Life Is Such A Sweet Insanity.

When I’m up late for work and can’t sleep for whatever reason, I sometimes reminisce about my younger days working the second shift. I’d start work at 3, right in sync with my own circadian rhythm and would get home around 11:00, ready to settle in front of the television (armed with a bowl of popcorn) for a couple hours before calling it a night. This was before the internet, when I’d have to dial into the local BBS (bulletin board system) or GEnie with my ancient computer at 1200 baud and $2.95 an hour to chat with other guys – and they were all geeks. And there were no pictures, only characters literally crawling across the screen.

Not an efficient way of meeting people.

So I’d tune the television to the good cable station “11 Alive” out of New York, later known as WPIX (now the WB11). I’d catch the end of “The Odd Couple” (always a fun show) and then watch one of the original 39 episodes of “The Honeymooners”, followed by an original “Star Trek”.

Ah, the good old days. I think there was a boyfriend somewhere in that mix. I wonder what happened to him? Anyways, it’s fun to look back just 15-20 years ago upon television viewing habits and the fact that we weren’t assaulted with prescription drug commercials. “Can’t sleep? You need Lunesta.” I say drink a martini, count the fsckin’ sheep and hit the hay the good ol’ fashioned way.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t watched The Honeymooners in *years*. Like since 1990 or so! I don’t think Earl and I have ever sat down and watched an episode together. I don’t even know if we get WB11 here on DirecTV. Hmmm.

Back then I would tell others that cared that Audrey Meadows was the second Alice Kramden and that Pert Kelton was actually the first. I was obnoxious like that, spouting off facts that no one cared about. No one of my age believed me. “Pert Kelton. Pert Kelton? Who the hell is Pert Kelton?”. But there’d be someone older than me milling around at work that would show a faint familiarity with the name and would chime in to my defense. It’s not like there’s a bunch of actresses out there named Pert. Come to think of it, I think she’s the only one I’ve ever heard of. Who would name their daughter Pert? Wasn’t that a shampoo back in the mullet era?

I think I need to pick up a few DVDs of The Honeymooners. I have one favorite quote from the series:
Guest Star: “Mrs. Kramden, your husband is certainly a treasure.” (walks off the set)
Alice: “Yes, and if he keeps this up he’ll be a buried treasure.” (mocking the wife) Priceless!

Jackie Gleason and Pert Kelton in one of the original skits.

The familiar cast from “The Honeymooners”.

Due to some network upgrades at work last night, my on-call pager went off incessently from 11:00 p.m. until a little after 2:00 this morning. Blurry-eyed and very incoherent, I would stagger through each individual page making sure it wasn’t some sort of on-call emergency and try to catnap in between the screeching noise my pager makes. I wish there was a way to have it announce “Incoming! Incoming!” instead of these happy dancing tones that Motorola has programmed into the thing, it might make me feel a little better. I’d enjoy a deep voice saying “Excuse me J.P., but your attention is required.” but then I’d end up dreaming about Night Rider or something.

Anyways, because of these unsuccessful catnaps last night and Earl’s poorly timed departure for work this morning at 4:45 a.m., I’m a little incoherent today. For example, right before lunch I called a customer to let them know that their phone service issue was still in the process of being resolved, when I realized that I had just thrown the old woman at the other end of the line into a panic (something about day trading) and truth be known, I had dialed the wrong number and she wasn’t even a customer of ours. So I simply said, “Please excuse the call”, which is a phrase that hasn’t been heard since about 1966. I’ve been watching too many Bewitched reruns or something.

So now I’ve come home for lunch to play the “swing the door” game with the cat. He goes to the door, I let him out, I close the door, he immediately stands in front of the window waiting to come in so he can nibble on one piece of kibble, then he goes back to door and it starts all over again. Why sit down for a meal when you can run around the house in between bites? To add to the fun, he starts digging the moulding around the door if I don’t move fast enough. Isn’t he cute.

