J.P.

Time Warp.

So I come home for lunch and all the clocks are behind exactly one hour. That may sound very odd in most households, but I have an old “school clock system” that I’ve collected over the years and all the wall clocks are controlled by a master clock in the basement. I figured the master clock became helpful and tried to throw me into my cherished Central time, so I went and corrected it.

I then went to heat my lunch and noticed that the microwave was exactly an hour behind.

Ditto for the time display on the caller ID box.

I’m afraid to go upset and see what time my alarm clock says.

[insert Twilight Zone music]

22 August 2005 by J.P. Spiritual Stuff. 0

Family Day.

Today Earl and I had my Mom, sister and her friend Debbie over for a little party. My sister is traveling to Moscow on the 30th to join her boyfriend, the professional hockey player, while he plays for a Russian hockey team through next spring.

In a way I’m very excited for my sister. She’s getting to see a part of the world that few Americans do. From the pictures I’ve seen on the internet, Moscow is gorgeous. Beautiful. I haven’t done a whole lot of research on the city, but Earl and I have tossed around the idea of visiting next winter. I have to admit I’m a little nervous about the prospect, but at the same time I’m very excited as well. I can be self-conscious in unfamiliar surroundings. I can be a little shy. Sometimes it takes a little coaxing to get me started, but then I enjoy myself once I’m out of my shell. It’s a left over worry I guess, from obsessing of what people thought about me when I was a teenager. You’d think I’d have grown out of it by now.

As we were sitting around chatting and munching on some great food, I came to realize how much things have changed since Earl and I first started seeing each other 9 1/2 years ago. I’ve never hidden my feelings for Earl, but at one time I separated the various aspects of my life. My family never heard me DJ in a bar because I DJ’d in a gay bar. My gay friends didn’t meet my family. I never talked about going to gay campgrounds or playing volleyball with my gay friends or going to Boston for Pride. Earl and I now talk openly about many aspects of our lives. We talk about going to the gay campgrounds, we talk about swimming naked at bear pool parties, we talk about the “Earl Overlap” (I dated two Earl’s at the same time before settling down with this one – and yes, I was honest with both.)

Life is so much easier when its honest and real. That’s one of the things I admire about the writings of my blog friend Terry. He doesn’t change pronouns, he doesn’t tame language; he says it like it is whether mundane or outrageous. I find that an admirable trait.

I believe in speaking the truth. It’s not a bad thing.

21 August 2005 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 1

Rosie, You Still Rock.

Earl and I watched an interview with Rosie O’Donnell tonight. She was featured on “Birch and Co.” on the new “Here” network, one of the two all-gay channels we get on DirecTV.

I still love Rosie. I’ve complained about some of the choices she’s made. I thought she sucked up to some celebrities a little too much when she had her talk show. I didn’t totally buy the whole “Queen of Nice” thing she had going on. But overall, she has a heart that’s bigger than most people on this earth and she goes out of her way to help those in need.

Her interview with Ms. Birch was candid and it was refreshing. Rosie is like me in that “she just is” when it comes to being gay. It’s not a big deal to her. Well, maybe she’s a little more refined in that department than I am, so I’m out loud and proud, and she’s just out and proud. Maybe a little loud. She “tried on” being gay at 16 by saying out loud, “I’m gay” while driving in her Volare. I did the same thing in my ’76 Pontiac Astre when I was a senior in high school. It’s just the way she is and its just the way I am.

I grew tired of Rosie’s talk show a little after the Barbra Streisand appearance, but rejoined the fun late in the 5th season. I think Rosie may have tired of it as well. Who knows.

In a way I wish that I could be like Rosie in that I have millions of dollars that I can share with those in need. But alas, we haven’t won the lottery yet so right now “The JPnEarl Foundation” has $55 in it or so. Maybe we’ll donate that $55 to one of Rosie’s charities.

It was a pleasure to see you on television tonight Rosie. I wish that someday I could have the opportunity for us to sit down and have supper with you and your family, but I’m content with the little wave you acknowledged when we were in the audience in 1997 and the brief chat room conversation in AOL back in ’96.

Rosie, You Still Rock!

19 August 2005 by J.P. Gayish. 0

Still Fired Up About Judging Amy.

Every time I start going through my entertainment bookmarks and come across the “Judging Amy” message board, I get fired up about CBS’ cancellation of the series. So I fired off another letter to the company again today.

I’ve written several times regarding the cancellation of “Judging Amy” and I haven’t heard any sort of response. Not even an automated response to let me know that someone, somewhere in your organization has at least acknowledged the fact that A LOT of viewers are writing regarding the cancellation of “Judging Amy”.

