Buffalo, N. Y.

The sign on the Thruway proclaimed “Exit 48, Route 98, Batavia, 1 mile”. Having already driven 2 1/2 hours, sat in a traffic jam and seen two accidents along “New York’s Main Street”, we were still headed west toward Buffalo. Notorious for their cold and snow, the Buffalo area had already had a major snowstorm within the past 48 hours, where over two feet of snow had fallen.

And it was a wet, heavy snow.

Even though we’d only gotten as far as Batavia, with almost 40 miles to go until we reached the Buffalo area, there was evidence of a winter wonderland all around us. The colors of the fall foliage was punctuated with a background of white. And it was beautiful.

As we made our way into the city, everywhere you looked was snow. Snow, snow, snow. And lots and lots of downed trees and tree limbs. And dark traffic signals. It seems kind of extraneous to be DJing at a bar in downtown Bufffalo tonight, when large sections of the area still are without power. But, as they say, the show must go on, and tonight I’ll be doing my thing and trying to keep the party goers pumped for a fun evening.

Let’s hope the power stays on.

October 13, 1996.




October 13, 1996.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

We’d only been living together for a month. Heck, we’d only been dating for six months. He’d met the family once or twice and my father still referred to him as “the guy with the tattoo on his leg.” I’d met his family and they didn’t know what to think of me. They were wondering how the two of us fit into a single bed that one weekend we’d spent with them. And here we were climbing a mountain in the Adirondacks together.

What had Earl gotten himself into?

“There better be something worth looking at up here”, he proclaimed. “There is, I promise”, hoping to sound reassuring. I was loving the experience, the smell of the autumn air, the unusually warm October day, the vibrant colors found at this time of year in this part of the state.

A small notion at the back of my head made me wonder if Earl really had known what he’d gotten himself into when he saddled up with the likes of me. We traveled the well-worn path hrough the trees. The climb was steady, but not terribly difficult. There had been enough traffic through here to keep any sort of wildlife quiet. I had to remember that I had fallen in love with a “city boy” of sorts who, while not afraid of a challenge by any means, still had to wash his hands after petting a cow or still was amazed at the “hair styles” on the chickens at the State Fair.

And here I was taking him to the top of a mountain.

After the half hour or so climb, we came upon a rocky, flat area. We had reached the top. Twenty or so people in groups of different sizes, some accompanied by their dogs, had already reached the same destination. And they were overlooking the Fulton Chain of Lakes just as we were. The beauty was inspiring. The vibe was serene.

The moment was *perfect*.

We took in a few moments of scenery when I turned to Earl, took him by the hand, and led him off the rocky area and onto a bed of pine needles. The evergreens loomed majestically over us.

I looked at him for a moment, my stomach churned as I took a breath and he looked at me, and almost instinctively knew what I was about to do.

“Don’t do it unless you mean it.”, he cautioned. He was already tearing up.

It was at that moment that I got down on my knee, in front of twenty people in groups of various sizes, some accompanied by their dogs, and said, “The past six months have been amazing. I think I’ve been looking for you all my life. Will you marry me?”

I was tearing up myself at that point.

It was then that he responded with a “yes”.

It was kind of odd that I proposed to him, or that he would even propose to me, because Earl and I don’t really fit into the “traditional roles” that most expect of gay couples. We both can be very aggressive. We both can be very passive. We both can lead and both of us can follow. It’s a matter of synchronization I guess, and well, because it was meant to be, it works for us.

So it was ten years ago today that Earl and I said that “yes, we will get ready to say ‘I do'”. It’s not really your traditional anniversary, but then again, we’ve always done our own thing.

And yes, I’d do it all over again without hesitation. What can I say? I’m in love.

Friday SAW Quota.

Enjoy a little retro Stock-Aiken-Waterman on your Friday with the help of Sir Cliff Richard.

Back In The Booth.

bearnight-oct.jpg

I will be spinning at Buddies II in Buffalo this coming Saturday night. It’s my first time DJing in over a year and I’m very excited about it. The Buffalo Bears are a great group of guys. If you’re in the area, stop by for a great night of fun! And be sure to say hello!

School Daze.

You know I’ve been thinking a lot about these school shootings lately. I know I’m not the only one in the country thinking about them but I can’t really shake the sadness I feel from them.

Is this is what our society has become?