At least there’s a bright spot today. Earl e-mailed me to tell me that he’s not spending the night out of town, instead he’s coming home tonight. That did liven me up a little bit.

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I’ve been thinking of my little road trip next week and think I’m going to drop Earl off at Philly airport, then head down to Richmond, Va. and drive across Virginia and West Virginia before heading back home. Why? Because it’s there. I hear folks down there really like us gay boys from the north anyways.

I’m on call again this week, but thank the Universe it’s only for five days and four nights. (Wasn’t that a movie with Anne Heche?) I have already accumulated more overtime tonight than I did during last week’s entire on-call stint. Daddy’s going to buy some Apple goodies with overtime money next week!

Earl’s work pace has gone from “very rapid” to “anti-vapid” in about six seconds but that’s o.k. He’s spending every other night in Scotia which makes for some lonely nights but I look at the bright side. It’ll make the weekend that much more special.

I’ve already put in for two vacation days next week. I’m driving Earl to Philly for a family visit AND for business meetings on Monday. He then jets off to Vermont and I’ll have the latter half of Monday and all of Tuesday to go on a little road trip in the Acura. Any suggestions on where to go?

I’ve mentioned many times over the years that I love music, more specifically dance music. When they were handing out the gay, I took a big ol’ helping of disco bunny for myself.

“Pure Imagination (Wonka Trance Edit)”, Ford.

The problem with listening to dance music off my iPod or my PowerBook is that I can’t do anything else while I’m doing it. Let’s face it, I can barely make a a cohesive sentence in normal life ambience, let alone type something witty while I’m jamming with my iPod buds in my ear.

“Come Rain Come Shine (Radio Edit)”, Jenn Cuneta.

I can not begin to relay the difficulty I’m having typing this blog entry while I’m listening to music at the same time. That aforementioned big helping of disco bunny is having a hell of a time keeping his fingers on the keyboard, let alone managing to type something intelligible. If you left a disco bunny in front of a computer long enough and fed him lots of music, would he be able to type out the complete works of Erma Bombeck, given enough time? It reminds me of the monkey that could bang out a manuscript on an old typewriter, while throwing his poop at the same time.

“Let The Sunshine In (Hot Tracks Mix)”, Army of Lovers.

I downloaded this song from, well, somewhere other than iTunes a couple of weeks ago and then played it up when I DJ’d in Buffalo. Surprisingly enough, the crowd loved the song. The hook is from the 5th Dimension’s song of the same name. While it is missing Marilyn Mc Coo, it’s still a very enjoyable song. If I still controlled a radio station, it would be one of those obscure tracks buried between two Top 40 songs that you wouldn’t hear on any other radio station.

“No Regrets (Almighty Definitive Mix)”, Quartzlock feat. Lonnie Gordon.

This track came out in the mid 1990s. It was a reworking of the same track from the late 1980s, which was very popular at a bar I used to go to on the Massachusetts-New Hampshire border just south of Nashua. That bar was called “DiRocco’s.” Good fun. This version sucks though, which brings us to …

“Come To Me (Extended Disco Mix)”, France Joli.

Did you know that this song originally had TWO verses featuring the male vocalist, Tony Green, who also produced this record. I met France Joli back in February 1997 in New Orleans. I should find that picture and share it.

Oh well I couldn’t find it but I did find an old picture of Earl and I standing in our restaurant! This was taken summer of 1999.

Earl without a mustache! Wow, I don’t remember that. It must not have lasted very long.

“The Visitors (Hot Tracks Remix)”, Abba.

Why do you suppose Abba turned down an obscene amount of money about a year ago to do a reunion concert? Do they know how many people are waiting for them to do something together again? Oh well. They must be happy with their current projects.

I’d come up with a witty way to wrap up this blog entry, but I’m too busy dancing around to “The Visitors”. Crackin’ up!

“Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy (The Remix)”, Big & Rich.