It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! American Idol is on the tube tonight! I’m excited about tonight’s show because I’m curious to see if Paula Abdul continues her journey down Intoxicated Blvd. with tonight’s performances. I’m guessing she is going to parrot Randy’s praise or criticism and then interrupt Simon while he spews out his opinions. She’ll probably bonk him over the head once or twice as well and tell him to be quiet. She’ll pepper her comments with the word “pitchy”.
She’ll manage all this with a certain slur to her speech that isn’t easily duplicated.
I know it’s not nice to pick on Paula Abdul, after all, several pre-teens on the American Idol message boards have told me, and the other tens of thousands of people joining in on the fun, that’s we are quite rude for expecting Paula to be sober for the tapings of the show.
As far as performances go, tonight will be one of the first nights that I’ll be able to enjoy the show in quite a while because there’s no threat of Brenna, the terror of a contestant that had little in talent and a whole lot in obnoxious. Last week we were given the pleasure of seeing her leave the competition, but unfortunately that gave her the opportunity to screech one more time through Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” per American Idol’s, “You had the lowest votes, America has asked you to leave, but sing for us one more time!” policy. In a display of her typical ignorance, Brenna changed the words to “Last Dance” during her final performance to infer that she would dance for money.
Wouldn’t surprise me to see internet pictures of her pole dancing someday. Not that I would actively look for that sort of thing.