November 23, 2008

Edit.

When I started this blog back in 2001 it was in an effort to improve my writing skills. I like to write for the most part and though I don’t think I’m really that good at it I still get enjoyment from expressing myself by typing my thoughts. I’ve never been one to care about the number of people reading my blog. I love hearing the comments from others and meeting people through our cyber connections but I don’t feel the need to come up with gimmicks to get people to visit here often. If you stop by, you’re welcomed with open arms. If you’re not here, that’s fine as well, I’m not taking a billboard out to advertise myself nor will I make this whole affair “new and improved”.

I like to think that my writings here are a fairly honest, though rather edited snapshot of what is going on in my life. What you read here is true to my personality. I am pretty open about how I live my life as a gay man and I’m brutally honest about my belief structure. If I have an opinion, you’ll probably hear it.

There are some subjects that I choose not to talk about in these parts though. There are two reasons for this. First of all, back when I first started using the internet back in 1984 (and yes, I said 1984 as in the ‘Here Comes The Rain Again’ era), I was taught that you should never write something down unless you wouldn’t mind it appearing on the front page of the New York Times. I apply that principle to all electronic communication: blogs, e-mails, website comments, everything. To delete is futile, once it is typed it is forever, it will be saved somewhere, someday and might come back to haunt you when you run for Governor of Alaska or something.

The other reason that I don’t write about certain subjects on here is simple; I don’t want to have to answer uncomfortable questions at a family reunion or office party. I have no regrets and little to hide, but I really don’t want to face this type of dialog:

Them: “So, on the weekends, you…?”, as their voice trails off whilst putting potato salad on the paper plate. It’s a long lost in-law who stumbled upon my blog a month or so ago.
Me: “Usually on the weekends, but once in a while during the week”, I reply, being brutally honest and making the curious uncomfortable. I start to blush.
Them: “Earl does too?”
Me: “Not so much.”
Them: “In public?” Another scoop of potato salad, the interrogator lost in the moment.
Me: “Once in a great while. I like making a scene”, I beam.
Them: “Where do you get …”
I nervously glance around the food tent and quickly interrupt, “Online, but sometimes Lowe’s or Home Depot. Lowe’s has camouflage.”
Them: “Are there pictures?”
Me: “Undoubtedly someone in the crowd has taken pictures. Check Flickr.”

I remarked to Earl yesterday that my little bout of writer’s block seems to have become unclogged and I was ready to start writing about life again.

He replied that he didn’t know I was stopped up.