March 7, 2024

“John is a loner”. I’ve mentioned this statement before in my blog. It was written in one of my kindergarten report cards back in 1973 or 1974. Back then I enjoyed being around people from afar, and 50 years later this is still the case.

My family here at our Desert Compound is rather social. My husband has been a social butterfly since retiring nearly eight years ago. As I type this he’s off to the movies with our friend Marshall. Jamie, Chris, and Mike are all socially inclined as well. A lot of their social interaction is online and they have popular feeds and the like on the social media platforms of varying qualities. Jamie has always been quite gregarious and when he graduates from barber school later this year I’m sure that quality will make him that much better of a barber. He knows how to talk about more than just the weather.

Meanwhile, I talk about the weather a lot. From afar. I can go to events and chat with the best of them but only for a while, then I need some alone time to recharge and get myself back in order. I’ve always been this way.

When I mention this to people they say things like, “but you used to be on the radio!”

As far as I was concerned, back in my radio days I was sitting behind a microphone and talking to no one. At the last station I worked at I figured we were so low powered no one was listening anyway. It was easy to be alone while being “on stage”, I was sitting in a room by myself with a bit of studio equipment and a computer or two.

Even back in my club DJ days it was easy to be alone. I was in the DJ booth, not on stage like the folks do today, and it was just me, crates of records, two nifty turntables, some lighting controls, and hazy figures dancing on a dance floor over there. The door was locked, I didn’t take requests after that nasty woman demanded she dance to Melissa Etheridge NOW, and I liked it that way.

The gay community doesn’t do well with folks that like to be alone. There’s events every weekend in every corner of the country and every other part of the world and like my experiences in the past, I want to be there, while everyone does everything over there. Earl and I were talking about going to a local club to an event called “MEAT”. The social butterfly likes to see all the half dressed people dancing and drinking. I go along because it can be moderately amusing, but I usually dress like a secret service agent or something and stand in the corner with a beer bottle in my hand. When we decided yesterday that we weren’t going to go after all, because honestly we don’t need to be staying up until all hours and drinking alcohol anytime soon, I was very relieved.

I’m going to gather up my wits for a hike on Saturday morning instead.

People that socialize a lot usually think that us loners must be sad or angry or something, and I am none of these things. I just like being alone in my thoughts, doing my thing, and focused on some sort of project or related activity. It’s just the way I’m wired.

And I like it that way.