I actively maintain a blog. I’ve posted a copy of my letter than I mailed to your company on my blog. I have received more comments on that letter than any other blog entry I’ve made since 2000. There is a huge population out there that is very disappointed in the cancellation of “Judging Amy”. And yet, you do not respond to any e-mails, written mail or other correspondence. Is this how you truly feel about your audience, that you don’t really care about their opinions?

Are there any plans to do a two-hour “wrap-up” movie? Even NBC is giving American Dreams the same dignity and that show was only on for three years. Are there plans to bring back “Judging Amy” in the fall?

I would appreciate some sort of response! I feel that you have made a terrible mistake with this decision. Unfortunately I no longer have anything to watch on Tuesday nights at 10 p.m.

Follow this link and click ‘Feedback’ at the bottom if you’re interested in dropping your own comment.

I know it’s just a television show. But, damn it, it was an intelligent television show with very good writing, very good acting and solid ratings. It was the one show on CBS that I still enjoyed. It comes to close to being the one show left on network television I still enjoyed. The cancellation of this show defies logic. Unbelievable.

What amazes me most is that I didn’t get this fired up about the cancellation of Wonder Woman back in ’79!

19 August 2005 by J.P. Why. 2

Where Art Thou, Sandy Duncan.

Working the later shift at work (9 a.m. to 6 p.m.), I am blessed with being the last member of the group to take a lunch hour. Usually, it’s not too rough, I end up going to lunch at or about 1:00, but because one of our team members is on vacation, this gets pushed off until everyone is back in the office. Wednesday I left for lunch at 2:30, which almost begged the question of “Why bother?”, but I’m not one to give up an opportunity to eat.

To keep my energy intact and my blood sugar levels reasonable during these late lunch days, I usually eat my lunch at my desk while I’m working. This works pretty well. But last night I was up around 4:00 a.m. for work, so I dashed out this morning after sleeping to until the last possible moment, still dog tired. This has thrown my whole schedule off and quite frankly I’m a little bit of a mess today.

While driving home from lunch at 2:00, after eating around 12:30, I felt the unmistakable grumble of my stomach. “Feed me now!”, it churned. This wasn’t a “I’m bored, let’s eat something to break up the monotony” kind of grumble, but an actual hunger pain. When I arrived home, I remembered that there’s not much in the way of groceries in the house. Hopefully Earl will rectify that this weekend (while I do laundry, dusting and vacuuming). But I did find a box of Triskets tucked away in the cupboard.

Is it me or do Triskets taste like rumpled cardboard?

Not that I’ve ever tasted rumpled cardboard, mind you. If I’m not mistaken, Triskets are suppose to have something on top of them, like a smidge of cream cheese and an olive or something. With nothing on them, they’re just plain dry. And they stick in my throat.

But when you’re hungry, what can you do?

There are two crackers that I really enjoy. The first is not really that good for you. I think they’re called “Chikin in a Biskit” or some other perverted spelling of “Chicken In A Biscuit”. Totally fake in the way the taste is derived, I can easily become hooked on these and jump into a chemically induced nirvana while eating them.

My second favorite cracker is “Wheat Thins”.

Now you remember Wheat Thins. Light, airy, wheat crackers with just a small hint of sweetness. Sandy Duncan earned some dough in the 80s telling the world about the virtues of Wheat Thins, before she replaced Valerie Harper in “The Hogan Family”. She’d smile, crunch and just look as cute as a button on television as she convinced us to become hooked on these crackers.

I really could use some Wheat Thins right now. Maybe they’d take the taste of this shredded cardboard out of my mouth.

19 August 2005 by J.P. Food. 0

Comfy.

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like there’s a lot going on but the day is dragging out forever? That’s how I’m feeling today.

Work is going well. It’s not crazy busy, but there’s enough to keep the day moving. But I feel like I’ve been at work for an entire day and here it is just halfway through my lunch hour. Oh well. I think this feeling is an extension of yesterday in that I am totally ready for the weekend, regardless of the fact that I’m on call and we don’t have any major plans or anything.

Oh well. It could be worse. I could have too much to do without enough time to do it. Maybe I should just get comfortable at this slower pace. I’ve complained in the past that life is passing by too quickly, maybe this is the universe telling me that it’s really not that bad.

Comfy.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

18 August 2005 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 0

Ready For The Weekend.

Here it is Wednesday afternoon and all I can do is dream about the weekend. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my job or anything like that; its just that lately all I can do is think about the fun filled frivolity the weekend promises. To make things more confusing, I’m on call this weekend, so it’s not like I’m going to go out and be a wild man or anything like that. I’m just ready for it to be “Saturday”.

