be called “Windows 2006” or at the very least “Windows Longhorn”, much like the latest version of Mac OS X stayed “Tiger”. It certainly is a change of direction for the company, as an IT professional, I don’t think I’ve ever used “Windows” and “confidence” in the same sentence before. It’s a novel idea.

I really don’t get the whole “clear” concept, especially since the downloadable marketing video is fuzzy as hell. But that could be due to the bastard version of Windows Media Player that I have on my Mac.

“Connected”, well, that I must agree with, because an operating system that can’t connect is dead in the water with today’s technology. But heck, even DOS is connected.

Personally, I think the marketing department of Microsoft has kind of gone off the deep end with this one. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about the end product, as I’m always intrigued by new technology, even though I’m typing this entry with great delight on my PowerBook G4 using Tiger. Keeping up with the latest software from Microsoft is important in my line of work. I need to know how to keep those Windows computers running. But “Windows Vista”? Vista?

Like Crashta La Vista, Baby?

I’ve decided to utilize the Mac Mini a little bit more in my daily computing routine. I’ve been waiting for the USB interface that will allow me to record audio into the computer from my mixing board to arrive, but it’s been on back order for the past two months. So the Mac Mini has just sort of been sitting there. Then I realized that I can record audio easily on my PowerBook, so I’ve swapped the two to see how I like it.

Right now it’s a little disconcerting, because I’ve grown very attached to my PowerBook, but I think the Mac Mini is enjoying stretching his legs.

I really shouldn’t get so personal with inanimate objects.

I was lucky enough to be able to attend a work training course today, along with the director of the department I work in. I truly enjoyed the experience, as it gave me the opportunity to enhance my skills and be a more integral part of the team. I even raised my hand and asked a question about the software we were being trained on.

“Does this application work on anything other than Internet Explorer?”, hoping that it would hum along nicely in Mozilla Firefox.

“No, it’s only been tested on IE.”

Ugh.

There’s no escaping the monopoly of Microsoft and the buggy Windows OS. As I’ve mentioned on numerous occasions, I am a very happy but recently converted Mac OS X zealot. I love my Mac. I love the flavor of unix that lives under the hood. It’s stylish, yet fully functional, and doesn’t bring the headaches of malware, spyware, adware and fsckware that Windows introduces to the party. And I don’t even want to think about the viruses!

As I type this entry I am simultaneously fixing a family member’s computer which has Windows distorted beyond all comprehension. I was able to double the length of my beard in the time it took to open Internet Explorer. After this little waltz, I have my sister’s laptop to diagnose, a computer to finish building for my mother (she’s getting converted to Linux whether she likes it or not) and that doesn’t include all the “Please Help Me” requests I get at work.

It’s not that I don’t mind working on computer, because I like it very much. With all these projects, the geek in me is getting his opportunity to shine. But admittedly, my frustration with Microsoft products tends to shine through as well.

“Windows has not detected a keyboard. Press any key to continue.”

The software package we use at work is all built on Windows. It only runs on Windows. It’s so Microsoft centric that it doesn’t even try to use any other mail program when its sending out an e-mail bulletin. It’s Outlook Express or it’s tough luck.

You’ve heard it before. Close your Windows, and open the door. There’s a whole wide world of easy computing out there waiting for you.