J.P.

Encore! Encore!

It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! American Idol is on the tube tonight! I’m excited about tonight’s show because I’m curious to see if Paula Abdul continues her journey down Intoxicated Blvd. with tonight’s performances. I’m guessing she is going to parrot Randy’s praise or criticism and then interrupt Simon while he spews out his opinions. She’ll probably bonk him over the head once or twice as well and tell him to be quiet. She’ll pepper her comments with the word “pitchy”.

She’ll manage all this with a certain slur to her speech that isn’t easily duplicated.

I know it’s not nice to pick on Paula Abdul, after all, several pre-teens on the American Idol message boards have told me, and the other tens of thousands of people joining in on the fun, that’s we are quite rude for expecting Paula to be sober for the tapings of the show.

As far as performances go, tonight will be one of the first nights that I’ll be able to enjoy the show in quite a while because there’s no threat of Brenna, the terror of a contestant that had little in talent and a whole lot in obnoxious. Last week we were given the pleasure of seeing her leave the competition, but unfortunately that gave her the opportunity to screech one more time through Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” per American Idol’s, “You had the lowest votes, America has asked you to leave, but sing for us one more time!” policy. In a display of her typical ignorance, Brenna changed the words to “Last Dance” during her final performance to infer that she would dance for money.

Wouldn’t surprise me to see internet pictures of her pole dancing someday. Not that I would actively look for that sort of thing.

7 March 2006 by Everyone's A Critic. 1

Ride.

Upon getting settled in for Monday at work today, I was asked what I did this weekend. I responded that Earl and I jumped in the Jeep and went for a ride. When asked our final destination, I told them about our trip to Martinsburg, W. Va.

“Oh, do you know someone in Martinsburg?”

“Uh no.” (Come to find out we know someone that lives in that general vicinity but that’s another story).

“Then why did you go there?”

I really resisted the urge to say “because it’s there” and instead responded with the fact that it was near 50 degrees, the sun was shining brightly and there was no snow on the ground.

My co-workers shook their head in disbelief. “You drove seven hours in one direction for that?” The funny thing is Earl and I didn’t think twice about driving seven hours in one direction for unlimited ribs and a few beers at a chain restaurant called “Texas Steakhouse and Saloon”. Since I had a few beers at dinner on an empty stomach, that’s essentially all we ended up doing, though I had good intentions to do more after supper.

There’s just something about riding in a vehicle and exploring the countryside that is very, very appealing to me. I think some of it has to do with my childhood; my family would often go for a Sunday ride in our ’78 Impala and those rides hold very happy memories for me. When I was younger, we’d pile into the ’71 Heavy Chevy and make the 75-mile round trip trek to my grandparents “in the city”. My other grandparents seemed to be a happy couple, and they went for rides all the time, driving 100 miles in one direction for supper in an out of the way restaurant in Gouverneur (look at a map of New York, you’ll see how ‘out of the way’) and drove the country twice a year (“south” and “west” in February, “north” and “west” in September). I remember them holding hands at brunch almost up until the day my grandmother died.

When Earl and I got together for our first date, we spent that entire weekend together. On that Sunday long ago, we drove in my Hyundai Excel up into the mountains of Vermont, just simply talking and getting to know each other. I felt like I knew more about Earl that day than I knew about my first two boyfriends combined. I remember feeling so lucky on that day, having found someone that seemed to enjoy going for a ride as much as I did. And you know what? Even though that first ride together was just shy of 10 years ago, to this day Earl and I still discover more about each other and thrive on exploring the country side by side in the Jeep or whatever.

I could spend my life on the road and not complain about it. There is so much out there to discover and experience. And we are going to continue to experience all we can.

6 March 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 1

Passenger.




New Sunglasses.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Earl and I drove home from West Virginia today. There’s nothing like a spontaneous weekend trip to get the blood moving and to clear the cobwebs out of the head. I tried something a little different when it comes to our road trip adventures today.

I rode the entire trip home as a passenger.

When Earl and I travel, I usually take the helm and he acts as co-pilot. His role is very important as he provides witty dialogue, a much needed neck rub after several hours of travel or a joyous symphony of snoring while he naps and I keep my eyes glued on the road.

Today we reversed roles and he drove while I snored. Actually, I only snored through Scranton, Pa. And everyone snores through Scranton. What else is there to do?

