Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I really, really, really wanted an iMac or PowerMac for my primary computer. I’ve been messing around with Earl’s from time to time and I found it to be quite geek-worthy. And Earl and I were going to “chat” about getting me a Mac and unloading my HP Pavilion. There isn’t really anything wrong with my current computer, except that I’m bored with it and I have a tendency to grab for the biggest goody on the Christmas tree. The only reason I could fathom is that with a Mac I would be free from Windows hell once and for all.

Well this week, one of our tax returns came in, plus, Earl’s annual bonus check arrived. Despite the fact that we had both vowed to pay off bills this year with our tax returns and bonuses, this seemed like a wonderful opportunity to bring up the Mac purchase. After all, getting a PowerMac G5 is really, really important, right?

In my heart, I know the real answer. Wrong.

Let me tell you a story. Picture it, February 24, 2002? Earl and I go to the local casino. I hit the jackpot on one of the fake slot machines and bring home $2,250. At the time, we are installing a new bathroom into the (now) old house. Do I do the sensible thing and apply the winnings to this project? I do not. I load us into the car, drive to Best Buy and buy a shiny, brand new computer… because I needed the latest and greatest thing. I rationalize the purchase by giving Earl my old computer (which is only one year old) so he can “speed” along. It’s good enough for him, but not good enough for me. The whole incident creates friction between us, but I just pushed it through, grabbing for the goody on the tree. After all is said and done, Earl and I have a chat about my behavior (in a heated manner), making me realize how selfish I was being.

When it comes up in conversation now, it’s referred to as “The Time I Was A Dick”. I didn’t write a lot about the incident in my blog then, because I was, and still am, embarassed my behavior. Whenever we go to the casino now, I hope to hit the jackpot again so I can, in my mind, “right a wrong”. I’ve learned my lesson, and it’s time for me to prove it, right?

This weekend I realized that I still have a lot to learn.

Of course the right thing to do is to pay off debt. It’s time to bring my selfishness to an end. Besides, my HP Pavilion 760n can easily go another year or two. Keeping old computer equipment running is what I do for a living, for goodness’ sake. And I’ve ended my reign of Windows Hell permanently by settling into another incarnation of Linux, permanently wiping all traces of Microsoft off my hard drive. I’ve even made it look like Mac OS X.

In the past this computer has always been a reminder of The Time I Was A Dick. Now it’ll be a daily reminder of The Weekend I Learned My Lesson.