December 13, 2011

Turning.

With the all the changes in our lives the past couple of weeks I feel like I have turned some corner around a major point in my life. Going back to work I find myself asking questions on the projects that I am working on and not getting emotional or stressed about it in the process. I’m still passionate, I’m just not raving about it. I was out the door five minutes earlier than my normal time, and getting out then felt good. I worked out this morning, doubling the number of situps I did the last time I worked out in our makeshift gym in the basement. I want to make another run at working out this evening after work.

I feel like my priorities have changed a little bit and it’s all for the better. I want to do what needs to be done in regards to my father’s affairs and the like. On the other hand, I really want the world to slow down a bit so that I can catch my breath. I don’t feel stressed as much as I just feel there’s a lot to do. I want to be able to sit down, with no expectation or no upcoming plans, and just enjoy not doing anything for a little bit.

This isn’t the time for that. And that’s okay for now.

Turning this corner and entering this new part of my life is good. It’s different and right now it’s rather sad, but in the long run it’ll be good. One of Earl’s colleagues wrote that boys don’t really become men until their father has passed on and it is then that we carry on their legacy.

I get that. Having turned this corner, that’s how I feel.

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