I think I’ve been the designated driver of the family (of my own volition) for all these years because I’m a control freak. Earl and I approach driving differently. He has a casual approach, using one hand on the wheel and only signaling to change lanes when there’s a driver close by that will actually notice the turn signal. Me? I’m the world’s best driver (if I do say so myself), obeying all rules of the road except for the maximum speed limit. I set my own when the speed limit is as high as it’s going to get. But I usually only do that in New York, now that I think about it, because I kind of think that 55 on these rural stretches of two-lane roads is dumb. So I usually do 70.

Nevertheless, Earl was the designated driver today, allowing me to see sights that I haven’t noticed as a driver. For example, the drive on I-81 between Harrisburg and Hazleton is quite high up and quite beautiful. Usually I only notice the potholes.

I think I’m going to try being a passenger more often.

5 March 2006 by Fun and Games Dept 2

Martinsburg, W. Va.

Earl and I settled in Martinsburg, W. Va. for the night after driving almost seven hours to get here. All in the search for sunshine. We drove through the quaint little downtown area which seemed quite nice but was rather deserted. We also drove to the next city down Interstate 81, Winchester, Va., to see what was going on there. Winchester had a nice downtown area as well, but again, they seemed to roll the streets up quite early on a Saturday night. So we headed back to Martinsburg.

The retail district of Martinsburg is quite busy for a town this size. There’s a number of chain restaurants, a mall and the obligatory collection of big box stores. I think development has beat infrastructure in the race for readiness, because there’s quite a few traffic jams in this area on a Saturday night, but it’s all good.

We ended up eating at a Texas Roadhouse. The wait was over an hour so we bellied up to the bar for a couple of beers. It’s a good way to get a feel for the locals and Earl and I were chatting with the bartender and a couple of people at the bar in no time. Everyone was quite friendly. One thing I like about here is that the pace is seemingly ramped back a notch or two but not slowed down to a crawl that has you beating your head against the wall in frustration.

After an hour or so we were finally seated and enjoying unlimited ribs. I wish we could say that we didn’t go crazy, trying to be healthy and all, but this was our one splurgefest of the week. We kept it reasonable.

When we got done with supper we realized it was too late for a movie, so we went back to the hotel to freshen up a little bit. Having several beers in me from bellying up to the bar, I instantly fell asleep.

Earl is so patient with his lightweight lover.

Tomorrow we head back home. In the future when we reminisce about this weekend, Martinsburg, W. Va. will bring a smile to our faces.

5 March 2006 by Fun and Games Dept 0

Spontaneity.

Earl and I jumped in the Jeep and decided that we need to see some sun and ground that wasn’t covered in snow. We took a gander at the weather websites and logically decided that we needed to head south.

We’ve set up shop for the night in a Hampton Inn. We are in Martinsburg, West Virginia.

Neither of us has ever been here before. But it’s considerably warmer than it was at home, the sky is full of sunshine, even a little after 5 p.m. and there’s a definite feeling of spring in the air here.

We have no idea what we are doing tonight. But we’ll have fun doing it.

4 March 2006 by Fun and Games Dept 0

Chat.




Chat.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Lately I’ve been opening iChatAV while I’ve been on my computer, trying to step out from my own little private world and into the real world that actually exists. It’s unfortunate, but I have a huge list of people on my Buddy List and I don’t remember who 3/4 of them are. I don’t remember where I’ve met them and I sure as heck don’t remember what they look like. I suppose it could be considered rather embarassing. The trouble is I’ve migrated my buddy list from computer to computer and account to account since I was “djjp” on AOL back in 1991. Perhaps that’s why most of buddies come up with “account not found.”

There’s a smattering of family members on their as well and I’m finding myself preferring to keep in touch on instant messenger instead of letting my fingers do the walking on the telephone. It’s a little bit ironic, don’t you think, since I work for a telephone company and that industry contributes to our bread and butter. But I prefer chatting on a webcam instead of talking over the telephone. I’m very 21st century in that regard.

I also have a couple of friends that I chat with on a regular basis. (Hi there Terry!) Earl is a big fan of instant messenger but more of a Yahoo! type of guy, where I prefer iChatAV (which uses AOL). Then there’s my family members who decided to ignore the Apple-centric IT expert of the family and go with MSN. Granted, I have an MSN client on my PowerBook but it sure doesn’t support the stunning technicolor camera images from my iSight. Oh well. Someday the world will use one IM protocol and it’ll be a little bit easier to communicate with people.

So I’m trying to reach out to other bloggers and readers through instant messenger so I can get to know people better. Don’t be shy to say hi.

