Old Habits Die Hard.

We were sitting in the living room. My sister and I were both fueled by crazy amounts of sugar dumped on top of our “Super Sugar Smacks”. The Zenith color TV, maybe a 17-inch model, was perched atop a console television that had given up the ghost. We were watching ElectraWoman and Dyna Girl.

“Why do you bang your fingers together like that?”

My sister was referring to a stress relief habit I have. I curl my fingers inward and then bang the parts of my four fingers between my top two knuckles together. After doing it a couple of times my fingers start to feel flat.

“I don’t know, I just do.”

This was often the explanation I had for anything. I didn’t realize it was unusual, but it wouldn’t be much further into my life that I would realize that most found me weird.

I added, “try it”.

My sister did and she never found the sensation of her fingers feeling flat.

I still do this. It’s still a stress relief for me. It’s not the only thing I do. Like this habit I also snap my fingers when I walk when I’m running out of processing power. I’m also a 56 year old man that carries a fidget spinner.

I guess I’m still weird.

Every once in a while Earl will notice I’m typing out patterns with my right hand on a table surface.

He’ll ask, “what are you calculating?”

I’m actually distracting myself by typing out items on a 1970s cash register (NCR 255) I used at Hills Department Store, when I worked there back when I was in my early 20s.

No idea why that particular muscle memory lives on well over 30 years later. It must be part of my being weird.

I’m good with that.