May 3, 2013


As I rode the back roads and through a couple of villages on my bike this morning, I noticed that the world seemed quieter than usual. I wasn’t being hounded by vehicles trying to pass me, I didn’t hear the thump thump thump of unrecognizable tracks rattling license plates on cars and I didn’t see any school-aged children outside waiting for the bus. As I drove by an elementary school my suspicions were confirmed as the message board in front of the school proclaimed, “No school May 3”.

Apparently the local schools are closed today.

I am curious as to what has spurred this seemingly random date for a school closure. Are there extra snow days to be used up? Is Cinco de Mayo weekend a long weekend now?

It then dawned on me. School is closed today because the annual Town-Wide Garage Sale Event Weekend! starts today.

The exclamation point is mandatory.

During a break from working at home today I took a walk up the street and was nearly accosted by more vehicles than usual. And these vehicles were moving slowly, very slowly. An eyeball stared out from under the steering wheel.

Elderly drivers were in search of a garage sale. Apparently the sport is actually called “Garage Sailing”, but that doesn’t make sense because I haven’t seen one garage that looked like a yacht.

I digress.

The crazy cat lady woman up the street has put out her wares for the Town-Wide Garage Sale Event Weekend! and this has drawn the garage-sailors like, as they say, “white on rice”. Vehicles are parked haphazardly up and down the road and people are walking near the center line, apparently breathless from all the deals they are about to find at each of these garage sales.

Tomorrow is going to be garage sale hell in these parts.

It’s time to get out of town.