3 March 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 1

Soused.

Two lovely women stand in the center of the stage. On them, lights from every direction and millions of eyes from all over America. Moments before, a third had been asked to leave as she received the lowest votes. In typical fashion, she was told “you had the lowest votes, America has voted and you’re going home. Now sing one more time for us!”. So the audience sits one more time through an excruciating performance of “Last Dance” by Donna Summer and then we’re brought to these two girls.

The wring their hands in anticipation. One of them is going home, right now. Which will it be? The host asks the middle judge on the panel, “Paula, why do you think these two ladies are here right now?” Her professional, well slurred and thought out answer? “Simon said because ate pizza and one ate salad.” She then breaks into laughter and the host looks in horror as he realizes she’s making a joke at one of the most dramatic moments of the evening.

Fast forward 30 minutes.

A similar scene is painted again, this time with two male contestants. One of them is going home. The hosts, a little more sheepishly this time, asks the middle panelist a question. “What would you recommend for one of these men going home?” Her reply? “Simon hands out fortune cookies on X factor and the melon eats the corn flake.”

Several weeks ago I wrote that Miss Paula Abdul had gotten her act together and seemed to be handling this year’s American Idol with her trademark poise, confidence and maternal instincts.

Nah. She’s still a lush. Or stoned. Or both.

Here’s another account of the incidents.
Thanks to Rotten Ryan for the Paula cap. I totally stole it from his site.

2 March 2006 by Celebrity Self Destruction. 1

Ready.

Like most of the people in the Northeast, I’m ready for spring. Singing birds, warm temperatures and green grass. The world looks so monochromatic to me in the winter time with the snow on the ground and gray skies overhead. That’s what it looks like today – monochromatic. Even the evergreen trees look just dark.

Significant snow is in the forecast for most of the area around us this weekend. Earl and I are still looking over our options of what to do to enjoy ourselves. We pretty much kept to the area last weekend, we don’t want to get crazy and do that two weekends in a row. That wouldn’t be like us.

Ah well, I suppose it all could be much worse. I should be grateful for what we have and stop complaining about the rest. I’d really be grateful for an early spring though.

2 March 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 0

Numbers.

I’m not a big fan of statistics. I usually don’t run around quoting averages and poll results to people because after all, what’s really in a number? I like to think that I’m much more colorful with wording when it comes to dealing with statistics and what not, for example, if six out of 10 people liked salt on their popcorn, I’d say that a majority of people like salt on their popcorn. If I notice that 85 of 100 cars in the carpool lane are hybrids, I’d say “there’s a lot of hybrid cars in the car pool lane.” When we were younger working at the family hardware store, my cousins and I once counted the number of people that picked their nose while waiting for the traffic light up the street. My cousins did a scientific study determining how many people, what time and their sex. I rounded it off to “most”.

CBS came out with a poll this week indicating that Bush Lite’s approval rating is at an all-time low of 34% and Duck and Cover Dick’s approval rating is at 18%. I don’t think it’s fair to taunt the current administration on their approval ratings. After all, it’s apparent that only “a smattering” of the American people approve of the president’s performance and “a few” approve of the veep. Why get all worked up with actual numbers.

So much for that big mandate they were crowing about.

I think the United States is gearing up for some changes. It’s just the start, but there’s a feeling of restless mounting among our citizens. Perhaps big changes here will go hand-in-hand with the civil war brewing in Iraq. Or maybe even the homecoming of our troops.

I could go on about some things, like the fact that there are over 11,000 (“a shitload”) mobile homes sitting in Arkansas intended for Katrina victims, except the for the fact that mobile homes aren’t allowed in flood-prone areas per zoning laws. So they just sit there.

Or how about this Dubai ports agreement thing we have going on.

Hold on tight, it just keeps getting interesting.

1 March 2006 by Political BS. 1

Ritual Dance.




Ritual Dance.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

As I was eating breakfast, admiring the sunny day and the blue sky, I noticed the birds in the backyard doing a graceful, poetic ‘ritual dance’ over the treetops.

Funny how they’d know it’s the 1st of March, since that whole calendar thing is a human concept.

1 March 2006 by Ponderings and Musings 0

About J.P.

Just a guy with a husband. We’ve been together 28 years and he still makes me see fireworks on a daily basis. Hiker. Storm Chaser. Private Pilot. Tech Guy. Hackerish.

Weird? Eccentric!

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