Spiritual Stuff.

Early this morning I had the most interesting dream. As I look back on it, it’s odd to refer to it as a dream, because it seems to have been more of an experience. Whatever it was, the effects from it have lingered with me all day long.

Anyways, in the dream I was no longer living in my body. I was fully aware of who I was, I knew myself to be ‘me’. I could go anyplace I wished by just thinking about it. I could fly by just wishing to fly, not in a Superman sort of way as I definitely was not wearing red tights in this dream, but I could float to whereever I wanted to go and it felt like second nature. I flew over a very large valley with twinkling crystal-like lights and vibrant purples, blues, silvers and golds for as far as the eye could see. The sky was almost a rose color.

The colors in this dream were beyond brilliant. They were breathtaking. The color of anything and everything was more colorful than anything we have here in reality. It was as if the color itself had a life of its own.

So here I am, basically a ghost or spirit or soul just walking and flying about. I can see my loved ones; Earl, my sister, my mom and dad, but they can’t see me. I touch them and they seem to have an impression of me, but they can’t actually see or hear me. As I touch them, I know that they feel comfort. Contentment. They don’t seem particularly sad without my touch, its just the feeling my presence makes them feel even better. (Perhaps someone is telling me that I’m full of myself?)

Then all of a sudden, there is a bright, golden apparition appearing next to me. As the being appears, I realize it’s my cousin’s daughter Lindsey, who passed away nearly two years ago. As I look at her, she is absolutely breathtaking beautiful. Now Lindsey was a beautiful young woman when she passed, and here her beauty is, well, accelerated, by the inner golden glow that I see all around her. She is infinitely happy. She tells me to write in my blog that “it’s all good, the best is really yet to come.” She then vanishes with a flash of gold and the hint of a giggle, and literally jumps on to the wings of the wind.

I then woke up, feeling wonderful for the most part but with just a hint of sadness because I couldn’t fly anymore. I wish my writing ability could accurately convey how I felt during my dream and how I feel today.

But sometimes words just don’t do it justice.

Thanksgiving Day 2005.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Today is a little bit different from a traditional Thanksgiving for us. Due to work obligations, we are celebrating Thanksgiving with just the two of us. Earl has been working hard in the kitchen preparing the feast, and I’m told that it’ll be ready at 2:00 p.m. (It’s a little after 1 p.m. as I write this). I’ve set up PowerBook on the kitchen table to keep him company as he busies himself with the preparations. I have instructions to just let him do his thing. I have a hunch that I’ll help on the cleanup.

Here’s a link to some pictures from our dinner.

We’ve both chatted with our relatives today, on the phone and/or on instant messenger. My sister, currently in Moscow, didn’t even remember that it was Thanksgiving until I reminded her last night. That was a little bit of an odd conversation.

There’s many things that I am thankful for, and I’d like to share them with you. I’m sure my mother will make a speech at dinner with her brother and his family today, and her little Thanksgiving speech usually ends up with tears in the gravy and sobs in the sweet potatoes. I strive not to go to that extreme.

First of all, I’m thankful for all that Earl and I have. Our relationship, our home, our existence. We are closing in on ten years together next spring, and it’s a journey that has been nothing short of wonderous. I’m looking forward to all that lies ahead.

I’m thankful for both of our families, all sides in all places, as they accept for who and what we are. While similar couples have trouble in that area, we are both truly blessed.

I’m thankful for the unwavering and unconditional companionship and love from our son Tom. He’s a cat’s cat.

I’m thankful for the friends that we have; Tim and Steve, Tim and Gordon, Eric, Mike C, Tony, Earl, Jeff and all our new friends in Buffalo. All my co-workers and my blog friends too like Terry in Mich., Jay in N.Y. and Thom in Va. – I hope that we can meet face to face someday. Thanks for helping me come out of my shell.

And I thank the Universe everyday for all the blessings that we have found along our journey. It truly is a blessed path.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Soak In Some Sun.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Sometimes you just need a little sunshine at lunch time to get you back in your groove.
Earl is on his way home from his business trip. Work is going well. I have many friends. I have a wonderful family. It’s all good.

Here are the lyrics to a great song. I find this track to be quite “crank worthy”. Heather Small was the lead vocalist in the R&B/dance group “M-People” from the mid 1990s, most famous for their top 10 hit “Movin’ On Up”.

Enjoy.

“Proud”, Heather Small, from the ‘Queer As Folk Season 5’ soundtrack

I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I’ve left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can’t stop me
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It’s never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Still so many answers I don’t know
Realise that to question is how we grow
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can’t stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It’s never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

We need a change
Do it today
I can feel my spirit rising
We need a change
So do it today
‘Cause I can see a clear horizon

Glorious.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

It’s is an absolutely lovely day here in Upstate N.Y. The sun is shining brightly. Ladybugs are dancing on the window screens. The winds are warm at a balmy 63 degrees. There’s a magic in the air that can not be described by mere words.