I think it has to do with sleep patterns. I’ve mentioned before that I’m wired for Central Time. When Earl and I were in Indianapolis last week, I went to bed at 11 and arose around 7, like I’m doing this week, but I just felt so much better. And that’s after sleeping in a hotel bed that was bouncier than a trampoline. Earl and I are big boys and when we toss around in our sleep, especially in a bouncy bed, we both bob around like we’re in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. (Tom plays the part of Leonardo DiCaprio, clawed in to the side of the bed hanging on for dear life).

I think I would enjoy my weekdays more if I was retired and could stay up until I was actually tired and then got up when I was actually rested. But I end up going to bed at 11:00, earlier than my body wants to and then dragging myself out of bed at 7:30 to be to work by 9 (at least this week). When I’m not on call, I have to be to work earlier, then its just awful. As it is I barely speak English before noon.

So we’re more than half way to a weekend devoid of plans, but I’m looking forward to it anyways. Next weekend we’re camping and I’m already looking forward to that as well.

Sometimes I feel like I’m wishing my life away.

17 August 2005 by J.P. Fun and Games Dept 0

iSavages

What a bunch of fscking savages. Somewhere near Richmond, Va. a local school was selling their old Apple iBooks for $50 a piece. The premise was simple, beginning at 7 a.m. today, you arrived, gave the school your $50 and they gave you a four-year old iBook.

It turned into a fiasco. People running, stampeding, biting, knocking others over; one man was even clocking people over the head with a folding chair. I’d hate to see what they’d act like if there was a shortage of food, water or fuel!

Click here for the story and photos.

16 August 2005 by J.P. Why. 1

I Need Potato Chips.

I’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly for lunch for the past couple of work days. I know that it’s rare for a man of my age to enjoy peanut butter and jelly, but I really do, especially between two slices of unhealthy white bread.

But it just feels wrong to not have some potato chips to enjoy along with my sandwich. Nothing fancy. I’m a huge fan of Doritos and would never turn them down, but a nice, normal potato chip would be welcomed alongside my sandwich.

I guess I feel all that and a bag of chips today.

16 August 2005 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 0

Reality Still Bites.

Earl and I watched the latest episode of “Airline” tonight courtesy of our TiVo. While I’m sure the show is designed to entertain, after all, that’s what television is suppose to do for the most part, I found the whole program depressing.

First of all, we have this See You Next Tuesday named Darlene who is dropping more f-bombs than a shipload of Marines because she was pulled off a flight for being too drunk. She is an embarassment to the human race and quite frankly we’d be better off without her. She said she was from Boston. If anyone from Boston acted like that they’d be slapped silly by some pretentious New Englander so I don’t know what the heck she was talking about. She made my head hurt.

Second up we have Mr. Clueless and his girlfriend, Miss NotAClue who are pissed because the 4:40 flight left at 4:40 and they missed it because they got there at 4:43. If the flight leaves at 4:40, it’s going to leave at 4:40, you bunch of nimrods. So don’t go having some ridiculous hissy fit because you didn’t answer the cluephone, didn’t respond to your pages and you’re mad because your big fat ass isn’t on the airplane you just missed. O.k., now I’m getting into a tirade here.

And last but not least, we have the dental student missionaries who go to Mexico to help the children down there with bad teeth. Truth be known, they’re FIRST YEAR dental students who are PRACTICING on these poor helpless children that they’ve grabbed out of this poor village. And they’re also Christian Missionaries (one student said, “the pain is temporary, but the feeling of Christ is permanent” as they yanked the molar out of a seven year old that was screaming in fear), which really twists my knob to high. I’m reminded of when Earl and I visited Tumacacori south of Tuscon where they showed evidence of the missionaries way back when telling the locals (Indians?) they were going to hell for not believing as they did. “Forget everything you believe, you lost people. Forget the Earth! Forget the Moon! Forget the Sun! It’s our way or fire and brimstone for you all, you savages!!” Such loving people, those missionaries. Always quick to embrace the differences in us all.

To be honest, I have found “Airline” to be quite annoying this year; ever since they changed the theme from a spunky version of “Leaving On A Jet Plane” to some alternative/head banging thing about being 37,000 feet up in the air. Like all media, they’re going out of their way to find the most annoying, pathetic, stupid people to showcase on their show. What happened to the passenger that threw the grandmother out of the wheelchair last year? Or the kid that had an allergic fit because someone left three milligrams of peanut dust on the 737 he was boarding. He swelled up bigger that Mr. Peanut. Now that was good television. I don’t want to watch some hayna fresh from the Hayna Hut acting like a waste of a good human soul make an asshat of themselves on television.

Click! Good-bye Airline, you’ve been dismissed.

15 August 2005 by J.P. Why. 1

J.P.

Time Warp.

Family Day.

Rosie, You Still Rock.

Still Fired Up About Judging Amy.

Where Art Thou, Sandy Duncan.

Comfy.

Ready For The Weekend.

iSavages

I Need Potato Chips.

Reality Still Bites.

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