Thirty years ago when I was in second grade, I had two major concerns going on in school. The first was how I would be able to dance with Joyce Roberts during square dancing in gym class. You see, I just loved Joyce and she was always fun to dance with, but she was tall. Very tall. How would I reach up to her to put my hands around her to dance? The other concern was that the elementary school had just purchased three new film projectors, and as Mrs. Hayden’s designated class film projector operator (she had to keep me busy, these days I’d probably be zoned out on ritalin), I had better know how to run these new fangled Singer film projectors. I heard they were much different than those made by Bell & Howell.

And that was the extent of my worries in elementary school. If I were that age today, would I have to worry that I was going to be shot by some madman that had broken into the school? My goodness, I don’t think the thought of someone breaking into the school crossed anyone’s mind back then.

The world has become so crazy. When I think of those young girls in that Amish school in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, my soul jumps through so many emotions. Obviously sadness, on several levels. Incredibly, however, I also feel a sense of awe and honor. Some accounts say that two of the older girls volunteered to be shot first in the hopes that the others could escape unscathed. The word admirable does not even begin to describe the courage of these two young women as they saw, accepted and sealed their fate at the hands of a madman.

Many advocate for the abolishment of guns completely. Of course you really can’t do that because you’d be trampling on the rights of citizens, but there certainly needs to be many, many more gun control mechanisms in place.

I have many questions, but like others, I don’t have many answers.

Respect.

Today is National Coming Out Day. For those unfamiliar with the term, a quick explanation might be in order. On National Coming Out Day, gay men and women announce to those around them that they’re gay, be it a family member, a co-worker, the newspaper or the world. It’s a support mechanism of sorts in order to show the world and each other, there are a lot of us, and we’re not alone.

I’ve never had to come out on National Coming Out Day because ever since my first day of college I’ve been pretty much out (and somewhat before then). Well, I take that back. In the early days I didn’t deny that I was gay by any means but I didn’t discuss it if the subject didn’t come up. I now look at that as sort of a cowardly approach. Now I don’t think one should be sitting around the dining room table at a family gathering and declare, “The chicken is delicious, please pass the salt, by the way I’m gay, how about some fudge for dessert?”

While my early approach lasted until 1990 or so with many (I had told a few folks back in the mid 80s)and the mid 90s with a selected few (mostly my family), my commitment to Earl changed my feelings about how out I was going to be. I was in love (still am!) and for the first time in my life, I felt that I had found the love of my life and I wanted the world to know it. I hid from no one. And you know what? It was around that time that I felt I earned the respect of those around me. My family members, my friends and my co-workers truly respected me. I wasn’t hiding anything. I wasn’t in a closet peeking out of the louvers like some weird Hee-Haw skit, here I was, door wide open, take me as I am. And you know what else? If they didn’t like me because I’m gay than I guess we didn’t really have much in common anyway.

Now I don’t believe in standing up and making this huge proclamation that you’re gay. While I occasionally have a flair for the dramatic (I could be the long lost son of Maurice and Endora), I don’t believe in making a big deal about it. It’s not a big deal. I’m gay, so what. If it’s a big deal to you, well, that’s your problem. If you try to restrict my rights or beliefs or disrespect me or my partner because of it, well, then we have a different sort of problem that probably isn’t going to be pretty.

At my last job interview (which was for my current job of two years, by the way), I was able to confirm to my future supervisor and department director about my sexual orientation without having some awkward conversation. I didn’t change or neutralize the pronouns when talking about my personal life, my partner is a “he” and he’ll always be a “he”. And I still got the job. It was one of the biggest breaths of fresh air I ever had in my life simply becuase I was just being honest. I wasn’t worried that I would be looked over for the position just because I’m gay; if that’s the reason they pass me over then I don’t want to be working for them anyway. No hiding, no secrets, I am what I am.

So if you’re gay, peeking around the closet door and wondering what to do today, just take a step out and tell someone, anyone, that you’re gay, even if it means admitting it to yourself by looking at your image in the mirror. You deserve the self-respect and those around deserve the respect of you telling them the truth.

Changing Time.




Later Sunsets.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

It seems like it was just yesterday when I had snapped this photo and posted a blog entry about the days getting longer. As I look at the date stamp, I realize that was back on April 19.

Working the early shift this week, I awoke at 5:30 to complete darkness. The wind was blowing in typical October fashion, making the leaves rustle and putting a slight chill on the air as we get ready for hints of winter predicted for this weekend.

I’ve often said that I feel a certain magic in the air during this time of year. It’s not a time to hibernate but rather a time to rejuvenate. I embrace the darkness of the shorter days by using all my senses to feel my way through life instead of just simply seeing it.

Voices.

