Food.

Tonight I got back into the gym routine and did my thing on the spazzmaster and the treadmill tonight. I alternate between jamming to my iPod and watching television with headphones on. For some insane reason, I tuned into “Celebrity Cooking Showdown.”

I don’t know what in the world I was thinking.

Allison Sweeney made a delicious-looking blue-cheese stuffed sirloin that had my mouth watering as I was sweating off the calories.

Earl and I have made plans to go out for dinner on Friday night. I see a blue-cheese stuffed sirloin in my near future. Sounds like I need an extra cycle on the treadmill this week!

As a courtesy, I’ve included the recipe for your download pleasure. It’s in PDF format.

Today I discovered my new snack of choice: Nature Valley’s Sweet and Salty Granola Bar.

Oh my GOD!

This thing is totally awesome, with the crunchy goodness of almonds and a little bit of yogurt on the bottom. It’s probably not the healthiest snack for me but it’s not as bad as all that. These things totally rock.

Whomever I’ve dated in the past should consider themselves pretty lucky. I’m cheap.

As I’m sitting here eating my lunch, I’m discovering that I enjoy ramen noodles (or a healthy equivalent) much more than some sit down lunch at a fah-fah-fah-fah-fah type place. With me it’s just add water, zap it in the Radarange, and viola, instant goodness.

A rather uppity restaurant opened up recently across from my office building. Everyday I walk by en route to my car to go home for lunch with my gray and orange lunchpail from Target in tow. I’ve noticed a couple of glances in my direction as I walk by and I can just hear the fancy business suited woman sitting in the window with her $10.00 sprig of lettuce and $5.00 glass of mineral water. “He carries a lunch pail. Let them eat cake. Must be he can’t afford a place like this.”

Who would want to?

If I’m going to slap down some dough for a lunch, I want it to have some substance to it. I don’t need food that dances. I don’t really care about presentation, as long as its recognizable and not a color like fucia, it’s edible. And whether it’s a sandwich, a burger or a soup and salad, it better fill me up but good. I have no need for my taste buds to be tempted by some exotic spice that’s probably going to give me hives or the runs. When it comes to food, kiss (keep it simple stupid). I think that’s why Earl and I gravitate toward diners when we’re on the road, the food is relatively inexpensive but wonderfully good and doesn’t have all the attitude that comes along with an expensive meal.

So to the fancy woman in the restaurant window with entirely too much Aqua-net in your hair, I can hear your little snarky laugh. And I don’t care. I’m proud that I’m a cheap date. Don’t let the exotic spices catch up to you!

I can’t imagine that drinking anything that is colored pink can be good for you in any shape or form. What have they done to the old laundromat favorite of Tab?

Next they’ll color Fresca navy or something. And what in the world does pink taste like?

Q: What does Tab Energy taste like? Does it taste like regular Tab?

A: Tab Energy has a “pink, delicious taste.” Beyond that we’ll let consumers describe it for themselves.

I have a question that doesn’t appear on the site FAQ. “How can an energy drink be low in calories?” That doesn’t make sense to me. For energy, you need a good supply of calories. Something natural like a vegetable. Perhaps a potato. Maybe even pasta.

Drink some iced tea or something instead.

Necessity.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Earl and I ventured out as Mother Nature blessed us with a lot of wind, a lot of snow and a whole bunch of cold. After a successful jaunt to the local casino, I snowblowed the driveway and got ourselves organized and then went to the local mall. I was hoping to buy a pull-up bar so I could work on my upper body exercises, but there wasn’t one to be found. Since the weather wasn’t cooperating, we couldn’t drive to Syracuse or Albany, so I guess my killer upper body will have to wait a few more days.

We stopped for a quick bite to eat at a local pub (I hadn’t been there in 14 years or so), and then we decided to stock up on groceries so we wouldn’t have to venture out tomorrow.

Here I am grabbing a small can of almonds (for protein!) Notice I’m standing near the Splenda. I find that quite ironic, because I absolutely hate the stuff and consider it to be a menace to society.

And here’s Earl picking out the peanut butter for me. He hates the stuff but tolerates it’s presence in the house because he knows how much I love it. Now that’s love.

Pick The Damn Peanut Butter.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Diner in Canastota.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Earl and I decided to go cheap for dinner tonight and went to a local diner for a nice home-cooked supper. One of the things I like about this particular diner is that the portions are not outrageously sized and the food is very, very good.

As you can see we sat at the counter, the waitress commented to Earl that I was a cheap date.

Him: “It’s 67 degrees outside here in Atlanta. Tonight we went to a really nice steakhouse, I had filet mignon stuffed with shrimp. The waiter was really good looking and was pouring on the southern hospitality. I think he wants me. Then I joined the guys for a beer downstairs before calling you. I think I’m going to catch the game at that bar called Woofs before calling it a night.”

Me: “Oh that’s nice. We’re under a Winter Storm Warning and I ate lukewarm leftovers for supper. Last night’s meat is still tough. The furnace man never showed up like he promised, so I went to the mall and looked at the empty storefronts. I decided that was boring so I really lived on the edge and bought a new holster for my cell phone. Then I became absolutely giddy when I discovered at K-mart that Oxy Clean has a liquid version. Right now I’m so lonely I found myself watching an early All In The Family episode with my hand down my pants. I’m finding Meathead very hot because it was one of the episodes where he still had the beard. ”

Do I sound bitter?