Tonight ghosts and goblins will roam the streets looking for some candy to celebrate Halloween. Pranksters will throw some eggs or squirt some shaving cream to make their mark on society.

Tonight we will light some candles (in lieu of the traditional bonfire) and thank the Universe for all that we have been blessed with.

Today is truly a glorious day.

Splash of Color.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Mother Nature graced us with some sunshine during my lunch break today and I had to take a moment and capture some of the vivid colors in our back lawn. We are just past the peak of leaf peeping season here in Upstate New York. Last night was a pretty good frost, which added to the brilliance of the colors in the back yard.

It’s days like this that make me appreciate the area that we live in. Normally I’m complaining about this area and how I don’t really like it here. The closest city is relatively small and economically depressed. Our shopping selection is limited to “lite” versions of the all the popular retail chains in the area. Our sales tax is the highest in the state (at a whopping 9.5 percent!). Various government agencies can’t seem to get their act together.

But then I see scenes like these and it makes me realize that it isn’t so bad after all. As Earl is constantly reminding me, its what you make of it.

Yesterday when I arrived home from work early because I was feeling so lousy, I took a few moments, meditated and asked for help with getting better from the Universe. I said aloud that I would stop taking cold medicine and chemical medication in efforts to ease or cure my sniffles. I asked to have these sniffles and associated symptoms purged from my body so that I could go out in the world and strive to be a positive influence on all those around me.

This morning I feel like a million bucks. No sniffles, no achy, no fever. I thanked the Universe for the help.

I had to share the experience.

Part of my spiritual beliefs include reincarnation. I believe that souls come to Earth on numerous occasions throughout the ages to learn lessons and to experience “life” in order to enhance our timeless souls. In preparation for our arrival here, we meet with others beforehand and plan out a rough outline of our life. We plant little cues along the way to let us know that we are on our path and making good strides along our journey. These little cues pop up as déja vu or as intution and remind or assure our soul “yes, you’re on the right track, you’re doing the right thing.” I also believe that we recognize key people along our journey of life, and while we may be meeting someone for the first time, we’ve actually known their soul for a long, long time and we just happen to be meeting up in this life for the first time. I believe these theories support that feeling of “love at first sight” or “becoming fast friends” or even that uneasy feeling you get before something bad happens. While I have read numerous books by several authors on this subject, these readings have basically confirmed what I inherently know, rather than steering me into these beliefs.

There are several people in my life right now that I feel I have known forever, though I’ve actually known them for just a short time. When I first met Earl, I knew that I had met my kindred soul, my life partner and that I would no longer be on this journey alone. It wasn’t learned, it didn’t creep up on me, I just knew this to be true.

These feelings came flooding in when I started my current job back in August 2004. I remember going home after work that first day, almost in tears from the elation I was feeling because everything just felt “right” for the first time in a while. When I met people through my office, I felt like I knew them already.

As Earl and I have opened up a little bit and allowed ourselves to make friends over the past year or so, we’ve met a couple of people that we’ve just “clicked” with. While we’ve known each other for only a short while, there’s a comfortable, calming feeling that can’t be described. We “get” them and I believe they “get” us. It’s an honor to call them our friends.

I don’t know why I’m feeling all deep tonight. Perhaps its the enchantment of the autumn wind that’s stirring up my spirituality. Perhaps it’s the centeredness I feel after a relaxing weekend with friends and family. Maybe it’s the sniffles I refuse to acknowledge because after all, I refuse to be sick.

Whatever it is, it’s all good.

Room With A View.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

It’s Friday! I’m not working! I’m meeting Earl for lunch!

And Mother Nature has been working hard at painting our back yard with beautiful colors.

My thoughts for the day, packaged up nicely in song lyrics.

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There’s nothing to it

Mark your calendars! As noted on Ryan’s blog, on October 22, Tom Cruise (yes, I did say Tom Cruise) will be giving a lecture, as part of a four-lecture series, on the following:

“Handling Sexual Dis-Orientation: Out of the Closet and Into the Auditing Room”.

You read correctly, Mr. Tom Cruise (or is it Dr. Tom Cruise) will be conducting a four-part “Scientology Is Fun!” series to help combat the evils of non-Scientologists.

It’s fun to watch this guy self-destruct. It’s almost better than watching Whitney Houston spout idiocies or Paula Abdul act drunk or stoned on American Idol. But no worries, he’ll pop a Flintstone vitamin and be back in shape in no time.