Every once in a while I’ll consider doing a podcast to accompany my little blog here. I have no idea what I would say, but I imagine that I’d get ranting about something and then go on and on about a myriad of topics until I ran out of hard drive space.

While thinking about this endeavor, I’ve been downloading podcasts from iTunes to see how others are doing it as well. Not to be snotty, but I haven’t been able to listen to a complete podcast yet. I find them boring and being an ex-radio person I find them technically frustrating.

For example, I listened to one podcast in which the person interviewed another person over the phone. He asked questions and laughed at the responses. They must have been uproarously funny because the host almost snorted Chrissy Snow style while talking about some random movie. Unfortunately, the listener couldn’t hear a word the person on the phone said. There wasn’t even any Charlie Brown’s teacher “wa wa wa wa wa wa” noise. There was a little bit of hiss that’s always present in a recording, but I’m pretty sure the host wasn’t laughing at the hiss.

I had no idea what was going on. So I deleted that podcast forever and always amen.

Cruising through the gay podcast section of iTunes I decided to try another. The host of that one sounded like he was a prescription away from a full blown cry as he apologized for being so depressing on his podcasts. Apparently this tearful soul was being upbeat this time around. A quick “delete” saved me from a call to Dial A Prayer.

I then decided that perhaps the gay podcast route wasn’t the way to go, perhaps I should focus on dance music or something. So I did a search and found a podcast like “Gay Bears Dance Music”. Perfect! There was some furfestival somewhere and the DJ was highlighting the music he played. Apparently it was held on another planet (or perhaps I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with dance music) because I could have swore that he was playing a mix of Yoko Ono and a really bad Bjork impersonator. That podcast gave me gas so I deleted that one as well.

I’m thinking I’m going to stick to the written word for now. I won’t do a podcast until I feel it’s perfect, and I’m not comfortable with the idea until I have the elements together to make my podcast pop. When I’m ready to go, I’ll let you know.

It’s Monday.

I feel like the day should be over already, but alas, it’s only lunch time. That’s not entirely a bad thing but with today being a U.S. holiday, work isn’t as busy as it usually is.

So it’s Monday. Earl and I had a fantastic weekend and I am eagerly looking forward to the next. Friday will be the 10th anniversary of the day I proposed, high upon a mountaintop in the Adirondacks back on October 13, 1996. To celebrate, we’ve both taken the day off from work and will probably go on a roadtrip, ending up in Buffalo, where we’ll spend the weekend so that we can hang with friends and I can DJ Saturday night.

There’s just those three pesky workdays that lie between here and there. It’s not depressing by any means, just a little frustrating. It boils down to the fact that I’m an “all fun and games” kind of guy.

Tom is playing his daily game of “shriek ’til you can’t shriek no more” to signify that it’s time for him to go outside/come inside/go outside/come inside/go outside. The weather is absolutely gorgeous and I fear that this is the last we’ll see of the nice weather for 2006. There’s been rumors of snow flakes in the air by the end of the week.

So of course we’re getting an estimate on getting central air installed tomorrow.

After a few run ins with some tasty BBQ this past weekend I’m back on the eating healthy track and I feel better for it. Let’s see how long this round lasts!

All Dressed Up.




All Dressed Up.

Originally uploaded by bluemarvel.

Earl and I are back home after a wonderful weekend with his family. We’re all settled in and he’s watching the Eagles take on the Cowboys as I type, I’m waiting for the washing machine to signal that’s its time to move clothes from the washer to the dryer.

I am so domesticated.

The wedding and reception were both very enjoyable. His whole family is so beautiful both inside and out. I had just enough to drink to keep the festivities interesting, to the point where I was going to let our 16 year old nephew take the Acura out for a spin since he thought it was such a nice car. I think I surprised Earl with the gesture (though he did not have a heart attack), in which he was then relieved that our nephew can’t drive a stick. I wasn’t about to let him learn how to drive a stick in the RSX; I wasn’t *that* intoxicated.

Nevertheless, chalk it up as trying to be the neat uncle in the aunt slot.

After the reception, we got together with Rick (Earl’s stepbrother) and Helen at the bar in the hotel we were staying at and just hung out, watched some baseball and made some travel plans for next year. Rick and Helen were the witnesses to our commitment ceremony nearly ten years ago, next year they’re going to tie the knot and have decided to do so in Ireland. They’ve asked us to join them for the ceremony.

Good thing I have a passport!

So now we are making plans for our first trip abroad. It’s a little over a year away, but I’m already looking forward to the journey.