Keeping within the Domestic Diety theme of the week, I got up early this morning and got a head start on preparing tonight’s supper.

Now that you’re back upright after falling on the floor, shall I continue?

Earl does most of the grocery shopping for our happy little household. He likes to go to the big supermarket that’s reasonably close to us (it’s called Hannafords), put on his iPod and buy the necessities for the week. I usually drop a fair number of hints of what I’d like so that I can get in on the Emeril game and he obliges. This past Sunday I mentioned that it might be fun to fire up the crockpot again and get into autumn mode. He picked up the necessary ingredients for a couple nights of crockpot fun.

Tonight we are having pork tenderloin with carrots, potatoes and celery. He picked up this little seasoning packet that made the whole process so easier. Just slice, dice, cut, add water and spices and set the crockpot to auto-shift. Even a fool like myself can do it.

I much prefer having to put out the extra effort to do things this way rather than finding some microwave-able frozen dinner, pulling back the cellophane and punching in “5-0-0” on the keypad and hoping for something good to come out of it. I’ve mentioned before that though I grew up with the Radarange/microwave, I don’t really trust it and they’re going to find that it’s bad for you any time now.

I’m looking forward to tonight’s crockpot dinner. I’m so giddy I could hug the crockpot itself.

Now I think I’ve gone a little overboard.

Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Being on call this weekend has given me some well needed extra time around the house. I’ve kicked my “domestic god” into high and can say with great triumph that right now the hamper, washer and dryer are all empty. That gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling

I also took the opportunity to get back into baking mode. There’s something about the fall winds that sing “cheesecake! pies! cookies!” to me so naturally I had to indulge myself. In a way, it was Earl’s fault. He made a delicious homemade chicken soup in the crockpot this morning so I felt compelled to follow up with dessert. Hence, chocolate chip cookies.

Whenever I bake I’m reminded of my paternal grandmother. She was a good ol’ “farm wife” in that she baked her own bread, cookies and pies, made her own stews, soups and sauces and lots of other stuff as well, canned vegetables every fall, sewed her own dresses and held down a part-time job with the family business all at the same time. My grandmother was a fabulous cook. As a kid I used to go next door to her house after school to enjoy some milk and cookies. She would take time out of her schedule to watch ‘Bewitched’ and ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ reruns with me, sometimes doing the ironing or folding laundry while doing so. Looking back, it seemed like she baked every day. We continued to eat her cookies from the freezer for several months after her death. Earl never met my grandmother, but he did have the opportunity to have some of her cookies. After she passed away I found some of her recipes, pulled them out, copied them all down and the put them back where I found them. Using her recipes while baking is keeping her legacy alive.

As adults, my sister and I have said that we were lucky in that we have diverse grandmothers. While my aforementioned grandma could bake with the best of them, our maternal grandmother wasn’t big in baking, but she could grow plants and vegetables and she could knit, sew and crochet with the best of them. Need a doily to cover Arkansas? Need an afghan to cover up your car? Not a problem, she could whip both up in a week.

I made 4 1/2 dozen cookies today. But unlike my grandmother’s cookies, these won’t be around long enough to freeze. Bon appetit!

Working the later shift at work (9 a.m. to 6 p.m.), I am blessed with being the last member of the group to take a lunch hour. Usually, it’s not too rough, I end up going to lunch at or about 1:00, but because one of our team members is on vacation, this gets pushed off until everyone is back in the office. Wednesday I left for lunch at 2:30, which almost begged the question of “Why bother?”, but I’m not one to give up an opportunity to eat.

To keep my energy intact and my blood sugar levels reasonable during these late lunch days, I usually eat my lunch at my desk while I’m working. This works pretty well. But last night I was up around 4:00 a.m. for work, so I dashed out this morning after sleeping to until the last possible moment, still dog tired. This has thrown my whole schedule off and quite frankly I’m a little bit of a mess today.

While driving home from lunch at 2:00, after eating around 12:30, I felt the unmistakable grumble of my stomach. “Feed me now!”, it churned. This wasn’t a “I’m bored, let’s eat something to break up the monotony” kind of grumble, but an actual hunger pain. When I arrived home, I remembered that there’s not much in the way of groceries in the house. Hopefully Earl will rectify that this weekend (while I do laundry, dusting and vacuuming). But I did find a box of Triskets tucked away in the cupboard.

Is it me or do Triskets taste like rumpled cardboard?

Not that I’ve ever tasted rumpled cardboard, mind you. If I’m not mistaken, Triskets are suppose to have something on top of them, like a smidge of cream cheese and an olive or something. With nothing on them, they’re just plain dry. And they stick in my throat.

But when you’re hungry, what can you do?

There are two crackers that I really enjoy. The first is not really that good for you. I think they’re called “Chikin in a Biskit” or some other perverted spelling of “Chicken In A Biscuit”. Totally fake in the way the taste is derived, I can easily become hooked on these and jump into a chemically induced nirvana while eating them.

My second favorite cracker is “Wheat Thins”.

Now you remember Wheat Thins. Light, airy, wheat crackers with just a small hint of sweetness. Sandy Duncan earned some dough in the 80s telling the world about the virtues of Wheat Thins, before she replaced Valerie Harper in “The Hogan Family”. She’d smile, crunch and just look as cute as a button on television as she convinced us to become hooked on these crackers.

I really could use some Wheat Thins right now. Maybe they’d take the taste of this shredded cardboard out of my mouth.